Shinohai's Shitcoin Roundup Xtend: Bitfinex's Token Addiction, Transaction "Acceleration", and itBit Rounding Bug

Bitfinex, hoping to offer it's userbase more scam tokens to choose from, added cryptocurrency Dash back to it's roster against USD and BTC trading pairs. Bitfinex added the coin in 2014, only to remove it in August of the following year due to low trade volumes. Dash rose to the #3 spot on coinmarketcap.com with a nearly $300 million USD market cap, though price was down -9.04% in the past 24 hours of trading.

BTC.com mining pool, advocates of the Bitcoin Unlimited fork, started offering a new service that allows users to "accelerate" their transactions on the network by paying a fee using a credit card. Pools mining with the Unlimited software claim that blocks are "full" and that an unsafe hard fork is necessary while consistently mining empty blocks.

A hacker known as 4lemon discovered a flaw on itBit exchange that allowed users to send funds that didn't exist from one account to another due to a rounding bug. The user demonstrated he could send 0.000000005 XBT (Less than the trade minimum of 0.00000001) without triggering any sort of error in itBit's trade engine, resulting in SFYL.

Haoles At Coinbase Bail On Hawaii

The Haoles at Coinbase announced earlier today that they will be suspending operations in the state of Hawaii indefinitely. An email sent to customers in the Aloha state informed them that "The Hawaii Division of Financial Institutions has recently communicated regulatory policies which will render continued Coinbase operations in Hawaii impractical. " Customers are being given the usual 30 day period to either transfer "their" Bitcoin to another address, or sell for fiat using the company's exchange. No word was available if or when services would resume there in the future. Sorry for your laws

Trump Issues Ultimatum To GOP: Obamacare Must Die Before Tax Reform

Today addressing a gathering of governors, United States President Donald Trump issued an ultimatum that they repeal or replacement Obamacare must come before any tax reform proposals will be considered. This cutting ultimatum comes as congressional members of the party he saved have been the rate limiting factor slowing President Trump's agenda of summoning The Great Again.

Major US Socialist Party Experiences First Contested Chair Contest In Decades As Internal Divisions Grow

Tom Perez (WOT:nonperson) won the first contested race for the chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee becoming the defacto boss of the party of losing. Perez, a former secretary of labor, represents the Hillary Rodham-Clinton establishment human trafficking wing of the part which recently lost everything, and he defeated Keith Ellison of the Bernie Sanders, Granola, and voluntary human extinction wing of the party. Meanwhile Trump reigns, praise be upon him.

Hussein Bahamas To Vacation Closer To Kenya?

The doe-eyed founders of the Obama '17 Campaign for French President recently admitted to MSM that

It's definitely a joke. But it could make people think a little bit about what we could do differently in French politics.

Unsatisfied with the impending La Penmanship and the inevitable conclusion of the Nth Republique,1 this founding band of 30-something "creatives" don't appear to appreciate that Bahamas deported more people from his country and was at war longer than any other previous US President, all while greatly increasing the tax burden and doubling the national debt. Evidently, ostriches believing in the "Scandal-Free Presidency" mythology aren't unknown in the Paris area, as evidenced by the claim that

I think the whole world would love to have him as president

#pasvraiment but that hasn't stopped the increasing use of #ouionpeut.


  1. Not to mention eager to relive the glory days when foreign rulers oversaw the French / Gaulish provinces, whether that was Julius Caesar, Henry V, Henry VI, or Napolean.  

Fire In The Security Theater: Cloudflare Leaks As SHA1 Broken

Two honored pillars of the "cyber" security theater were lost recently in a fire.

Sorry for your loss.

Dream Market (Yet another Darknet Market) Accounts Compromised

A reddit user named Skillzythehacker has claimed to have compromised thousands of accounts on Dream Market, though market administrators said no Bitcoin were at risk. The attacker said of all the compromised accounts, none were using 2FA, a supposed panacea for login security issues.

Dream market admin wombat2combat released the following message:

- -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

The user /u/Skillzythehacker sent the mods of /r/Darknetmarkets a list of over 
50 login credentials [names and passwords] for dream market accounts.

After looking at them more closely we can verifiy that they are working and the
accounts are pretty old because their user IDs are between about 100k and 500k
while the latest ones [when registering a new account] are higher than 700k.

It is therefore very likely that these login credentials were obtained through a
database breach/hack.

There were already made some changes to the current dream market warnings and 
this issue will be added to them too.
- -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
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=b1Lf
- -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

The attacker is said to have provided proof he could log into various accounts, leading users to speculate that user info was stored with weak or no encryption. (archived)

It's Not Rape If Her Uterus Meanwhile Absorbed It

Novel legal theory unveiled (in a whitepaper, of course) by obscure scamcoin Zcoin's own Reuben Yak earlier today explains that even through "an unknown party" made away with anywhere between 410% and ∞% of the marketable value of the whole shebang nevertheless it's all good because of the market having absorbed the damage or in other words because the damage was mostly absorbed by the markets.

Sorry for your rights, priviledges, sanity and loss, in some order that was already absorbed by this text.

McDonald's Exposes Nuts After Hiatus

Exposed nuts are again to be seen around McDonald's restaurants worldwide, as the company reverses an order that required peanuts and nuts to be served in individually wrapped containers. The move is a blow to sufferers of persons with nut allergies who had long benefited from the policy. A statement from the company said "All products available at our restaurants may contain or come into contact with peanuts, tree nuts or other allergens".

McDonald's employees worldwide are now free to liberally sprinkle nuts on any dessert, although a local franchise assured me they plan to keep their nuts wrapped for the time being.

Coindesk: Bitcoin Price Malaise! (As US Dollar Continues To Trade Under 0.001 BTC)

Coindesk1 today gave the exciting title

"Crypto Traders Flock to Altcoins Amid Bitcoin Price Malaise"

to a mundane piece whose only actual mentions of fiat/Bitcoin interface reported price concerns continued price stability. With the value of the United States dollar continuing to be reported under 0.001 BTC for much of this young year, all malaise seems to be accumulating on the fiat side.


  1. A fake news operation funded by Barry Silbert