Trump Issues Ultimatum To GOP Senators: Start Selling!

This week, following yet another failure by legacy legislative members of the GOP to end Obamacare, United States President Donald Trump summoned GOP members of the Senate1 to a luncheon where he issued them an ultimatum. They must begin selling! President Trump even singled out a Nevada Senator, Doubting Dean Heller, and challenged Heller on his presumed desire to remain a Senator (archived). Only eight of the thirty three US Senate seats being contested in the 2018 mid term election are currently held by the GOP. This places non-compliant, legacy, GOP Senators like Doubting Dean vulnerable to challengers during this coming spring's primary season as Trump's GOP moves towards greater purity and ability.

The luncheon's lesson is that in Trump's GOP, faith without works is now dead. Private professions of faith and muted announcements supporting the cause are no longer enough. GOP legislators must begin the work of selling the Trumpreich's agenda or they will be purged as the party resolves its schisms. Eight years of Hussein Bahamas, where the GOP existed as a hollow and lazy opposition party doing little other than serving to legitimize pantsuit's pretensions of purpose, allowed Trump to capture the party. Now that Trump has the GOP, he will have his way with the GOP.


  1. Minus the lich John McCain who has been revealed to have aggressive brain cancer. Presumably McCain has failed to maintain personal possession of his phylactery.  

As Fake News Hammers Russian Fanfiction Number Of Believers Crashes

According to a poll conducted by ABC and Jeff Bezos' Washington Post, the number of Americans buying into their bullshit is falling. Despite the constant hammering of the "Russian collusion" conspiracy theory in pant suit fake news output, less American voters believe it now than believed back in April according to pantsuit's own polls. (archived) Based on the ample evidence of which way pantsuit pollsters err, it can be assumed that believership in the fake news fanfic is nearly nil outside of its authors.

Surveillance Videos Of Mass Attack On BART Train Withheld In The Name Of Bias Prevention

Following the April 22nd raid where approximately fifty "kids" rushed a BART train resulting in seven robberies and two assaults, bipedal game wardens of the San Francisco predation zone have decided to not release their surveillance video of the incident for fear, "it would create a racial bias" between the varieties of bipedal quarry stocked on the reservation. (archived) Absent the video, Qntra is unable to make any inferences as to whom the perpetrators may be or how the video's release could create racial bias.

Harvard Faculty Seek To Restrict Voluntary Student Participation In Off Campus Associations

In an effort to prevent students from associating outside the confines of the socialist indoctrination camp known as Harvard1, a committee of faculty and administrators have proposed increasing sanctions against students who join "exclusive" organizations off campus (archived). The proposed move is being marketed under the "diversity" and "inclusion" labels frequently pushed by pantsuitists, and it would impose penalties up to expulsion on students who join fraternities, sororities, and other "single gender organizations". These voluntary associations unaffiliated with Harvard have traditionally served as refuges for students unwilling to buy into the whole social program advocated by their indoctrinators.

Last year students joining these independent organization were banned from holding leadership positions in Harvard sanctioned organizations by camp Commissar Drew G. Faust (WOT:nonperson).


  1. at one point a University  

Darknet Market Alphabay Shut Down: Alleged Operator Dies In Jail Cell

The darknet market Alphabay has been shuttered. One alleged operator, Alexandre Cazes, died in a Thai jail cell following his arrest. His captors insist Cazes was found hung, implying his death was a suicide. Given the recently departed's alleged position in relation to a sum of value in Bitcoin, more sinister explanations for Cazes' demise are possible and likely.1

This is yet another episode highlighting the dangers of attempting to use USG honeypots like the Tor network as tools. The timing suggests increasing desperation by fiat aligned interests in concordance with other recent acts of desperation.


  1. The "coke machine" referenced in the comment refers to a kleptographic attack where a captive is systematically tortured to extract private key material.  

Drama Heats Up As fiat/Bitcoin Interfaces Prepare For Next Round Of Fork Failures

Reports are emerging that minor fiat/Bitcoin interfaces may suspend crediting deposits and allowing withdrawals in advance of the latest round of drama surrounding fake Bitcoin network forks. Readers are reminded that interacting with fiat tied institutions is a pursuit fraught with peril. All signs point to impending "your loss", we are very sorry.

Arkansas Plant Board Sends Emergency Dicamba Ban To Governor Amid "Continued Dicamba Destruction Xtend (TM)(R)"

In the second growing season since Monsanto released their "Xtend Crop System" featuring dicamba resistant soybeans and cotton, the Arkansas State Plant Board has been moved to propose an emergency ban on the in-crop use of dicamba outside of traditional applications of the herbicide to pasture land. The emergency ban now awaits the Governor's approval following an 11-3 endorsement by the Plant Board.

Monsanto's response to the proposed ban has been to point out that 33 other states have been perfectly happy telling their trees and non-Monsanto broad leaf crops to get fucked. Monsanto's Christi Dixon seriously proposes1 bailing out the customers of one her employer's products, a product which still grows and yields a crop without being "nourished" by this particular herbicide, by fucking everyone in Monsanto allowing territories over.

Enjoy the amber waves that did not live long enough to yield grain. Sorry for your loess.


  1. Having her employer in the byline leads to the assumption that the work is not intended as a satirical piece  

Ethereum Blocks Way The Fuck Too Big: "Smart" Contract DDoS'ing Own "Initial Coin Offering" To Blame

The Bancor network, billed as a protocol for creating smart tokens using smart contracts on the Ethereum database was forced to alter the terms of its "initial coin offering" "due to massive malicious attacks on network & resulting pending transaction bottleneck". First thought by Ether huffers to be due to a bad actor attempting to prevent the "initial coin offering" from taking place, it was later discovered that transactions to the Bancor "smart" contract address itself was causing the DDoS attack on the network. During the course of the attack it was revealed that despite an advertised cap on the number of tokens proffered in the crowdsale, the contract owners could create new tokens at any time they liked at no additional cost. Despite the signs pointing to impending disaster and a possible repeat of history, the creators managed to capture over $150 million US dollars in the first 3 hours of the crowdsale.

After Snap Elections, Britain To Enter Brexit Negotiations Without A Majority Party In Parliament

In Britain, snap elections called by Theresa May have left her "Conservative" Party just short of the majority they enjoyed in parliament before May's decision to hold this latest round of elections three years early. With Brexit negotiations set to begin in two weeks, this outcome raises serious questions as to whether sinister continental European governments have meddled in the British election seeking an outcome like this one, favorable to the German pantsuits of "our democracy".

Careerist US Attorney Prosecutes Private Money For Property Exchange

Acting U.S. Attorney Tom Larson of the Western District of Missouri has prosecuting a case of exchanging money for property as a criminal act. The victim Jason R. Klein plead guilty to running an "illegal currency exchange" that per the prosecution only handled money on one side of the transaction as the other side of the transaction was property. Had the case been prosecuted to a verdict in favor of the prosecution, it would have set a precedent for prosecuting any transactions between private parties.

Tom Larson is a careerist employed by the US Attorney's office for the Western District of Missouri since 1980 before finding himself in this interim leadership position. This is a typical career path of least resistance undertaken by swamp creatures embedded as obstacles to The Great Again.