Brits Ban TV Ad For Showing Healthy, Human Shaped, Female Model

Over on Airstrip One, a government "Advertising Standards Authority" has banned the continued airing of an advertisement featuring a healthy, athletic, human, and human shaped female with a body mass index of 18.8 by asserting that the size 8 model is "unhealthily underweight" (archived). The hamplanet censor squad cited visible ribs and muscle definition during athletic movements as evidence the 5'10" model was unhealthily underweight during those scenes.

We desperately await the UK's entry of "healthily weighted" athletes into international sporting competitions.

University Of Brighton Takes Ambiguous Position On Program Supporting Coed To Gentlemen Connections

The University of Brighton has taken an ambiguous position on a student sex worker support organization (archived). The organization in question appears to be a sloppy and incomplete implementation of The Gentlement Prefer Coeds Club, while still recognizing that a girl's only 19 once and there's a limited window to extract value from that. The Univeristy is denying that it supports prostitution while saying the organization's existance simply merits "investigation" as an estimated 1 in 6 students derives or has considered deriving income from working their sex.

Brit MMA Fans Cucked By Mammy State Into Watching Pig

British MMA fans tuned in to watch Bellator 206 this morning and were deprived of the opportunity to see the main event when Channel 5 switched off their feed and instead aired "Peppa Pig" (archived). Channel 5 insists they were mandated to make the switch due to Mammy state regulations against airing content with the wrong rating after 6am. The Mammy state governing Airstrip one further requires households with color televisions pay an annual license fee of more than 150 pound no longer sterling for having the ability to view over the air transmissions.

Bellator president Scott Coker announced his intention to prevent this issue in the future, reducing the length of events to accomodate the mammy state.

UK Court Issues No Sanctions Over Gross Violations Of Surveillance Law

In Britain the Investagatory Powers Tribunal has found that MI5 and GCHQ have spent 15 years grossly violating section 94 of the local Telecommunications act through their cable tapping programs (archived). The tribunal's president Michael Burton however found no reason for anything to be done citing a word salad of bureaucratic wank.

Numerous Reports Speculating Ecuador In Negotiations For Imminent Assange Extradition

Numerous reports are suggesting that Eduadorian President LenĂ­n Moreno has entered into negotiations to extradite Julian Assange from the safety of his current residence into the hostile Anglophone territory outside of his embassy suite (archived). Moreno has repeatedly been referring to Assange as "una piedra en el zapato" and had Assange's communication with the outside world restricted earlier this year.

Assange's precarious situation highlights the hazards of trying to interact with fiat states, as just one election has changed the desired foreign policy of his chosen host while his Ecuadorian home is surrounded by an increasingly unstable England.

Johnson Resigns As UK Foreign Secretary Over Impossibility Of May's "Soft" Brexit Effort

Boris Johnson has resigned from Teresa May's British government over the impossibility of implementing and selling May's "soft" Brexit plan (archived). Details of May's "soft" Brexit remain in a constant state of flux with the only constants being the acceptance of punitive sanctions from the European Union without actually escaping the European Union. This development does nothing to make the inevitability of Brexit less likely, but it does indicate a diminished likelyhood Teresa May will be the Prime Minister when Brexit is consumated.

Security Researcher Continuing To Receive New USG Charges For Authoring Popular Code

British researcher Martin Hutchins, who reverse engineered the WCry/WannaCry virus afflicting Windows Machines, is the target of US prosecutorial aggression as the criminal gang in Washinton DC refuses to stop issuing charges against Hutchins for unsolved malware attacks. The case against Hutchins amounts to code in assorted libraries Hutchins contributed to having become popular with malware system integrators due to its quality. Because other people profited from code Hutchins authored in a manner the USG deems criminal, they have decided to hang him.

Beyond the obvious pressure the USG is trying to exert corralling independent security researchers to subscribe to their own "irresponsible disclosure" schemes, the US prosecutorial strategy is strongly incentivizing everyone who produces code which might eventually be used in malware to make the jump and profit from exploits in the shitstack themselves.