Theresa May British PM After No One Else Wants Job Following #Brexit Vote

Later this week censorious Tory Theresa May (WOT :nonperson) will be set to take over as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom following a #Brexit inspired series of abidcations. Theresa May was selected through the incredibly democratic process where a bunch of parliament insiders gathered around and asked each other who wants the job and is registered as a member of the correct party.

During the campaign preceding the #Brexit vote May supported the "Remain" ballot option though this week she changed her position to:

"#Brexit means #Brexit"

May publicly declared however the best time to actually file the UK's would be at the end of this year.

In addition to being a #Brexit opponent May is a supporter of the war on computing. Further her barren womb was a source of ridicule in the posturing contest that lead to her selection. Many in the mainstream anglophone press are already producing fanfic supposing that May and Hillary Rodham-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) will be the next incarnation of the Thatcher-Reagan partnership. This fanfic of course neglects the greater similarity Donald Trump-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) has with Reagan given their common careers as entertainers and spokespersons before entering politics.

Theresa May is unlikely to undertake any measures correcting previous actions on the part of the United Kingdom to regulate itself out of Bitcoin. Sorry for your laws.

Brexit Voting Begins

Residents of Airstrip One are taking to the polls today to determine whether their morbidly ample asses will leave the European Union. Such a move by British voters would strengthen the current German and Ottoman dominance over setting policy for the United States of Europe. Back in 2014 Scotland tried to divorce itself from the Ingoc values imposed by lower Britain, but that ballot initiative failed forcing the Scots to be passive aggressive online. Much of the pro "Brexit" appeal is focused on limiting the influx of immigrants enabled by European open borders arrangements as they are taking jobs from the fatter and less capable Brits.

Ingsoc Victory: Britain's Children Too Fat To Breathe

The Mirror reports that an increasing number of British children have to be placed on mechanical ventilators because they are too fat for their bodies to sustain independent respiration. Respiration is of course an basic activity that a person must undertake in order to sustain life independently, but English socialism1 of course is opposed to the independent living of individual homo sapiens as an organizing principle. Though no spokesperson will likely admit it publicly, the complete dependence of this latest generation of children upon the government's National "Health" Service is an ideological victory for Ingsoc. Hamplanetry, Transmayogenderism, and criminal Obeastiality plague the entire anglophone world the embrace of Ingsoc in the United Kingdom appears to be giving Britain the lead in both their general level of socialist depravity as well as their growth in endemic morbid obesity.

  1. Commonly referred to as Ingsoc  

British Pound Falling

Airstrip One's currency the pound, long detached from the sterling that is frequently mentioned in association with it, has fallen ~2% against the embattled United States dollar in today's trading. This would otherwise not be particularly notable as the pound has been falling against the United States dollar in the seven decades following the Bretton Woods accords, but this latest drop comes amid news that London mayor Boris Johnson have moved support the United Kingdom independence movement which advocates Airstrip One divorcing the failing European Union. Like other fiat powers Airstrip One and its entrenched order have been struggling in the face of Bitcoin's proposition of sound money. Airstrip One has also experienced increasing internal tension with northern portions of the archipelago seeking independence from London.

Darknet Firearms Seller Pleads Guilty

According to WOOD News in Central Michigan, the local United States prosecutor's office managed to hook allege darknet firearms dealer Ben Cance into entering a guilty plea on charges related to international firearms trafficking and money laundering (archived). Prosecutors secured Cance's plea and his cooperation in other investigations by dropping charges of "machine gun possession" against Cance. The Judge allowed Cance's release on bond to continue so he could continue collaborating with prosecutors and inform on his past customers some of which are alleged to be in the United Kingdom and Poland. The 30 year old Cance is set to be sentenced by Judge Robert Holmes Bell on January 15th in the Grand Rapids United States District Court.

Pumpkin Extortion Attempt Squashed

The Daily Mail reports (archive) a 53 year old ex-soldier has been jailed after he attempted to blackmail an elderly pumpkin farmer into paying him £50,0001 in bitcoin. Fearing for his livelihood, farmer David Bowman reported the threat to police and was then instructed by the UK's Foods Standards Agency to plough the field of concern, resulting in the loss of £120,0002 of stock. Continue reading

  1. Approximately $75,000 USD. 

  2. Approximately $182,000 USD. 

British and North Carolina Teens Prosecuted as Child Pornographers in Separate Cases

Two cases on opposite sides of the Atlantic Ocean have garnered attention this week with the common link that both cases involve criminal sanctions being imposed on teenagers under the age of legal majority for having nude images of themselves. In North Carolina two romantically involved 17 year olds faced charges when a search of one's phone lead police to discover their mutual exchange of nude photographs. One of the 17 year olds plead down to a lesser charge while the other still faces multiple charges of child exploitation almost all of them relating to his own self portraits (archived) making him legally the victim  and perpetrator of his own exploitation. Meanwhile in Britain Continue reading

British 'Cultural' Capital Controls Interfere With Commerce

CNN reports that government of the United Kingdom is forbidding a buyer who paid 146,500 pounds formerly known as sterling for a watercolor painting from taking it to his home (archived) outside of Britain. According to the Kingdom's government it hopes that the ban will encourage the buyer, who purchased the piece as the highest bidder at Christie's auction house would make the decision to sell the painting on to a buyer intending to keep the watercolor in the United Kingdom. This is in spite of the fact that no such buyer for the artwork was interested in outbidding the actual purchaser in an auction. The export ban was put into place by Culture Minister Ed Vaizey. Continue reading