Gullible Finnish Man Gave 4 Figure Bitcoin Fortune To Thai Men, In 2017!

The Bangkok post reports that 22 year old Finnish man Aarni Otava Saarimaa allegedly gave a fortune of 5564.4 Bitcoins to a group of Thai men offering him the opportunity to invest in an online casino and an altcoin project they dubbed "Dragon Coin" (archived). Reportedly the Thai men instead converted the fortune into 797 million bhat of which 745 million bhat made it into their bank accounts. In a very Tradehillesque move, many of those bhat were further converted to real estate.

Local police have arrested a number of Thai men for connection to the plot while others they would like to arrest have fled, including one to the United States. Local police are insisting that despite earlier local reports which alleged a number of local politicians were involved, there were no politicians involved in fingering the Finn's Fortune.

'Anti-Racist' Football Tournament Cancelled After Racist Violence Between Refugee Teams

The United Colours Antifa Street Soccer Cup in Zwickau, Germany was cancelled after racist violence broke out between a primarily Arab and a primarily African team. The event's organizers are self declared Antifa terrorists and describe the competition as a demonstration that Zwickau is not for "racism and every type of discrimination", a mission statement the involved players must have failed to comprehend before the game broke down into a cacophony of racist violence.

US Captures 35 Entrepreneurs In Coordinated Attack On Commerce

The US Department of "Justice" has announced their capture of 35 entrepreneurs for engaging in commerce while located within the borders of the evil empire (archived). The captured entrepreneurs made the common mistake of attempting to bring commerce to the USG operated tor network. This is not the first coordinated attack on "Darkweb" entrepreneurs, but this is the first to target individual vendors instead of marketplace operators.

US Alleges Some Guy Leaked CIA Tools But Doesn't Allege Strong Enough To Bring Charges

Prosecutors working for the criminal gang commonly known as the US Government are alleging that Joshua Adam Schulte was somehow involved in leaking a suite of CIA hacking tools and other lulzy artifacts. These prosecutors however aren't making the allegations by actually filing charges against Schulte, just leaking their suspicions to Jeff Bezo's Amazon Presents Washington Post (archived). According to the leaks about the criminal case into the leaker, Schulte's apartment was raided late last year and the seizure of Schulte's computers, electronics, and handwritten notes failed to produce indictable evidence even by the low standards fashionable in US Courts these days.

The US case against Schulte appears to be anchored in Ulbrich type tor wank. Schulte remains in indefinite pre-trial detention on charges unrelated to the CIA leaks case.

Pantsuit Media Tries To Dethrone #WOKE Voice of a Generation Kanye West With Forced Meme

With Kanye West, the #WOKE voice of a generation flying a Make America Great Again banner, mainstream Pantsuit outlets have launched an all out forced meme campaign to replace Kanye with a more obedient representative of Black America. For this pupose Pantsuit has settled on Donald Glover, a former NBC sitcom writer thoroughly indoctrinated in Pantsuit dogma. Continue reading

Workplace Violence Hits Youtube: Disgruntled Content Creator Shoots Coworkers And Kills Self

Overnight a disgruntled Persian, vegan, and female Youtube content producer went to the firm's headquarters and shot three of her coworkers before taking her own life. A number of videos the disgruntled Youtube dependent left behind suggest she held substantial resentments against Youtube over their increasing devaluation of her content and her diminishing compensation for providing Youtube that content.

Venezuela's Education Minister: Eat Less If You Want To See Food In Supermarkets

Venezuela's education minister and former Vice President Elias Jaua blames empty grocery store shelves on his fellow Venezolanos and Venezolanas eating too much (archived). This was accompanied by his declaration that:

Thank God there is a Bolivarian Revolution and our people have a right to eat meat, chicken, milk, that they did not have ten, 14 years ago

Meanwhile the "right to eat" won by the Bolivarian Revolution has resulted in a net drop in Venezuela's per capita human mass of 11 kilograms. This resembles the manner in which Obamacare substantially reduced access to healthcare in the United States.

Ecuador Cuts Communications From Assange As Brits Go On Tilt

The Embassy of Ecuador in London has cut off communications between Julian Assange and the outside world following pressure from NATO member states. Recently the sublethal poisoning of a British Spy in London with a common nerve agent has been used as a pretext for the United Kingdom to pressure its allies into isolating Russia and other percieved enemies. The full text of Ecuador's announcement is below:

COMUNICADO OFICIAL

28 de marzo de 2018

EL GOBIERNO DE ECUADOR SUSPENDE LAS COMUNICACIONES DE JULIAN ASSANGE

El Gobierno de Ecuador suspendió de los sistemas que permiten a Julian Assange comunicarse con el exterior desde la embajada ecuatoriana en Londres, en donde el ciudadano permanece en situación de protección internacional desde hace seis años debido al riesgo que corre su vida e integridad.

La medida fue adoptada ante el incumplimiento por parte de Assange del compromiso escrito que asumió con el Gobierno a finales de 2017, por el que se obligaba a no emitir mensajes que supusieran una injerencia en relación a otros Estados.

El Gobierno de Ecuador advierte de que el comportamiento de Assange, con sus mensajes a través de las redes sociales, pone en riesgo las buenas relaciones que el país mantiene con Reino Unido, con el resto de los Estados de la Unión Europea y otras naciones. Por todo ello, para prevenir potenciales perjuicios, la embajada en Londres interrumpió este 27 de marzo las comunicaciones al exterior a las que tiene acceso Assange.

El Ejecutivo mantiene además abiena la vía a la adopción de nuevas medidas ante el incumplimiento del compromiso por parte de Assange.