Tensions Rise This Week As Fake News Media Badgers God Emperors

The fake news media has spent this past week stoking tensions between the God Emperors Kim Jung Un of the Democratic People's Republic of Best Korea and Donald Trump of the United States. Where Trump's predecessors Clinton I, Bush II, and the Manchurian Candidate have responded to routine North Korean diplomatic missives by becoming the Kim Family regime's weird girlfriend, Trump instead responded with 14 words:1

They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen.

The fake news media has responded to the co-existence of God Emperor of Best Korea Kim and God Emperor of the United States2 Trump by suddenly going back and reporting on all of the progress North Korea has made in the field of nuclear weapons since they successfully detonated their first during the Bush II presidency. Progress made by Best Korea on warhead miniaturization and missile embiggenation over a decade during the Manchurian Candidate's 8 years as president has been dumped in to the US popular news cycle all at once.

There is substantial uncertainty in how the clash of the God Emperors will resolve. The Democratic People's Republic of Best Korea's Kim, enabled by the Manchurian Candidate's tenure as President of the United States of Best Korea, now actually has the nuclear deterrent that Saddam, Ghaddafi, and other members of the international community targeted for Arkencide by Hillary Rodham-Clinton lacked.

With the non-zero chance "nuclear deterrent" theory gets put to the test, it may be prudent to stockpile enough NAND flash memory to satisfy anticipated needs for quite some time, as most of it is produced within range of Best Korea's conventional artillery batteries.


  1. These are not to be confused with those other 14 words:

    We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children.

     

  2. The abbreviation GEOTUS is gaining traction in mass market publications.  

A List Of Known Bitcoin Ransom Cases

2017-07-01 – India – "Ransom demand made in Bitcoins, six in police net" – The kidnappers released Jain after six days. It is unclear if his family members paid the ransom. The police are tight-lipped on the matter.

2017-05-01 – Brazil – "Woman in Brazil rescued after kidnappers demanded bitcoin ransom payment" – The 32-year-old wife of a Brazilian "Bitcoin businessman" has been rescued by local police after she was grabbed by kidnappers who demanded a ransom be paid in Bitcoin.

2017-04-27 – Israel – "Israeli-American teen arrested over Australian school bomb hoax calls" – Media reports say he had almost $US500,000 in his Bitcoin account at the time of his arrest, some purportedly coming from students who wanted exams postponed.

2016-10-04 – United Kingdom – "Simon Cowell, Lord Sugar and Kate Moss 'were on hitlist drawn up by killer who tortured antiques dealer into handing over Wind in the Willows book." – Having killed one guy, perp then emailed VC Adrian Beecroft demanding 200 Bitcoin telling him I know where your daughter goes to school.

2015-10-29 – Taiwan – "I thought I was going to die!" – The kidnappers had threatened to dig out the eyeballs or chop off the legs of the Pearl Oriental Oil chairman known as Wong Yuk-kwan if his family did not pay a HK$70 million ransom in Bitcoin.

2015-09-26 – United Kingdom"Give me 50,000 or I'll poison your pumpkins! What Bitcoin blackmailer told farmer who produces half the UK's supply." – David Bowman feared his livelihood would be destroyed after he was blackmailed by a former soldier who threatened to poison his entire crop with cyanide.

2015-01-30 – United States – "Police Alert Residents To Bitcoin Extortion Scam" – Farmington Police say a demand for $2,000 in Bitcoin comes in the mail, threatening the addressee and his or her family. It claims to know their address, schedule, and how to kill them, undetected.

2015-01-20 – Costa Rica – "Following alleged kidnapping, Canadian expat recovering at Costa Rica home, says attorney" – The alleged kidnappers had demanded nearly half a million dollars in the crypto currency Bitcoin.

Naturally, it's possible that these kidnappings and failed attempts to extort a Bitcoin ransom as reported by the media are inaccurate or fabrications (clickbait), but it seems just as likely such acts are occurring and likely to grow as the demand for Bitcoin grows. It's also possible that successful attempts to garner a Bitcoin ransom go unreported by media, police and government as well as the victims.

Coinbase Begins Trading Vacation With "Your" Coins Early

Mtgox Coinbase employees have started their planned trading vacation this weekend instead of waiting for their intended start date of just before August 1st. Mtgox Coinbase has posted a cryptic status message stating that their withdrawals may be "delayed by up to 12+ hours" (archived). The notation "+" signifies an indefinite addition to the number that precedes it, and for this reason we are deeply Sorry For Your Loss.

Trump Makes Small Cut To Military Healthcare Spending And Makes Jeff Sessions Great Again

Today United States President Donald Trump captured headlines by making a rare medical condition a disqualifier for military service in the United States, as many other medical conditions already are. This relieves the Department of Defense from having to assume the substantial surgical and psychiatric care costs the US medical establishment has come to accept as standard for this condition. Various lamestream news outlets have offered different four and five figure numbers of currently serving military personnel standing to be affected by this policy change.

In other events, Trump has managed to make Attorney General Jeff Sessions great again. Following more minutia supposedly exposed in the Russian collusion witch hunt, Trump appears to have ceased conferring with his Attorney General in private and begun communicating suggestions to his top law enforcement official exclusively through the media. In less than one week Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III has gone from the fake news industrial complex's whipping boy, a caricature of the "evil" Southern gentleman, to enjoying fawning fake news coverage as a beleaguered and sympathetic Southern gentleman.

Only muted coverage in the fake news media has been given to the fact that since this change in communications channels, Attorney General Sessions appears to have been faithfully pursuing every instruction delivered to him by President Trump. Where the fake news media is reading animosity between the two, reality seems to be showing a very strong, public1 working relationship. As a bonus, the new structure of this relationship is bound to complicate the ongoing "Russian collusion" fanfic being authored by Jeff Bezos' Amazon Washington Post.


  1. When has any other US President been as transparent in communicating with his Attorney General?  

BTC-E Down Owner Appears Headed For USG "Coke Machine" Treatment As Fiatist Thefts Continue

Long time semi-independent fiat/Bitcoin interface BTC-E has gone down with its apparent operator captured by USG and Greek pederast forces. The Stasi's press representatives are alleging that BTC-E laundered 4 billion United States dollars since 2011, this is in spite of BTC-E trading multiple tokens in addition to Bitcoin with one of the most volatile being the United States dollar. This suggests the Stasi pulled the 4 Billion dollar figure out of someone's ass to defend their favored scamcoin's honor.

This move follows the death earlier this month of Alexandre Cazes, the alleged proprietor of AlphaBay, who appears to have been killed by one of the Stasi's attempts to capture Bitcoin value via the "coke machine" method. Perhaps the Stasi feels that partnering with the Greek pederasts, with their legendary Hellenic loving touch, might give this latest captive enough life to spit out the private keys.

The fiatists continue thrashing.

A Quick FAQ About The Not Bitcoin fork "Bitcoin Cash"

Q: Is "Bitcoin Cash" Bitcoin?

A: No

Q: What does Roger Ver presents "Bitcoin.com"'s backing mean?

A: It's even more likely to fail in the vein of XTCoin, ClassicCoin, and Unlimited Spam Coin which were all Roger Ver-ified scams. The "Roger Ver-ified" endorsement is a leper's mark.

Q: But "Bitcoin Cash" futures appear to be trading very high? How could this be?

A: Wash trading. No one with any money that counts is sending it to the only malarial (falciparum) "exchange" trading such an instrument.

Q: Why did they use Wix.com to build a website?

A: Probably because their television viewing overlaps with the middle aged woman "small businessing" demographic that Wix.com advertises to. Also they pre-emptively hate their users.

Q: Are you sorry?

A: Only for your loss.

Miners Signal Segwit Via BIP 91 "Lock In" Avoiding "User Activated" Fork

Miners on the Bitcoin network signaled that they would begin enforcing a new set of block acceptance rules concerning the handling of "anyone can spend" transactions, commonly referred to as "Segregated Witness". For users of the actual Bitcoin system and actual Bitcoin software, this news comes with the usual "soft fork" related increase in the risk of chainsplits and orphaned blocks. For users engaging in fringe behavior on the Bitcoin network and seeking to abuse the new "rules" surrounding the "anyone can spend" edge case, there exists incredible potential1 for "your loss".

This move by Bitcoin miners circumvents an effort advanced by assorted social engineers to attempt enforcing this new "anyone can spend" ruleset through a loud tantrum. It remains to be seen how large a pile of coins the brave and the duped are willing to amass under "anyone can spend" conditions in order to tempt miners to abandon this new "soft forked" ruleset.


  1. From Qntra, December 28th, 2015

    The chief idiocy in the Blockstream camp is that if miners decide to stop enforcing the "soft" forks that Blockstream needs, the miners are somehow on "invalid" chains. Soft fork enforcement is nothing more than a courtesy extended by miners. Should miners trigger activation of segregated witness, and a super majority of miners later decide to stop enforcing its rule set, Blockstream is out of luck. Luke-Jr's protests about the "valid" blockchain would be as impotent as his protests about the valid Pope. So long as the longest chain that wins verifies on the actual reference Bitcoin client, life goes on.

    There are hazards to artificially trying to introduce new levels of trust to a system that doesn't require it. Softforks that explicitly create an incentive for their own revocation create an extraordinary moral hazard

     

Trump Issues Ultimatum To GOP Senators: Start Selling!

This week, following yet another failure by legacy legislative members of the GOP to end Obamacare, United States President Donald Trump summoned GOP members of the Senate1 to a luncheon where he issued them an ultimatum. They must begin selling! President Trump even singled out a Nevada Senator, Doubting Dean Heller, and challenged Heller on his presumed desire to remain a Senator (archived). Only eight of the thirty three US Senate seats being contested in the 2018 mid term election are currently held by the GOP. This places non-compliant, legacy, GOP Senators like Doubting Dean vulnerable to challengers during this coming spring's primary season as Trump's GOP moves towards greater purity and ability.

The luncheon's lesson is that in Trump's GOP, faith without works is now dead. Private professions of faith and muted announcements supporting the cause are no longer enough. GOP legislators must begin the work of selling the Trumpreich's agenda or they will be purged as the party resolves its schisms. Eight years of Hussein Bahamas, where the GOP existed as a hollow and lazy opposition party doing little other than serving to legitimize pantsuit's pretensions of purpose, allowed Trump to capture the party. Now that Trump has the GOP, he will have his way with the GOP.


  1. Minus the lich John McCain who has been revealed to have aggressive brain cancer. Presumably McCain has failed to maintain personal possession of his phylactery.