Workplace Violence Hits Youtube: Disgruntled Content Creator Shoots Coworkers And Kills Self

Overnight a disgruntled Persian, vegan, and female Youtube content producer went to the firm's headquarters and shot three of her coworkers before taking her own life. A number of videos the disgruntled Youtube dependent left behind suggest she held substantial resentments against Youtube over their increasing devaluation of her content and her diminishing compensation for providing Youtube that content.

Venezuela's Education Minister: Eat Less If You Want To See Food In Supermarkets

Venezuela's education minister and former Vice President Elias Jaua blames empty grocery store shelves on his fellow Venezolanos and Venezolanas eating too much (archived). This was accompanied by his declaration that:

Thank God there is a Bolivarian Revolution and our people have a right to eat meat, chicken, milk, that they did not have ten, 14 years ago

Meanwhile the "right to eat" won by the Bolivarian Revolution has resulted in a net drop in Venezuela's per capita human mass of 11 kilograms. This resembles the manner in which Obamacare substantially reduced access to healthcare in the United States.

Ecuador Cuts Communications From Assange As Brits Go On Tilt

The Embassy of Ecuador in London has cut off communications between Julian Assange and the outside world following pressure from NATO member states. Recently the sublethal poisoning of a British Spy in London with a common nerve agent has been used as a pretext for the United Kingdom to pressure its allies into isolating Russia and other percieved enemies. The full text of Ecuador's announcement is below:

COMUNICADO OFICIAL

28 de marzo de 2018

EL GOBIERNO DE ECUADOR SUSPENDE LAS COMUNICACIONES DE JULIAN ASSANGE

El Gobierno de Ecuador suspendió de los sistemas que permiten a Julian Assange comunicarse con el exterior desde la embajada ecuatoriana en Londres, en donde el ciudadano permanece en situación de protección internacional desde hace seis años debido al riesgo que corre su vida e integridad.

La medida fue adoptada ante el incumplimiento por parte de Assange del compromiso escrito que asumió con el Gobierno a finales de 2017, por el que se obligaba a no emitir mensajes que supusieran una injerencia en relación a otros Estados.

El Gobierno de Ecuador advierte de que el comportamiento de Assange, con sus mensajes a través de las redes sociales, pone en riesgo las buenas relaciones que el país mantiene con Reino Unido, con el resto de los Estados de la Unión Europea y otras naciones. Por todo ello, para prevenir potenciales perjuicios, la embajada en Londres interrumpió este 27 de marzo las comunicaciones al exterior a las que tiene acceso Assange.

El Ejecutivo mantiene además abiena la vía a la adopción de nuevas medidas ante el incumplimiento del compromiso por parte de Assange.

USG Whispers Pleas Of "War On Terror" And "Special Operations Command" In MikroTik Router Shitware Case

In the absence of firm admissions of guilt, known USG influence outlets including Conde Nast publications are pleaing that the malware pushed into phuctorable MikroTik routers was part of a US Special Operations Command anti-Terrorism effort (archived, archived). Presumably this is part of the terrorist Pantsuit USG campaign to creating dialogue points for shifting the overton window on shitware.

USG Attacks Softest "Crypto" Target Possible

Today the USG under the name of President Trump announced sanctions against an ICO offering advanced by the Maduro government in Venezuela. Expect substantial wank and declarations of "effectiveness" in the USG's combat against "trade" in this plainly toxic asset no one but the criminal ICO issuers wanted in the first place. Full text below: Continue reading

Months After Victory Declared In Mosul, Militants And Weapons Still Present

Months after the US backed Iraqi occupation authority declared "victory" in Mosul:

  • ISIS/ISIL/Daesh militants continue to persist in the remains of the city.
  • Bodies continue littering the streets (archived)
  • Like Raqqa, where victory was also declared, the former city to the extent it still exists is as a collection of post-modern ruins (archived).
  • Cleaning up the rubble requires navigating tons of ordinance that failed to detonate as intended (archived).

Whether qualify of life in the city with ISIS "removed" is higher than it was under caliphate rule remains an open question.

US SEC, Elizabeth Holmes, And Theranos Announce "Massive Fraud"Charges And Proposed Settlement Together

The United States Securities and Exchange Commision announced it was filing charges of "Massive Fraud" against Elizabeth Holmes and her Initial Coin Offering, Theranos Labs. Curiously the press release revelaing charges also announced that a settlement has already been agreed to (archived). Also curiously absent from mainstream pantsuit coverage of the charges is the scent of corruption allowing the well connected pantsuits to escape with this sweetheart settlement:

Theranos and Holmes have agreed to settle the fraud charges levied against them.  Holmes agreed to pay a $500,000 penalty, be barred from serving as an officer or director of a public company for 10 years, return the remaining 18.9 million shares that she obtained during the fraud, and relinquish her voting control of Theranos by converting her super-majority Theranos Class B Common shares to Class A Common shares.  Due to the company’s liquidation preference, if Theranos is acquired or is otherwise liquidated, Holmes would not profit from her ownership until – assuming redemption of certain warrants – over $750 million is returned to defrauded investors and other preferred shareholders.  The settlements with Theranos and Holmes are subject to court approval.  Theranos and Holmes neither admitted nor denied the allegations in the SEC’s complaint.

South Africa Set To Begin Uncompensated Land Thefts

On Tuesday the militant black power gang calling itself South Africa's parliament began passed legislation to seize all white owned land without compensation. The double talking Thief in Chief Cyril Ramaphosa (WOT:nonperson) offered these comments about this complete disenfranchisement of the country's remaining white population:

No-one is saying that land must be taken away from our people. Rather, it is how we can make sure that our people have equitable access to land and security of tenure. We must see this process of accelerated land redistribution as an opportunity and not as a threat.

At a time when the South African port city of Cape Town is running out of water under their mismanagement, the political criminal organization calling itself the African National Congress is resorting to race baiting and redistributive theft in a desperate attempt to salvage their public opinion. On how the loot from their plunder will be managed, Chief Thief offered:

We will handle it with responsibility. We will handle it in a way that will not damage our economy, that is not going to damage agricultural production.

Tienen sed. Les gustaría tener hambre?