mETH huffers, who have been anxiously awaiting an event they dub "The Flippening" (Where the Ethereum fiat market cap surpasses that of Bitcoin), instead were treated to visions of "The Poofening" on Wednesday afternoon when the price of Ethereum flash-crashed down to $13. The price recovered to previous levels shortly afterward, thanks to the efforts of seedy exchanges such as GDAX plugging the holes of the sinking ship by suddenly making signing in to their exchange impossible. Reddit tears likely flow freely tonight with one user reporting a SFYL on GDAX when $10k USD worth of ETH was sold at $16. Ethereum still struggles to not implode under the weight of DDoS attacks to its network owing to the uptick of ICO scams using the platform of late.
Today marks one year since the devastating hack of "The DAO" and led to Ethereum being split into two competing tire fires. Despite the event providing ample warning of what happens when one listens to serial scammers, this hasn't stopped excitable monkeys from continuing to delude themselves and others in a vain effort to build what they believe is "unstoppable code" on the remains of the platform, biding their time until Pope Butt-Erin and the Ethereum Foundation hit the rewind button and inject more Sorry For Your Loss into the mix.
Today Jeff Bezos' Amazon announced that they would be acquiring the 450 store grocery chain "Whole Foods" in a move that would give the start up a brick and mortar footprint. Previous attempts by Amazon to grow their own brick and mortar presence have highlighted structural problems in the way Amazon grows when left to its own devices.
The 42 US dollar per share price is a 27% premium over Whole Food's closing share price of 33.06 US dollars yesterday. This aggressive move into the low margin grocery business comes as Jeff Bezos is seeking a public bailout over an earlier misadventures in the higher margin education business.
Following the fake news media and pant suit party's success yesterday in inciting a mentally unstable Belleville man to political violence, they tried to divert attention from their incitement. As a distraction they are alleging that elected US President Donald Trump is being investigated for the fake crime of "obstruction of justice".1
Meanwhile former FBI director and Special Counsel Robert Mueller has yet to recuse himself from investigating matters related to his protege and rumored lover James Comey. Recent polling of voters from "our democracy" shows strong support for prosecuting Comey over leaking information he alleges was gathered in his official capacity as an officer of the United States Government (archived).
In the general case, this is a fake crime in the sense that the intersection of actual justice and activities undertaken by agents of the evil empire is nil. In this particular case, two parties to a private conversation are disputing a portion of the conversation's content. In the months since the disputed conversation there has been no sign of a dispute until one party was fired by the better party. ↩
Chucky Lee (WOT:coblee)), best known as the chief forking officer of Litecoin, has quit his position at Coinbase to focus on altcorn development. During his tenure at Coinbase, customers complained of frequent outages and degraded performance, events which often conveniently coincided with swings in US dollar price against the Bitcoin standard. Coinbase is alleged to value itself at an incredible Billion fiat dollars, and claims to have coerced 7.7 million customers into using the platform. The news of Lee's resignation comes on the heels of Coinbase/GDAX seeking $100 million US dollars in venture capital funding for further development, which users ought to hope1 will be used to make the site run for more than a week without crashing.
likely in vain ↩
The Bancor network, billed as a protocol for creating smart tokens using smart contracts on the Ethereum database was forced to alter the terms of its "initial coin offering" "due to massive malicious attacks on network & resulting pending transaction bottleneck". First thought by Ether huffers to be due to a bad actor attempting to prevent the "initial coin offering" from taking place, it was later discovered that transactions to the Bancor "smart" contract address itself was causing the DDoS attack on the network. During the course of the attack it was revealed that despite an advertised cap on the number of tokens proffered in the crowdsale, the contract owners could create new tokens at any time they liked at no additional cost. Despite the signs pointing to impending disaster and a possible repeat of history, the creators managed to capture over $150 million US dollars in the first 3 hours of the crowdsale.
Alleged NSA contractor Reality Winner (WOT:nonperson) has been arrested under the law James Comey refused to prosecute Hillary Rodham Clinton for, because zhe leaked to Omidyar's The Intercept. Shortly after Winner's leaked document was published by the Intercept, Winner was arrested. Yellow "anti-counterfeiting" dots from the printer where Winner produced the document were preserved in the the version published by The Intercept allowing Winner to be arrested with a clear chain of evidence preserved by the manner of publication.
When leaking please don't immediately turn around and leak back to the the enemy's own agents.
Numerous fake news outlets are celebrating the decision by many mayors, dog catchers, and other local officials to undermine United States foreign policy by negotiating their way back into the Paris Climate Honda Accord in violation of the 1799 Logan Act. The Logan Act is one of many laws the elected Trump administration was spuriously accused of violating while they did the work of preparing to govern according to the wishes of the citizens that had elected them.
Tensions are clearly increasing in the US Cold Civil War with the Federal Government changing hands since the Oregon liberation began 18 months ago. It remains to be seen how far the rebellious mayors will take their foreign collaboration, and whether they might treasonously assist foreign "regime change" efforts initiated by Paris Honda Accord by signatories like the Democratic People's Republic of Korea and Angela Merkel presents The Weimar Republic.
The Democratic National Committee, governing body of the United States division of the Pantsuit Party, has turned on Pantsuit namesake and 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Rodham-Clinton. This reversal comes as the Party committee has joined the myriad of non-Clitler entities Clitler is blaming for her electoral loss. During the run up to the election then candidate Hillary Rodham-Clinton limited her personal involvement in campaign activities to 2-3 days per week and on several occasions took entire weeks off from the campaign trail in the stretch between the primary and general elections. Make Great, Great Again!
US President Donald Trump opened the month of June by taking the United States out of the Paris Honda "Climate" Accord. Absent from the wailing and protest over Trump's decision by the Pantsuit Party and their fake news organs has been any mention of specific terms of the accord being quit. Coverage has been limited to "oh noes, muh environment". Once again while Trump has moved the United States a smidge closer to The Great Again, The Most Serene Republic has already gone further.