Choo Choo Motherfuckers: Trump Train Begins Rolling Over Opposition

This week the tracks took the Trump train into active and serious aggression against his opponents for the first time. Here's what happened.

  • One week ago US President Donald Trump alleged that his Trump Tower campaign headquarters had been surveilled under his predecessors orders. This opening move threw his opponents into a tizzy and lead the fake news media to parade former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, FBI director James Comey, and other functionaries of the Deep State to categorically reject that Trump had been surveilled or investigated for any lawful reason. Thus the fake news media refuted their past five months of drumming "Russian Collusion" over a single tweet.1
  • This was followed by the serendipitous Wikileak of substantial CIA information which threatens to gut the agency's leadership and careerist ranks for cause, because accountability is a thing in the Trumpland.
  • House Speaker Paul Ryan's plan to sever Obamacare was unveiled revealing priority GOP congressional targets to purge in the 2018 mid term primaries.
  • The week ended with Trump requesting the resignation of numerous US attorneys appointed by Hussein Bahamas including Preet Bharara.

  1. And further would turn any emergent evidence of Trump Tower surveillance into an ready made criminal case against the snoop.  

US Sportscaster Touts South Korean Victory Over China (The Republic of) in World Baseball Classic, Ignores Actual Losses By People's Republic

Today on St Louis's evening fake news, sportscaster Frank Cusamano of KSDK referred to "Chinese Taipei"1 as China in an aggressive move demeaning the socialist cucks at the People's Republic of China. The People's Republic of China instead lost Thursday's game 11-0 via the "mercy rule" to the Australian national team following a tournament opening 6-0 loss to Cuba. It has yet  to be seen if the embarrassment of owning their losses will be overcome with a statement from the People's Republic admonishing Cusamano for his transgression against the "One China" myth.


  1. Also known as Taiwan or The Republic of China  

Wikileaks Hands Elected Trump US Government Weapon To Gut Careerist 'Deep State' US Government

Today Wikileaks dumped a collection of CIA material focused on the agency's activities during Hussein Bahamas second term.1 Aside from the revelation that during this period the CIA created its own, less accountable version of the NSA; the agency apparently lost exclusive control over the apparatus near the end on the Hussein Bahamas administration.

The opportune timing of this Wikileak presents Trump with the prefect pretext for draining the careerist swamp at the CIA.2 This is bullish for plumbers.


  1. The password to decrypt the archive: SplinterItIntoAThousandPiecesAndScatterItIntoTheWinds  

  2. Brave folks passing by Langley, Virginia should be on the lookout for new dykes, dams, windmills, and weirs in the area.  

The Californian Dilemma Approaching Peak LOL

The People's Republic of KKKalifornia has found itself in a pickle. While KKKalifornia is actively seeking to secede from the United States because of President Trump's election, KKKalifornia's government is desperately pleading for certain portions of the Trump agenda to be enacted. Namely KKKalifornia wants the portion of The Great Again that involves rebuilding America's infrastructure as the Cali bois who have neglected their home into ruin reject the rest of The Great Again. The arid desert territory's roads are buckling, dams are failing, and the recent, rare deluge which filled their reservoirs is set to break even more of their stuff when the soil dries.

With one hand KKKalifornia neglects its infrastructure while devoting effort to legislating cow flatulence.1 KKKalifornia's crisis is that if one wants a part of The Great Again, one has to accept all of The Great Again. Can KKKalifornia summon the honesty necessary to make amends with Trump and America, or is The Great Again going to pass the once Golden State on by?


  1. And further exports alfalfa to China while pleading thirst.  

Fake News Figure Arrested For String Of Anti Semitic Threats

The arrested fake news journalistUnited States law enforcement arrested former Intercept fake news writer Juan Thompson for allegedly making a series of anti-semitic threats. The threats which targeted Jewish community centers and the Anti-Defamation League had recently been trumpeted in the fake news media as a symptom of white aggression against minority populations. As evidenced by the picture of Thompson attached to this article, it appears that law enforcement is alleging the threats were perpetrated by a clearly non-white man.

Law enforcement is further alleging that the scheme was perpetrated by Thompson as part of a larger effort to set up an ex-girlfriend as an apparent hater. As usual with cases involving fake news the truth remains elusive.

Another Guest Lecturer Attacked On US Campus

At Middlebury College1 a guest lecture by Bell Curve co-author Charles Murray was disrupted by students protesters and turned violent as Murray was leaving campus last night. As Murray attempted to speak in the designated auditorium, the noisy disruption was so great that college administrators moved Murrary to a remote room where his lecture was broadcast to the auditorium. Following the speech when Murray was leaving campus agitators attempted to deny him egress by obstructing the path of his ride as well as jumping on the motor vehicle and pounding on it.

Middlebury College Professor Allison Stranger suffered a neck injury while escorting Murray after an agitator grabbed her head and hair then twisted with intent to disassemble the Russell J. Leng '60 Professor of International Politics and Economics. This casualty has only been reported by local media sources, with national media giving the incident sparing attention and ignoring the violent turn.

There is no information available at this time on possible criminal charges. Pence in our Time.


  1. located in Middlebury, Vermont  

Fiat Currencies Appear To Enter Period Of Sustained Malaise

The thrashing that fiat currencies have taken at fiat/Bitcoin interfaces so far in 2017 continues. The US dollar and the endangered Euro continue trading under 1/1000th of a Bitcoin on fiat emphasized interfaces. Further strong signal from the fiat side bearish to itself is possible after March 11th when the US Securities and Exchange Commission is likely to approve, either by action or inaction, a new "paper"1 Bitcoin linked trading vehicle.


  1. i.e. not actually Bitcoin  

Automotive Insurance Premiums Surging In United States, Texting Blamed

Automotive insurance premiums in the United States have risen ~16% over the past five years with traffic fatalities similarly rising ~14% according to assorted reports. This rise being attributed to a phenomena where the common person when gifted with both motorized transportation and wireless communications combining the two to invent their own woodchipper. The motorist's old nemesis John Barleycorn however is continuing to compete with this upstart hazard, inspiring a motorist in New Orleans to plow into a crowd injuring ~30 today.

Fire In The Security Theater: Cloudflare Leaks As SHA1 Broken

Two honored pillars of the "cyber" security theater were lost recently in a fire.

Sorry for your loss.