USG.NSA Head Rogers Perjured Self On Eavesdropping

During a hearing on Monday Mike Rogers, head of the USG.NSA testified along side FBI Director James Comey that US President Donald Trump and his team were emphatically not eavesdropped upon. This was followed on Wednesday with the revelation from House Intelligence Committee chair that not only was there tremendous eavesdropping, the traditional redaction and masking of names was not done before the fruits of eavesdropping upon Trump were disseminated to political operatives.

The flensing of the legacy "Deep State" is gaining momentum as Rogers clearly perjured himself while James Comey at the very least violated his duty of candor while testifying.

Armed Guard At German Grocer Kills Man In Saint Louis

Over the weekend an armed guard at a colonial location of the German Grocery giant Aldi killed a customer suspected of shoplifting at an Aldi outpost in North Saint Louis City. The suspect, killed over store branded groceries was pronounced dead at the scene. This shooting follows a Friday meeting between German chancellor Angela Merkel and US President Donald Trump where the two differed on issues of globalization and the meaning of the word bilateral. It is unknown how many US locations of the German Globalization Grocer Aldi employ armed agents to protect their bounty of off brand products.

Hard Freeze Threatens Washington DC Cherry Blossoms With Eradication Tonight

Local weather forecasters are predicting night time temperatures falling to 23 degrees Fahrenheit overnight. Temperatures under 24 degrees Fahrenheit are sufficient to possibly kill this seasons blossom buds on the swamp's beloved cherry trees. Local factions are set to bicker over the meaning of this natural turn with varying factions set to view this as an ominous sign of the God Emperor Trump's looming cuts for the sake of The Great Again or as some climate change circle jerk. Frost happens, per the local department of agriculture March 29th is the local last frost date1 in the swamp.


  1. 50% probability traditionally  

Middlebury Madness Update: Leftist Professor Attacked By Leftist Agitators Hospitalized

Middlebury College Professor Allison Stranger1 has returned to the hospital for treatment related to head and neck injuries sustained escorting a guest speaker through a dangerous crowd of her own fellow leftist Middlebury College students. The professor's husband informed the campus "community" that her classes and office hours would be cancelled while she receives treatment for a potential concussion missed during her initial hospitalization.


  1. Russell J. Leng '60 Professor of International Politics and Economics  

While Leftists Mourn Preet Legacy USG Continues Thrashing

The Dark One, Crusader of Fake JusticeWith Trump firing Preet Bharara after the bureaucrat refused resignation, the fake news media has continued to stretch their mourning for the fake justice crusader's dead career. Preet is likely to lose his position as a focal point of mourning when Trump's budget proposal is revealed later this week.

Other USG swamp relics, this time at the Securities and Exchange commission disapproved a paper Bitcoin instrument which would have allowed certain kinds of restricted US dollars to simulate buying into Bitcoin. The agency's rationale for rejection was that the United States had failed to undermine and capture the Bitcoin market as they had gold. After a few moments of bullish volatility for the US dollar, the altcurrency fell back into it's recent stable groove of 1/1200th to 1/1300th of a Bitcoin.

Choo Choo Motherfuckers: Trump Train Begins Rolling Over Opposition

This week the tracks took the Trump train into active and serious aggression against his opponents for the first time. Here's what happened.

  • One week ago US President Donald Trump alleged that his Trump Tower campaign headquarters had been surveilled under his predecessors orders. This opening move threw his opponents into a tizzy and lead the fake news media to parade former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, FBI director James Comey, and other functionaries of the Deep State to categorically reject that Trump had been surveilled or investigated for any lawful reason. Thus the fake news media refuted their past five months of drumming "Russian Collusion" over a single tweet.1
  • This was followed by the serendipitous Wikileak of substantial CIA information which threatens to gut the agency's leadership and careerist ranks for cause, because accountability is a thing in the Trumpland.
  • House Speaker Paul Ryan's plan to sever Obamacare was unveiled revealing priority GOP congressional targets to purge in the 2018 mid term primaries.
  • The week ended with Trump requesting the resignation of numerous US attorneys appointed by Hussein Bahamas including Preet Bharara.

  1. And further would turn any emergent evidence of Trump Tower surveillance into an ready made criminal case against the snoop.  

US Sportscaster Touts South Korean Victory Over China (The Republic of) in World Baseball Classic, Ignores Actual Losses By People's Republic

Today on St Louis's evening fake news, sportscaster Frank Cusamano of KSDK referred to "Chinese Taipei"1 as China in an aggressive move demeaning the socialist cucks at the People's Republic of China. The People's Republic of China instead lost Thursday's game 11-0 via the "mercy rule" to the Australian national team following a tournament opening 6-0 loss to Cuba. It has yet  to be seen if the embarrassment of owning their losses will be overcome with a statement from the People's Republic admonishing Cusamano for his transgression against the "One China" myth.


  1. Also known as Taiwan or The Republic of China