The Bangkok post reports that 22 year old Finnish man Aarni Otava Saarimaa allegedly gave a fortune of 5564.4 Bitcoins to a group of Thai men offering him the opportunity to invest in an online casino and an altcoin project they dubbed "Dragon Coin" (archived). Reportedly the Thai men instead converted the fortune into 797 million bhat of which 745 million bhat made it into their bank accounts. In a very Tradehillesque move, many of those bhat were further converted to real estate.
Local police have arrested a number of Thai men for connection to the plot while others they would like to arrest have fled, including one to the United States. Local police are insisting that despite earlier local reports which alleged a number of local politicians were involved, there were no politicians involved in fingering the Finn's Fortune.
The United Colours Antifa Street Soccer Cup in Zwickau, Germany was cancelled after racist violence broke out between a primarily Arab and a primarily African team. The event's organizers are self declared Antifa terrorists and describe the competition as a demonstration that Zwickau is not for "racism and every type of discrimination", a mission statement the involved players must have failed to comprehend before the game broke down into a cacophony of racist violence.
Microsoft has been caught red-handed in an act proudly continuing an old tradition: introducing a trivially-exploitable privesc vulnerability into its Windows product line under the cover of a patch for the infamous Meltdown Intel misfeature.
The Israelis bombed a Syrian airbase in their latest effort to escalate the conflict Pantsuits refuse to abandon. Meanwhile for similar "humanitarian reasons", nearly 40 corpses have been generated on the Israeli border with Gaza as the Israelis continue defending a flimsy fence instead of constructing a Trump spec wall.
Overnight a disgruntled Persian, vegan, and female Youtube content producer went to the firm's headquarters and shot three of her coworkers before taking her own life. A number of videos the disgruntled Youtube dependent left behind suggest she held substantial resentments against Youtube over their increasing devaluation of her content and her diminishing compensation for providing Youtube that content.
Venezuela's education minister and former Vice President Elias Jaua blames empty grocery store shelves on his fellow Venezolanos and Venezolanas eating too much (archived). This was accompanied by his declaration that:
Thank God there is a Bolivarian Revolution and our people have a right to eat meat, chicken, milk, that they did not have ten, 14 years ago
The Embassy of Ecuador in London has cut off communications between Julian Assange and the outside world following pressure from NATO member states. Recently the sublethal poisoning of a British Spy in London with a common nerve agent has been used as a pretext for the United Kingdom to pressure its allies into isolating Russia and other percieved enemies. The full text of Ecuador's announcement is below:
28 de marzo de 2018
EL GOBIERNO DE ECUADOR SUSPENDE LAS COMUNICACIONES DE JULIAN ASSANGE
El Gobierno de Ecuador suspendió de los sistemas que permiten a Julian Assange comunicarse con el exterior desde la embajada ecuatoriana en Londres, en donde el ciudadano permanece en situación de protección internacional desde hace seis años debido al riesgo que corre su vida e integridad.
La medida fue adoptada ante el incumplimiento por parte de Assange del compromiso escrito que asumió con el Gobierno a finales de 2017, por el que se obligaba a no emitir mensajes que supusieran una injerencia en relación a otros Estados.
El Gobierno de Ecuador advierte de que el comportamiento de Assange, con sus mensajes a través de las redes sociales, pone en riesgo las buenas relaciones que el país mantiene con Reino Unido, con el resto de los Estados de la Unión Europea y otras naciones. Por todo ello, para prevenir potenciales perjuicios, la embajada en Londres interrumpió este 27 de marzo las comunicaciones al exterior a las que tiene acceso Assange.
El Ejecutivo mantiene además abiena la vía a la adopción de nuevas medidas ante el incumplimiento del compromiso por parte de Assange.