Revived Phuctor Breaks A Big Pile Of Github Developer SSH Keys In Return

Today No Such lAbs principals Mircea Popescu and Stanislav Datskovskiy disclosed the existence of 192 weak Github developer SSH keys which were broken by the Phuctor, the RSA supercollider and numerical observatory operated by No Such lAbs. The keys all appear to be used by actual Github contributors with definite yet varying amounts activity.

German Police Hunting 89 Year Old Civilian WWII Survivor

Ursula Haverbeck, an 89 year old survivor of the second World War, is being pursued by German Police and a group calling itself "The International Auschwitz Committee" (archived). Haverbeck, who was 16 years old in 1945, was sentenced to 2 years in prison for disputing the official Holocaust narrative. In light of her advanced age, any prison sentence is likely to be a life sentence.

While actual violence against Jews is increasing in Germany an awful lot of efforts seems to be wasted trying to ensure a non-violent political activist dies in jail.

Ledger "Hardware Wallet" Backdoored By Child Who Releases Proof Of Concept Attack

Saleem Rashid has published a vulnerability report on the "Ledger Nano S" hardware wallet (archived). The nature of the vulnerability thorougly counters marketing and damage control PR offered by the firm and it's CEO Eric Larchevêque. This incident once again demonstrates that magic totems are no substitute for hygiene.

No Such lAbs Posts Positive Cashflow On Continued FUCKGOATS Sales

No Such lAbs reports their first month of positive cash flow in their August 2017 statement. This marks a milestone in the development of this New World business. There are no signs of any actual movement by fiat concerns to enter the business space occupied by the ascendant No Such lAbs.

Dead alt-Soros No Longer Effective In Protecting Daughter From Truth

Fear of the late alt-Soros Zbigniew Brzezinski has now faded to the point that it can no longer protect his daughter from the fact that she is not very smart and has now become old. In a tweet United States President Donald Trump told the story about how Brzezinski's daughter and her pet, the failed congressman Joe Scarborough, attempted to abusively parlay their early appearance of Trump support into a quid pro quo favor trading relationship in spite of the President's ethical reservations. Since the incident the late alt-Soros' daughter and her pet have dedicated their talkshow to spewing an unending stream of animus and resentment at the president elect.

Legions of old women, pantsuit loyalists all of them, proceeded to wail about how wrong it was for Trump to shame the old hag for bleeding all over his resort while she recovered from cosmetic surgery intended to conceal her advanced age. Brzezinski's daughter entered an engagement to marry with her talk show co-host Scarborough once the elder Brzezinski's failing health satisfied Scarborough's concerns that the alt-Soros was in fact a mortal homo sapien and not a lich or other undead eldritch horror.

No Such lAbs Unveils FUCKGOATS

No Such lAbs (MPEx:S.NSA) announced its first hardware product today, the eunymous FUCKGOATS.

FUCKGOATS is an auditable true random number generator with highly concentrated1, significant entropy debit2 and a particularly resilient design. The price point is a shade under 3 Bitcents (shipping included). The unit can be plugged directly into any USB connector. Various tools & utilities are bundled with each purchase.

Peace in our uTime!


  1. 7.9999 and over bits per byte. 

  2. Upwards of 1Kbps. 

Bitcoin Foundation Celebrates Month Of Activity And RELEASE Milestone

In their September state of Bitcoin address the Bitcoin Foundation was able to celebrate a substantial milestone in the clean up of the reference Bitcoin implementation. A flurry of testing and tweaking has lead to foundation co-chair mod6 (WOT:mod6) declaring the project has finally reached its long awaited milestone of version 0.5.4 RELEASE. Though most of the functional improvements to the reference implementation have long been enjoyed on actual running of Bitcoin nodes, the title of RELEASE was withheld until sanity could be brought to the makefiles and build process at large. Substantial contributions in time, sweat, and blood were made by ben_vulpes (WOT:ben_vulpes), shinohai (shinohai), and trinque (trinque).