Ecuador To Recieve 4.2 Billion USD IMF "Extended Fund Facility" (Coincidentally British Police Managed To Arrest Former Ecuador Embassy Resident Julian Assange Inside Embassy)

Ecuador has ended their asylum for Anglophone dissident Julian Assange after nearly seven years of providing the rebel sanctuary in their London Embassy (archived). In what is surely completely unrelated development the US directed International Monetary Foundation has approved a 4.2 billion USD "Extended Fund Facility" to provide (archived):

support for the Ecuadorean government’s economic policies over the next three years.

The deal allowed the immediate disbursment of 652 million USD to the government of Ecuador when it was announced in March. Following Assange's arrest inside the Embassy on a five year old British process warrant the US published an indictment of Assange. This was quite the bounty to be paid for a single head by an increasingly poor US.

English Judge: "I Cannot Think Of Any More Obviously Fundamental Human Right Than The Right Of A Man To Have Sex With His Wife"

In a British case where social service officials decided that one man's ambiguously cognitively impaired wife might not be able to consent following an unspecified decline in her condition and thusly the two shouldn't be able to ever fuck again according to social work law, presiding Judge Justice Hayden declined the social worker's request to issue a preliminary court order barring marital sex (archived). In a decision outraging the social work lobby the Honorable Justice Hayden instead is insisting on hearing evidence and legal arguments before any orders are imposed by the court.

In a three way showdown Hayden will be hearing arguments from lawyers representing the husband, the wife, and the local council's meddling social workers.

Not Much Brexiting On Brexit Day As Brits Still Wanking Over How To Brexit

With Brexit Day winding to a close the Brits are still wanking over how exactly to Brexit with Parliament voting "no" leaving with a deal and leaving without a deal. Theresa May is calling for a fourth vote on her "soft Brexit" deal thrice rejected in parliament next week, should her government survive that long. Once again modern democracy inteprets a simple proposition, in this case "leave the EU", as anything but the actual fucking words.

British Soldier Faces Charges Over Friendly Fire In Video Game Exercise

A British soldier assigned to 3rd Battalion, the Rifles faces charges after allegely opening fire on friendlies during a video game training exercise (archived). The soldiers had allegedly been spending weeks in front of laptops working on drills in a video game environment deprived of fresh air and the physical exercise that comes from doing field exercises in the field. Eventually one member of the unit snapped and began engaging in Grand Theft Auto style freeplay on the British military co-op training server. The rifleman was reprimanded after the "exercise" and has been charged with disobeying orders.

Local Rag: Britain Just Leaving Their Undersea Cable Landing Sites Open And Unguarded

According to the Daily Mail, the landing point for the British side of a cable providing connectivity to North America is pretty much unguarded and the gate was even open when they took pictures (archived). They report the Hibernia express is 6 milliseconds faster than other routes connecting London and New York. Whether the piece is an honest expose of lax security standards or bait to draw attacks in the manner of FBI "Death Ray" plots is uncertain at this time.

Clicking On "Terrorist Content" Felonized In Airstrip One

"Royal" assent was given to a "Counter terrorism and border security" bill that purports to make viewing "terrorist content", including this very article, a criminal offense (archived). Per the "law", having clicked on a link to "terrorist" content is sufficient to begin accumulating transgressions against the crown leading up to a hypothetical 15 years in prison.

British Mum Arrested At Home For Gendering Fellow Online

A 38 year old British mother was arrested at home in front of her children before going through the standard British intake procedure surrendering fingerprints, DNA, and a photograph after referring to a man in an online forum by his God given sex and the name his parents gave him (archived). Because the man chooses to larp about the world as a woman, Airstrip One's agents of violence decided her posting was a transgression against the Crown, a Crown which long abdicated its old position of sovereignty over their former colonies' European forward operating base.

In other news, the man who had the entirety of his hand below the wrist taken from him by Macronist forces over the weekend was a plumber (archived).

British Broadcasting Corporation Now Publishing Articles In Language They Describe Only As "Pidgin"

It has come to attention that the BBC, a Royal Chartered and tax funded broadcaster in Airstrip One, is now publishing articles online in a language they describe only as "pidgin" (archived). Nevermind that "pidgin" means not any particular language, but a type of simplified intermediate language stuck between two or more grown up languages. Consider the top "De one we dem de read well well" story on today's BBC pidgin page, for which they advertise a September 6th, 2017 publication (archived):1

Woman wan troway poo-poo, come trap for window

Woman wey take her hand, pack her poo-poo comot di toilet of man wey she dey friend because "e no gree flush" enter trouble, after she go try collect di poo-poo back.

The woman wey dey learn gymnastics, just start to waka with Bristol student, Liam Smith, for di first time, when she take fear troway di poo-poo comot for window.

Instead make di thing land for garden, di poo-poo come jam between two windows wey no dey open wide.

Di lady decide to carry her thing back; she use head enter the small space wey di poo-poo bin dey, but na so she come trap for there, and trouble start.

Mr Smith say im no get choice but to call fire service make dem help remove di girl, along with her poo-poo.

Now, im don dey try raise money to repair di windows wey break, so e write all di tori for inside one University of Bristol crowd funding page.

And on it goes. Observe some headlines:

  • Anglophone crisis: Gunshots, killings, car burning, as separatists force ‘lockdown’ for pipo
  • Tiger nut drink fit wake up your sex drive – Nutritionist
  • Anoda woman don die afta 'Brazilian bum-bum' to add extra ikebe
  • 'We fit vote wrong party on election day'
  • Ghana Foreign Ministry remove Mahatma Gandhi statue from University campus afta protests say he be 'racist'
  • Ambulances no dey, yet you wan use $12 million for medical drones – Minority blast Ghana gov't
  • Yaba #MarketMarch to stop touch-touch make us almost chop beating – Organizer
  • Sexual Harassment: Yaba market march to stop touch-touch make us almost chop beating – Organizer

The last two headlines suggest this particular pidgin is a rather squishy thing. The editors want to press a line in a way that's understood while also forcing their preferred buzzword into the pidgin as it continues to develop. Further analysis of this Royally Chartered "BBC Pidgin" discovered in the wild is left to the bloggers.


  1. A rather damning indictment of traffic for BBC Pidgin stories  

Bolton Watch: Bank Of England Takes ~31 Tons Of Venezuelan Gold, US "Greatest Ally" Israel Joins Regime Change Push, Frances Macron Refuses Popular Demands For New Elections

Over the weekend the Bank of England revealed their willingness to extend Airstrip One's domestic mammy state policies to foreign reserve deposits places in their trust by explicitly denying the Venezuelan government's right to retrieve their gold (archived). Venezuela under Maduro's leadership has been attempting to repatriate their foreign gold reserves in spite of obstruction by Airstrip One in the leadup to the US regime change effort going live.

Meanwhile Israel, "Greatest Ally" of the USG decided on Sunday to support the USG line on Venezuela days later than the rest of USG's dwindling allies (archived).

Finally over the weekend Yellow Jacket protesters convened for the 11th consecutive weekend. Numerous French casualties were suffered at the hands of Macron's forces including a protest leader whose eye was taken from him (archived). The despot Macron has lauded foreign meddling in Venezuela's democracy, demanding the Maduro's recent election be invalidated while his own Presidential term be sustained in spite of widespread French opposition to his policies and his person.