"Биткоин — это единственная в мире блокчейн" says Russian State Bank

Speaking with newspaper Kommersant, Nikita Smirnov, Vice President of Information Technology at Vnesheconombank, told reporters

Биткоин — это единственная в мире блокчейн

and

Его можно сравнить с бактерией, которая уже существует отдельно от человека и вошла с человеком в симбиоз

which roughly translates, respectively, to "Bitcoin is the world's only blockchain" and "Compare [Bitcoin] to a bacteria, which exists separately from humans, but is in a symbiotic relationship with humans". These fiat confirmations come, respectively, two-and-a-half years and over four years after these blindingly factual statements were first announced publicly to the world.

And you thought ten minute blocks were slow. Sorry for your lag.

Yiannopoulos Quits Media Giant Breitbart

Today tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos quit United States media giant Breitbart after a video became public where Yiannopoulos related that his experience being molested by a member of the clergy wasn't that bad. The moribund press expended substantial column inches condemning the libertine comments as they conducted an organized campaign of oppression against the homosexual Yiannopoulos. Yiannopoulos tendered his resignation to Breitbart media as a result of this harassment campaign.

Meanwhile Breitbart Media, a venture which outlasted founder Andrew Breitbart, has grown to surpass Disney's ESPN in internet audience size according to Alexa.1


  1. For what little Alexa is worth.  

NZ High Court: Kim Dotcom Extradition Eligible

"Justice" Murray Gilbert of the High Court of New Zealand upheld the lower court's decision by Nevin Dawson that Kim Dotcom is eligible for extradition to the United States. Gilbert noted that "criminal copyright infringement" of the sort criminally marketed by the United States is not a crime in New Zealand. Gilbert instead supposed that "general criminal law fraud" was a sufficiently vague label to abuse in making Kim Dotcom extraditable.

McDonald's Exposes Nuts After Hiatus

Exposed nuts are again to be seen around McDonald's restaurants worldwide, as the company reverses an order that required peanuts and nuts to be served in individually wrapped containers. The move is a blow to sufferers of persons with nut allergies who had long benefited from the policy. A statement from the company said "All products available at our restaurants may contain or come into contact with peanuts, tree nuts or other allergens".

McDonald's employees worldwide are now free to liberally sprinkle nuts on any dessert, although a local franchise assured me they plan to keep their nuts wrapped for the time being.

US President Trump Hosts Press Conference And Reviews Action Packed First Month

United States President Donald Trump held his first solo press conference on the job and offered a comprehensive review of his action packed first month in office. Trump promised further action in the coming weeks as he celebrated a busy first month in spite of the fake news media, hostile career bureaucrats, and a slate of department secretaries delayed by an obstructionist legislature. A transcript of the press conference is presented below: Continue reading

Coindesk: Bitcoin Price Malaise! (As US Dollar Continues To Trade Under 0.001 BTC)

Coindesk1 today gave the exciting title

"Crypto Traders Flock to Altcoins Amid Bitcoin Price Malaise"

to a mundane piece whose only actual mentions of fiat/Bitcoin interface reported price concerns continued price stability. With the value of the United States dollar continuing to be reported under 0.001 BTC for much of this young year, all malaise seems to be accumulating on the fiat side.


  1. A fake news operation funded by Barry Silbert  

US National Security Advisor Michael Flynn Blackmailed Into Resignation By US "Deep State"

US National Security Advisor Michael Flynn submitted his resignation tonight after being blackmailed by unnamed elements within the "National Security" bureaucracy. An unidentified group or individual with access to wire tapped phone conservations of Flynn's leaked insinuations to the self described press. Flynn erred in his handling of the blackmail by failing to be honest with Vice President Mike Pence. This would constitute the first substantive blow to the Trump administration by the "deep state" bureaucracy, but it had the benefit of removing the least reliable member of Trump's cabinet. Pence in our time.

Resistance Leader's Wife And Stepson Charged After Body Found

A body alleged to belong to Missouri resistance leader Frank Ancona was found in the Big River1 by fishermen according to local press reports. St. Francois County Prosecutor Jarrod Mahurin has filed charges against Ancona's wife and stepson accusing them of murdering the patriarch.


  1. The actual proper name of the body of water and not a euphamism for the legitimately large Missouri or Mississippi Rivers.  

Pennsylvania Prosecutor Declines To Charge Suspects In Home Invasion Shooting

Pennsylvania Attorney General Josh Shapiro has declined to file charges against suspects who confessed to a home invasion where they shot the home owner. The 76 year old shooting victim survived after spending two weeks in the hospital. The victim was shot when two state troopers invaded his home and fired upon him before he could exercise his legally protected right under Pennsylvania's 'Castle Doctrine' law to dispatch the felons invading his home. In Pennsylvania home invasion committed when a residence is occupied is a class one felony. Back in 2013, some culturally superior North Americans south of the Rio Grande formed a vigilante posse and arrested the local police after they killed a beloved local man.