Texas Struggling To Produce Non-Fouling Bunker Fuel

A supply glut in combination with bottlenecks between fields, refineries, and tankers in the once-independent Republic of Texas, has enticed unknown refineries to blend cheaper (and poorly-characterized) cutter stock into their bunker fuel products to hit viscosity numbers, damaging fuel systems in northwards of thirty vessels in the Gulf region (archived).

No interest has publicly been expressed by oil insiders on the numerous shambling cryptographic provenance solutions in search of prolems and customers; but this has not deterred Team Cockchain ("Smokin' it!" ™®) from announcing eleventeen different projects to disrupt this massive industry from their mothers' basements.

Maduro's Gang In Venezuala Seizes Cereal Plant

Maduro's criminal gang in Venezuala has seized Kellogg's cereal production factories after the carbohydrate giant decided to quit Maduro's ongoing transformation of the petrostate into a Marxist Theocracy (archived). Maduro declared Kellogg's exit "unconsitutional" and proceeded to turn the means of production Kellogg left behind over to "the workers" according to what are surely Maduro's sincerely held religious beliefs.

Venezuala will be holding presidential elections on Sunday.

Venezuela's Education Minister: Eat Less If You Want To See Food In Supermarkets

Venezuela's education minister and former Vice President Elias Jaua blames empty grocery store shelves on his fellow Venezolanos and Venezolanas eating too much (archived). This was accompanied by his declaration that:

Thank God there is a Bolivarian Revolution and our people have a right to eat meat, chicken, milk, that they did not have ten, 14 years ago

Meanwhile the "right to eat" won by the Bolivarian Revolution has resulted in a net drop in Venezuela's per capita human mass of 11 kilograms. This resembles the manner in which Obamacare substantially reduced access to healthcare in the United States.

USG Attacks Softest "Crypto" Target Possible

Today the USG under the name of President Trump announced sanctions against an ICO offering advanced by the Maduro government in Venezuela. Expect substantial wank and declarations of "effectiveness" in the USG's combat against "trade" in this plainly toxic asset no one but the criminal ICO issuers wanted in the first place. Full text below: Continue reading

Theft Today: Djibouti Breaks Contract And Seizes Private Port

The government of Djibouti seized the Doraleh Container Terminal from UAE based DP World. In doing so the theives governing Djibouti unilaterally breached a 30 year contract they entered into with DP World in 2006 allowing the firm to develop the port out of nothing and operate the port as part of their enterprise. Operations at the port began in 2009. (archived)

Maduro Government In Venezuela Attempts ICO

Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro officially launched his own socialist shitcoin, "El Petro" today for pre-sale, and claims that each coin will be backed by a single barrel of oil. Maduro said there will be around 100 million coins total, arbitrarily valued at $6 billion USD which he promises will be "a total success for the welfare of Venezuela.” $38.4 million of that amount were up for grab during today's pre-sale at discount prices in an attempt to lure new investors into his scheme. The ICO was allegedly opened as a counter to crippling economic sanctions, the majority of which are imposed by Maduro's "Ya Socialismo", and El Presidente is hoping that it will provide a new outlet for payments of goods and services in the territory.