Coinbase Begins Trading Vacation With "Your" Coins Early

Mtgox Coinbase employees have started their planned trading vacation this weekend instead of waiting for their intended start date of just before August 1st. Mtgox Coinbase has posted a cryptic status message stating that their withdrawals may be "delayed by up to 12+ hours" (archived). The notation "+" signifies an indefinite addition to the number that precedes it, and for this reason we are deeply Sorry For Your Loss.

A Quick FAQ About The Not Bitcoin fork "Bitcoin Cash"

Q: Is "Bitcoin Cash" Bitcoin?

A: No

Q: What does Roger Ver presents "Bitcoin.com"'s backing mean?

A: It's even more likely to fail in the vein of XTCoin, ClassicCoin, and Unlimited Spam Coin which were all Roger Ver-ified scams. The "Roger Ver-ified" endorsement is a leper's mark.

Q: But "Bitcoin Cash" futures appear to be trading very high? How could this be?

A: Wash trading. No one with any money that counts is sending it to the only malarial (falciparum) "exchange" trading such an instrument.

Q: Why did they use Wix.com to build a website?

A: Probably because their television viewing overlaps with the middle aged woman "small businessing" demographic that Wix.com advertises to. Also they pre-emptively hate their users.

Q: Are you sorry?

A: Only for your loss.

"Higher Education" Rag Excells At Misleading Headlines

"Inside Higher Ed", a media outlet working to advance the cultural marxist agenda in US "higher education", today published a piece with the headline:

President Apologizes For Disparaging High Schools

This clickbait headline was attached to a piece on drama related to the president of North Dakota State College of Science, a minor young adult indoctrination camp. The subject of the piece, one of thousands of other "presidents" helming similar indoctrination camps, is in fact not the elected President of the United States Donald Trump for whom the title "President" without further qualification is customarily reserved.

The outlet which claims editorial and ownership independence frequently collaborates with organs of Jeff Bezos' Washington Post Company. The elastic in pantsuit runs deep.

Miners Signal Segwit Via BIP 91 "Lock In" Avoiding "User Activated" Fork

Miners on the Bitcoin network signaled that they would begin enforcing a new set of block acceptance rules concerning the handling of "anyone can spend" transactions, commonly referred to as "Segregated Witness". For users of the actual Bitcoin system and actual Bitcoin software, this news comes with the usual "soft fork" related increase in the risk of chainsplits and orphaned blocks. For users engaging in fringe behavior on the Bitcoin network and seeking to abuse the new "rules" surrounding the "anyone can spend" edge case, there exists incredible potential1 for "your loss".

This move by Bitcoin miners circumvents an effort advanced by assorted social engineers to attempt enforcing this new "anyone can spend" ruleset through a loud tantrum. It remains to be seen how large a pile of coins the brave and the duped are willing to amass under "anyone can spend" conditions in order to tempt miners to abandon this new "soft forked" ruleset.


  1. From Qntra, December 28th, 2015

    The chief idiocy in the Blockstream camp is that if miners decide to stop enforcing the "soft" forks that Blockstream needs, the miners are somehow on "invalid" chains. Soft fork enforcement is nothing more than a courtesy extended by miners. Should miners trigger activation of segregated witness, and a super majority of miners later decide to stop enforcing its rule set, Blockstream is out of luck. Luke-Jr's protests about the "valid" blockchain would be as impotent as his protests about the valid Pope. So long as the longest chain that wins verifies on the actual reference Bitcoin client, life goes on.

    There are hazards to artificially trying to introduce new levels of trust to a system that doesn't require it. Softforks that explicitly create an incentive for their own revocation create an extraordinary moral hazard

     

Drama Heats Up As fiat/Bitcoin Interfaces Prepare For Next Round Of Fork Failures

Reports are emerging that minor fiat/Bitcoin interfaces may suspend crediting deposits and allowing withdrawals in advance of the latest round of drama surrounding fake Bitcoin network forks. Readers are reminded that interacting with fiat tied institutions is a pursuit fraught with peril. All signs point to impending "your loss", we are very sorry.

Fake News Washington Post Changes Tune On Russian Collusion

Today the Washington Post company through it's online magazine "Slate" made an assertion that represents a tremendous change in the Fake News empire's editorial policy:

It’s a move that, for the moment at least, seems like a rather misguided overcorrection. So far, no one has released any compelling evidence that Kaspersky is working with the Russian government to undermine the security of its millions of customers.

By Josephine Wolff on Slate's "Future Tense" blog July 11 2017 6:03 PM (archived)

It remains to be seen how this apparent 180 degree course correction will affect their coverage of the Trump administration, especially on the point of raising their required standard of evidence on Russian collusion to "having evidence". As recently as earlier today, the Fake News empire turned idiot son Donald Junior's gullibility with respect to a phishing scheme.1

It remains to be seen if this demand that evidence of Russian involvement with respect to Kaspersky Labs is an isolated incident, or if in their exhaustion the Washington Post company has joined other Fake News players in ceasing to care about intra-day narrative consistency.


  1. Idiot son shut out of his father's campaign but wanted to make Dad proud. Idiot son tried to make deal that he would have been explicitly forbidden to if there were actual organized collusion to protect. The moral of the story is don't name any of your children "Junior" until they grow up and provide more information on whether they are a loser or not. Otherwise you get stuck insisting you favoritely named, but most disappointing progeny is still a "quality person."  

Violence Today: One Arrest, Another Suspect At Large For Threatening Trump

Two separate incidents of threats against elected United States President Donald Trump have been handled in very different ways. An Edwardsville1 man was arrested for issuing the following utterance on Facebook:

Guess what Trump? I’m waiting for the right time…and I KNOW your (sic) Putin’s (expletive)! The secret service now has a heads up as to my plan to assassinate Trump…let’s see if they act.

Meanwhile left wing activist, organizer, and recreational actor Johnny Depp is still at large after issuing the following threat against Trump:

When was the last time an actor assassinated a president?


  1. Edwardsville is 25 miles north of Belleville where the terrorist John Hodgkinson lived and was radicalized by hate.  

The Poofening: Ether Huffers Suffer Price Flash Crash (As Opposed To More Frequently Covered Service Crash)

mETH huffers, who have been anxiously awaiting an event they dub "The Flippening" (Where the Ethereum fiat market cap surpasses that of Bitcoin), instead were treated to visions of "The Poofening" on Wednesday afternoon when the price of Ethereum flash-crashed down to $13. The price recovered to previous levels shortly afterward, thanks to the efforts of seedy exchanges such as GDAX plugging the holes of the sinking ship by suddenly making signing in to their exchange impossible. Reddit tears likely flow freely tonight with one user reporting a SFYL on GDAX when $10k USD worth of ETH was sold at $16. Ethereum still struggles to not implode under the weight of DDoS attacks to its network owing to the uptick of ICO scams using the platform of late.

Today Is The First Anniversary of "DAO Emptying" Ethereum Attack

Today marks one year since the devastating hack of "The DAO" and led to Ethereum being split into two competing tire fires. Despite the event providing ample warning of what happens when one listens to serial scammers, this hasn't stopped excitable monkeys from continuing to delude themselves and others in a vain effort to build what they believe is "unstoppable code" on the remains of the platform, biding their time until Pope Butt-Erin and the Ethereum Foundation hit the rewind button and inject more Sorry For Your Loss into the mix.

"Terror In Their Hearts" Syrian Refugees Settled In North Saint Louis Seek New Refugee Status Due To Neighbourhood Violence

This week Saint Louis radio station KMOX allegedly received a letter from Syrian refugees settled in North Saint Louis which they translated as stating the refugees had "terror in their hearts" following a home invasion. Further allegations per the radio station's aired portions of the translation include:

  • The locals who participated in the home invasion expressed interest in abducting their children.
  • When they go out in public pictures are taken of their children by the locals.
  • They are afraid to leave their home due to the ambient level of violence in the neighborhood.

KMOX radio host Charlie Brennan who presented the allegations in the letter has yet to publish the full letter in a legible venue, but local police dispute details including the fixation on the children as a cultural misunderstanding. The home invasion and extraordinary ambient level of violence however are in line with other reports from the North Saint Louis conflict zone. Brennan proposed resettling now double refugees in Ballwin, Missouri.

The Syrian refugees were resettled in the North Saint Louis conflict zone by the "International Institute of Saint Louis", an immigration and refugee settlement organization aligned with leftist political causes and located in the trendy, hip Tower Grove East neighborhood of Saint Louis City.