Onboard SSD Crypto Demonstrated To Be Homeopathic On Numerous Drives

Researchers at the Netherland's Radboud University, total enrollment 19,904 students, have confirmed the safe assumption that the onboard encryption offered by a number of SSD makers is indeed homeopathic and useless (archived). They describe what they refer to as a "pattern of critical issues" which allow them the freedom to read nominally encrypted volumes on a number of Crucial and Samsung drive models. Users of Microsoft Window's "Bitlocker" drive encryption are especially vulnerable since "Bitlocker" trusts onboard SSD encryption engines and will forgo applying its own software encryption when an SSD offers to do the encrypting. The "Make Security Theatre Again" movement is alive and well with mainstream hardware and software vendors.

India Rolls Out Nuclear Ballistic Missile Submarine

Today Indian announced the successful completion of the first patrol by their INS Arihant, a 6000 ton ballistic nuclear missile submarine (archived). India joins the US, Russia, UK, France, China, Pakistan, and probably Israel* as the 8th, or maybe 7th active operator of a nuclear triad composed of land, air, and sea based nuclear weapons deployment platforms.

Another Intel CPU Sidechannel Leak Documented With The Leak Dependent Once Again On A Thing Intel Did To Boost Appearance Of Speed

Another issue with Intel CPUs has been documented demonstrating the things are leaking bits from what Intel's marketing labels "secure" parts of CPU cores through a sidechannel made available via the simultanuous multi threading gimmick Intel's marketers labeled "hyperthreading" (archived). This has not been a good year for the accumulated gimmicks Intel has been tossing in their chips to simulate speed.

This vulnerability has been dubbed "Portsmash" as the continued accretion of trendy names for these things shows no signs of stopping.

FBI Brings In Their Bomb Hoax Patsy: Florida Man

The US FBI has recalled a Patsy in their bomb hoax "investigation" arresting the notorious East Coast villain Florida Man. In this incarnation of the meme, Florida man is a 56 year old white male with a white van and a history of prior arrests for making "terroristic threats" (archived).

#NotBombs Culprit Still At Large, FBI Still Prime Suspect

The wave of non-explosive devices addressed to loud Pantsuitists continues. Neither causalties, nor any danger of casualites has been presented. The US Federal Bureau of Investigation still leads the list of suspects, and notably this story appears to be less dominant in the mainstream pantsuit news than their hysteric fits preceeding US Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation were. The only serious question now is which Pantsuit might end up taking one for the team to give this hoax credibility via casualties.

Media Force "Bomb" Identity On To Harmless Packages In Attempt To Foment Hysteria

In the last 48 hours a number of famous Pantsuitist party figures in the United States have had packages address to them seized in transit, with the notable exception of the first which was allegedly located in George Soros's New York mailbox at a time the noted terrorist happened to be away from "home" for an extended period. These packages are egregiously being misgendered as "bombs" by pantsuit media in spite of an apparent incapacity on the part of the packages to explode.

The Pantsuit press has begun hyping this phenomenon under the hashtag #MAGABomber and attributing the phenomenon to US President Donald Trump. This is as the Pantsuit political left in the United States has been issuing increasingly loud demands for political violence for more than two years. Purported photos of the packages being misgendered as "bombs" floating around on social media and US media organs completely lack any markings indicating they had been processed by the US postal service. This, once again, is in spite of many of them being "intercepted" in sorting facilities.

US President Donald Trump has already issued a statement from his podium calling for civility and condemning violence, a stark contrast to the Pantsuitists seeking to blame him for "the incivility" while themselves promoting violence and celebrating incivility.

It seems indisputable that the perpetrator or perpetrators behind this hoax hopes to influence the outcome of the local US midterm election which is set to provide a "Red Wave" cementing Trump's control over the legislature. It is also clear that the perpetrator(s) either intended no harm to the package recipients or is functionally retarded. In light of the scant facts, there are two very probable hypothesis for the packages being mailed:

  1. Pantsuit loyalist "law enforcement professionals" of the well documented sort that tried and failed to prevent the election of US President Donald Trump and have since tried and failed to delegitimize his presidency did it. Using the package in Soros mailbox or another pretext1 to enter postal service facilities, more harmless packages were inserted into the mail processing stream.
  2. The FBI, as they are known to do, cultivated a stupid and socially inept fellow to carry out what the fellow thought was an actual terror plot at the FBI's encouragement. In this scenario the fellow's handlers took the opportunity to use this fellow for their own political purposes. Normally they would just swoop in to claim credit for arresting they terrorist they created.

With the low amount of information available at this time, it could as well be some combination of one and two involving a left wing activist group. Or something else. Given what has happened in Britain over the past year, the biggest surprise might be that they didn't just sacrifice one of the lower ranked leftist stooges in an nerve agent hoax to revive the "Russian Bot" narrative.


  1. War on Drugs  

US Firm "Facebook" Interfering In Brazil's Presidential Election

Whatsapp, a division of Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook, has banned numerous users in Brazil including Presidential frontrunner Jair Bolsonaro's son in an effort to reduce the number of messages promoting Bolsonaro's campaign on Zuckerberg's US based platform (archived). With the presidential election less than a week away, this is exactly Facebook meddling in a foreign election to favor one candidate over the other.

Considering Facebook's ongoing cooperation with the US Government, it would make all of the sense in the world for Brazil's outgoing Temer administration to strike Facebook and the United States with sanctions.

Tech "Press" Touting Latest Google Fritz Chip

Adulation in the Pantsuited tech press is making the rounds for Google's latest Fritz chip, The Titan M (archived). Implanted into their latest pnoHes, the Titan M is designed to frustrate and arrest any attempt by device purchasers to own their devices. An investigation of Google's CR50, their netbook Fritz chip painted a dire picture for anyone hoping to own hardware made for Google.

9 "Proud Boys" Charged By NYPD After Being Ambushed By Antifa NPC Mob

Following a GOP event in Manhattan, 9 members of Vice media founder Gavin McInnes's "Proud Boys" alt-Right fan club are facing assault charges after they were ambushed leaving the event (archived). The NYPD provided and enforced seperate egress paths from the event for Antifa NPC mobs and other parties in attendance. Six antifa aggressors doubled back along the other route after exiting the high density police zone waylaying the group of 9 Proud Boys, impeding their travel, and initating violence. The Proud Boys successfully defended themselves in the encounter.

Pantsuit media raised hell framing the event as a "white supremacist" attack on the part of the largely hispanic group of Proud Boys leading to arrests, charges, and what will surely be a very expensive ordeal for New York Pantsuits. Members of the defeated Antifa NPC Mob are not cooperating with police for reasons.