Josh Garza of GAW miners infamy has been sentenced to 21 months in prison to be followed by 6 months of home confinement and 3 years of "supervised release" after pleading guilty to one count of wire fraud. The wire fraud relates to Garza's "paycoin" altcoin with the rest of his vaporware operation swept under the criminal liability rug.
Intel has begun attaching a license clause prohibiting comparative benchmarking to its CPU microcode updates (archived). Intel has spent the past year deluged with reports of critical flaws in their CPUs related to speed optimizations which fundamentally compromise the ability of their chips to be secure, especially in multi user systems. This fumbling by Intel to supress comparative benchmarks between patched and unpatched chips is only their latest attempt to paper over how much of their chips' fradulent speed advantage is lost with anything resembling effective mitigations1 for these engineered holes.
The Spanish Civil Guard shuttered a farm in Majorca, Spain which was breeding a number of endangered turtle species. More than one thousand sustainably bred and breeding turtles were captured in a move that the Gendarmie is calling a "rescue" (archived). A pet shop owner who allegedly assisted in the distribution of these sustainably farmed turtles was also arrested for their conservation efforts.
The fate of the captured turtles is unknown at this time, but it is unlikely to allow them to contribute to the perpetuation of their species as effectively as they did in this now shuttered conservation operation. Regardless of how prolifically they are bred by fiat sanctioned environmentalists, their children will be unable to contribute to relieving demand for wild caught members of their species.
Money laundering charges were also filed because these outlaw environmentalists had the audacity to use money without explicit permission from the local cabal of socialist scum that imagines such a thing can be required.
The Bangkok post reports that 22 year old Finnish man Aarni Otava Saarimaa allegedly gave a fortune of 5564.4 Bitcoins to a group of Thai men offering him the opportunity to invest in an online casino and an altcoin project they dubbed "Dragon Coin" (archived). Reportedly the Thai men instead converted the fortune into 797 million bhat of which 745 million bhat made it into their bank accounts. In a very Tradehillesque move, many of those bhat were further converted to real estate.
Local police have arrested a number of Thai men for connection to the plot while others they would like to arrest have fled, including one to the United States. Local police are insisting that despite earlier local reports which alleged a number of local politicians were involved, there were no politicians involved in fingering the Finn's Fortune.
The United Colours Antifa Street Soccer Cup in Zwickau, Germany was cancelled after racist violence broke out between a primarily Arab and a primarily African team. The event's organizers are self declared Antifa terrorists and describe the competition as a demonstration that Zwickau is not for "racism and every type of discrimination", a mission statement the involved players must have failed to comprehend before the game broke down into a cacophony of racist violence.
The US Department of "Justice" has announced their capture of 35 entrepreneurs for engaging in commerce while located within the borders of the evil empire (archived). The captured entrepreneurs made the common mistake of attempting to bring commerce to the USG operated tor network. This is not the first coordinated attack on "Darkweb" entrepreneurs, but this is the first to target individual vendors instead of marketplace operators.
Prosecutors working for the criminal gang commonly known as the US Government are alleging that Joshua Adam Schulte was somehow involved in leaking a suite of CIA hacking tools and other lulzy artifacts. These prosecutors however aren't making the allegations by actually filing charges against Schulte, just leaking their suspicions to Jeff Bezo's Amazon Presents Washington Post (archived). According to the leaks about the criminal case into the leaker, Schulte's apartment was raided late last year and the seizure of Schulte's computers, electronics, and handwritten notes failed to produce indictable evidence even by the low standards fashionable in US Courts these days.
With Kanye West, the #WOKE voice of a generation flying a Make America Great Again banner, mainstream Pantsuit outlets have launched an all out forced meme campaign to replace Kanye with a more obedient representative of Black America. For this pupose Pantsuit has settled on Donald Glover, a former NBC sitcom writer thoroughly indoctrinated in Pantsuit dogma. Continue reading
The Israelis bombed a Syrian airbase in their latest effort to escalate the conflict Pantsuits refuse to abandon. Meanwhile for similar "humanitarian reasons", nearly 40 corpses have been generated on the Israeli border with Gaza as the Israelis continue defending a flimsy fence instead of constructing a Trump spec wall.