Fake News Interest In Jewish Center Safety Drops Precipitously After Arrest Of Second Suspect

When threats to Jewish community centers continued after the arrest of leftist fake newsman Juan Thompson, the fake news media drummed up fear of a fake white supremacist bogeyman behind continued threats. A second arrest however has entirely killed leftist enthusiasm for continuing to cover the subject. A young Israeli Jew was arrested earlier this week for what appears to be making all of the threats not made by Juan Thompson. On the day of the arrest a token amount coverage was given to the public defender assigned to the suspect. Notably, the court appointed attorney is arguing the arrested party is not criminally culpable due to mental defect.

Instead the fake news media has redirected their effort into doubling down on their assertion that "America First" is a Russian slogan that supports German National Socialism. This continues showing how the Fake News media is hopelessly disconnected from the reality of how little America, particularly white America, cares about Jews and other minorities.1


  1. And forgetting that there are attitudes far less friendly than indifference.  

More State Run Job Boards Hacked

Further reports are emerging states other than Vermont had their government run job boards hacked as well. Boards in Deleware and Illinois, both named "JobLink" have been compromised for 200,000 and 1.4 million job seeker's sorry for your loss respectively. It should be safe to assume other states with a "JobLink" service have had theirs hacked as well.

USG.NSA Head Rogers Perjured Self On Eavesdropping

During a hearing on Monday Mike Rogers, head of the USG.NSA testified along side FBI Director James Comey that US President Donald Trump and his team were emphatically not eavesdropped upon. This was followed on Wednesday with the revelation from House Intelligence Committee chair that not only was there tremendous eavesdropping, the traditional redaction and masking of names was not done before the fruits of eavesdropping upon Trump were disseminated to political operatives.

The flensing of the legacy "Deep State" is gaining momentum as Rogers clearly perjured himself while James Comey at the very least violated his duty of candor while testifying.

Relics Of American "Great Again" Found In Mexico

The jerseys worn by Patriots quarterback Tom Brady during Super Bowl LI were located in Mexico after it was taken from the locker room by a member of the "international media" after the game. Super Bowl LI was a passion play in which Tom Brady and his New England Patriots defeated the Atlanta Falcons despite many protestations from the fake sports media that such an accomplishment is impossible. This mirrors US President Donald Trump's victory on November 9th despite fake news media protestations that such an accomplishment was impossible. This parallel makes Tom Brady's Super Bowl worn jerseys lesser holy relics of the coming of The Great Again.

Shinohai's Shitcoin Roundup Xtend: BTU Breakage Heat, Zcash Instamine Lulz, And More

The "Bitcoin Unlimited" development team will be releasing their token, $BTU, on April Fool's day of this year in what will surely be hailed as one of the most fitting release dates for a team ever. Unlimited node count dropped significantly this week after the discovery of a remote crash vulnerability. Core developer Greg Maxwell stated on reddit earlier this week that “There are vulnerabilities in Unlimited which have been privately reported to you in Unlimited by Bitcoin Core folks which you have not acted on, sadly. More severe than this one, in fact.” which should ensure a steady supply of lulz in the weeks to come.

Zcash's Zooko, deciding his coin doesn't have a scammy enough image, announced this week the formation of `The Zcash foundation` which will supposedly "promote a healthy and diverse zcash community" Zooko stated he will fund the foundation with half of his "founders reward" instamine, the total amounting to 273,000 coins currently worth $13 million USD at current trade prices. Matthew Green, assistant professor of computer science at Johns Hopkins University, is reputed to be one of the foundation members, which the group hopes will add an air of legitimacy to the scheme.

A new type of ransomware, dubbed "Kirk", has surfaced in various corners of the internet demanding payment via Monero instead of Bitcoin.

Never missing an opportunity to hard fork their flaming-tire-in-a-shitpit, the Ethereum development team announced that their latest fork, codenamed "Metropolis" is now back on their roadmap after being forced to postpone the "improvements" due to The DAO hack

Amazon Rolls Out An Index Librorum Prohibitorum

Trump's chief strategist Steve Bannon recently compared the ongoing controlled demolition of Europe by marauding orc hordes to a scenario portrayed in an obscure novel, The Camp of the Saints (1973) by Jean Raspail.

The response by Amazon, the world's foremost peddler of DRM-laden electronic chumpware "books" was swift, merciless, and mindblowingly "original" : let's ban some books! And so if you want to obtain a copy of The Camp of the Saints from Amazon, you will now have to settle for a $2,000 collectible edition, because the Kindle chumpware item has vanished, having been made "…unavailable because there are significant quality issues with the source file supplied by the publisher. The publisher has been notified and we will make the book available as soon as we receive a corrected file."

Similar "quality control" problems have immediately cropped up in another alleged Bannon favourite, Julias Evola's Revolt Against the Modern World. And it turns out that Hitler's mega-bestseller Mein Kampf has also sprouted some sudden bit rot.

Peace in our time.

"Bitcoin" (Altcoin) Unlimited Experiences Drop In Node Count Due To Remote Crash Vulnerability

The "Bitcoin Unlimited" node count experienced a very sharp ~65% drop around 7:30 PM UTC as a remote-crash vulnerability was made public on Twitter. The node count, as reported by coin.dance, fell to 259 from a previous measurement of 764 moments earlier.

The actual vulnerability is a result of the ineptitude of the "Bitcoin Unlimited" developers to incorrectly implement the usual "monkey see, monkey do" approach to software, by messing up the copy-pasting of power-rangerolade.

Peter Todd's straight Twitter disclosure was made in a context of heightened tensions among the two main flavors of idiocy, namely the SegWit peddlers and the Roger Verified "Bitcoin Unlimited" followers.

CEO Marissa Mayer Out At Yahoo As Verizon To Rebrand The Thing To Altaba

Verizon announced that Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer, who presided over the leaks of everything, will be parting ways with Verizon and Yahoo. Further Verizon will be renaming the thing1 formerly known as Yahoo as Altaba. Mayer will recieve 23 million US dollars as severance in exchange for getting the fuck out of the way as Verizon attempts to get some value out of this rapidly spoiling acquisition. Peace in our time.


  1. Because more specific words like firm, business, etc fail to truly describe the loose collection of 90's nostalgia an impulse purchases assembled by Mayer  

Middlebury Madness Update: Leftist Professor Attacked By Leftist Agitators Hospitalized

Middlebury College Professor Allison Stranger1 has returned to the hospital for treatment related to head and neck injuries sustained escorting a guest speaker through a dangerous crowd of her own fellow leftist Middlebury College students. The professor's husband informed the campus "community" that her classes and office hours would be cancelled while she receives treatment for a potential concussion missed during her initial hospitalization.


  1. Russell J. Leng '60 Professor of International Politics and Economics