46 Pantsuitist Candidates Already Lined Up For Presidential Primary Showdown

The field of candidates to take the Pantsuitist position challenging Trump in the 2020 election has swollen to 46, a figure that only includes declared candidates. Undeclared candidate, frontrunner, and former assistant to Hussein Bahamas, Joe Biden is facing an early obstacle as Pantsuitists debate how far to take their "believe women" mantra when it concerns their own ranks. The aged Biden has a long history of making affectionate contact with women and children at campaign events, a habit which began long before his party's recent Puritan turn against any contact between homo sapiens that isn't explicitly homosexual.

These assaults have recently been used by Pantsuitists to deperson many of their own strongest supporters in order to create openings for younger, dumber replacements. Thanks to the rapid changes in their behavioral rules enabled by taking social media mobs seriously, anyone who subscribes to pantsuit insanity finds themself incapable of defending themself from future charges as popular mores become ever more Puritan. Especially if the only thing moderating the lynch mobs surrounding Biden is that he was Hussein Bahamas's Vice President less than three years ago.

Given the immense size of the field and popular consensus that the incumbent Trump is deeply unpopular, this is set to be an incredibly bloody primary contest.

English Judge: "I Cannot Think Of Any More Obviously Fundamental Human Right Than The Right Of A Man To Have Sex With His Wife"

In a British case where social service officials decided that one man's ambiguously cognitively impaired wife might not be able to consent following an unspecified decline in her condition and thusly the two shouldn't be able to ever fuck again according to social work law, presiding Judge Justice Hayden declined the social worker's request to issue a preliminary court order barring marital sex (archived). In a decision outraging the social work lobby the Honorable Justice Hayden instead is insisting on hearing evidence and legal arguments before any orders are imposed by the court.

In a three way showdown Hayden will be hearing arguments from lawyers representing the husband, the wife, and the local council's meddling social workers.

Not Much Brexiting On Brexit Day As Brits Still Wanking Over How To Brexit

With Brexit Day winding to a close the Brits are still wanking over how exactly to Brexit with Parliament voting "no" leaving with a deal and leaving without a deal. Theresa May is calling for a fourth vote on her "soft Brexit" deal thrice rejected in parliament next week, should her government survive that long. Once again modern democracy inteprets a simple proposition, in this case "leave the EU", as anything but the actual fucking words.

EU Mandating Speed Naggers In All Cars By 2022

The European Union has passed a measure requiring cars to be fitted with a nagging speed nanny systems by 2022 (archived). The naggers will import speed data from the vehicle's GPS reported location as well as from a forward pointed camera intended to read speed limit signs. During the first implementation phase driver's will be able to over ride the system and disable it, though every time the vehicle starts the nagger will be enabled by default. Eventually EU social engineers have expressed their hope that with continued exposure to the nagger, they will be able to remove the allowance for its disabling. Mandatory pre-wiring with a harness to allow installation of alcohol interlock devices without further vehicle modification is included in this nanny state measure as well.

Post Brexit Britain will also suffer imposition of the naggers as well under its current transportation regime thanks to the eagerness of bureaucrats to agree to absolutely anything at all, so long as they have an opportunity to agree to something.

Chicago Drops All 16 Felony Charges Against Hate Hoaxer Jussie Smollet

All 16 counts of felony disorderly conduct in the case of Jussie Smollet scamming two Nigerian brothers to stage a hate hoax have been dropped. Smollet agreed to forfeit the 100,000 10,000 USD bond he posted for pre-trial release though all parties involved insist that the bond forfeiture was in no way related to the cessation of prosecution. The potential still exists for the USG to make a federal case out of the affair.

Ross Ulbricht remains in prison on a sentence that the USG would like to see end only with Ubricht's own death, the imposition of the sentence was abetted by his own legal counsel.

EU Parliament Endorses New Copyrasty Regime

The European Union parliament has passes a measure "reforming" their copyrasty regime to include upload filters, licensing mandates, and possible link taxes (archived). The European council will consider the measure April 9th. If passed by the council, EU members will be compelled to adopt the new copyrasty regime in their local laws or leave.

USG Leveraging Discord In The Home To Disarm Americans, Illinois Moving Ammo Serialization Bill Through Legislature

USG prosecutors are increasingly turning intra-marital disputes into federal cases for the purpose of disarming American males (archived).

Meanwhile, Illinois is looking to test legislation mandating serializing handgun ammunition with no grandfather clause allowing private possession of ammunition purchased before the serialization requirements go into effect (archived). The text of the proposed bill singles out .22 caliber rimfire ammunition as subject to the serialization requirement, and each round of traditional unserialized ammunition would count as a seperate offense. This is a serious problem for target shooters who buy .22 long rifle by the 500 round brick. The full text of the Illinois proposal scheduled for a hearing in committee tomorrow is presented below: Continue reading

Turmoil Continues At SLPC Hate Organization As Departures Continue

The embattled hate organization calling itself the "Southern Poverty Law Center" is looking for a new president and a new legal director as departures continue (archived). As the hate organization finds itself increasingly the defendant in court as opposed to aggressing and filing amicus briefs, inconvenient stories attributed to insiders are making the rounds including consistent reports of pervasive colorism with a plantation style split between poorly paid dark skinned clerical workers and higher paid, light skinned "leadership" in their own organization.

New Zealand Arresting File Sharers, Banning Semi-Automatic Firearms In Government Power Grab

While Turkey's Erdogan is using Brenton Tarrant's ecofascist partisan attack to energize his political base, New Zealand's government is moving to aggressively strip Kiwis of their remaining freedoms. Young men and women are being arrested for sharing a video filmed by Tarrant during his action (archived). The video spend a substantial amount of time following Tarrant as he drives, one person rushing Tarrant in an effort to save his own life, and the bulk of the eventual casualties gathered in "puppy piles" playing dead until death came for them at Tarrant's hand. With David Shanks, New Zealand's chief censor threatening up to 14 years in prison for sharing the widely shared video, incarceration is set to become a substantially larger portion of the Kiwi budget.

New Zealand has also moved to ban semi-automatic firearms with some limited exceptions for agricultural use to be clarified at a later point (archived). Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said, "this is just the beginning" and "it's about safety."

Pierre Omidyar Stops Stalling On Snowden Documents Instead Gives Up And Shutters Access Declaring "Case Closed"

Pierre Omidyar's "The Intercept" under the editorship of USG stooge Glenn Greenwald has stopped work on the Snowden archive citing the lack of headlines in five years as the reason for doing so (archived). Nevermind the lack of releases from the archive prevents headlines being written. They sat on a treasure trove whose only value was in being released and instead did nothing. Nothing beyond giving away the leakers that followed Snowden, to the tune of 5 years in prison for poor Reality Winner. Or as the rat Greenwald calls it:

From the time we began reporting on the archive provided to us in Hong Kong by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden, we sought to fulfill his two principal requests for how the materials should be handled: that they be released in conjunction with careful reporting that puts the documents in context and makes them digestible to the public, and that the welfare and reputations of innocent people be safeguarded.

"Careful reporting" to protect "innocent people" as identified through a stooge tinted lens allows the empire's evil to continue fermenting in the safety of darkness. Nevermind the actual moral imperative professional journalists carry of indicting the guilty. If you are one of the self identified journalists holding a copy of the Snowden archive and would like to become a professional journalist with ethics aligning to morals, you are invited to do some reading and get in touch.