Remains Of Gawker Media Back On The Sales Block

Univision is fishing for offers to take the remains of the Gawker Media Group, now called the Gizmodo Media Group off their hands (archived). Univision bought the former Gawker properties back in 2016 apparently hoping to find synergy between their core Latino audience and Gawker's audience of urban Soylent Socialists. Following recent layoffs, writers on the site have taken to publishing pieces on Univision's dime begging for new ownership to buy them out.

High Volume California LocalBitcoins Trader Sentenced After Pleading Guilty

Fifty year old Theresa Lynn Tetley, who did business on LocalBitcoins as "Bitcoin Maven", was sentenced to 366 days in prison and ordered to forfeit 40 Bitcoins, 292,264.00 USD in cash, and 25 gold bars after pleaing guilty to single counts of operating an unlicensed money transmitting business and money laundering (archived). The Bitcoin matron unknowingly began doing business with an undercover DEA agent in 2016 and according to the plea knowingly agreed to trade on entrapping terms insisted on by the DEA agent. Guilty pleas remain harmful to your future as they always were.

US Captures 35 Entrepreneurs In Coordinated Attack On Commerce

The US Department of "Justice" has announced their capture of 35 entrepreneurs for engaging in commerce while located within the borders of the evil empire (archived). The captured entrepreneurs made the common mistake of attempting to bring commerce to the USG operated tor network. This is not the first coordinated attack on "Darkweb" entrepreneurs, but this is the first to target individual vendors instead of marketplace operators.

Amazon Adds Jury Option To Firing Process

Jeff Bezos' Walmart and Google competitor Amazon has introduced a "coworker jury" system to their firing process. As an alternative to the existing options of eating the pink slip while severance pay is still on the table or accepting more stringent performance goals, Amazon employees can argue their case against their immediate managers in front of a panel composed of their peers one or three Amazon managers over video conference.

The move hailed as "putting an Amazon spin on the Union greviance process" in the early going has delivered the Amazonions a less than 30% success rate and an entirely new fountain of resentments to drink from.

Miss America Pageant No Longer A Pageant Or About Beautiful Women

The organizers of the Miss America pageant announced today that they will be scrapping all appearance based aspects of their contest including the evening gown and swimsuit portions (archived). The organization's chairwoman, 1989 contest winner and Fox News hostess Gretchen Carlson offered on the changes:

We are not going to judge you on your outward appearance. We want more women to know that they are welcome in this organization… We are moving it forward and evolving it in this cultural revolution…

US Sorghum Boats Looking For New Markets After China Implements Anti-Dumping Measures

Twenty ships loaded with 1.2 million tons of Sorghum are changing course after China implemented anti-dumping measures targeting the grain (archived). Chinese imports of US sorghum began only five years ago and China swiftly began purchasing nearly all US exportable sorghum as livestock fodder. These boats are in the unfortunate position of requiring an entirely new market for their product while at the same time burning precious fuel in the Pacific.

"Facebook Live" Fails To Stop Man With Gun, One Dead

A North Carolina man was shot while using Facebook's Live video feature to "out" suspected drug dealers in his community (archived). Both parties involved in the incident have felony convictions for selling cocaine, however the party armed with a firearm survived while the party armed with social media did not. The deceased's last words were:

"You on Live"

Police Chief Donnie Gay who talked to the social media wielder "on Live" minutes before the shooting offered that he though the fellow would get beat up rather than getting shot dead for recreationally outing drug dealers.

Theft Today: Djibouti Breaks Contract And Seizes Private Port

The government of Djibouti seized the Doraleh Container Terminal from UAE based DP World. In doing so the theives governing Djibouti unilaterally breached a 30 year contract they entered into with DP World in 2006 allowing the firm to develop the port out of nothing and operate the port as part of their enterprise. Operations at the port began in 2009. (archived)

Unilever Prepares To Stop Feeding Facebook And Google

Consumer goods giant Unilever is preparing to cease continuing to spend bleeding marketing dollars on advertisements through Facebook, Google, and other online platforms. Unilever Chief Marketing Officer Keith Weed is offering:

"As one of the largest advertisers in the world, we cannot have an environment where our consumers don’t trust what they see online."

"And we cannot continue to prop up a digital supply chain – one that delivers over a quarter of our advertising to our consumers – which at times is little better than a swamp in terms of its transparency"

Mainstream propagandists are interpreting this as a call for "social responsibility" on Unilever's part, but the point appears to be that Unilever can't count on Facebook and Google to deliver a return on their portion of the marketing budget.

Mayoman Squeals As Buterin's Waterfall Weakens

Oink OinkMayogendered money-man Agustín Carstens, general manager of the Bank for International Settlement, is calling Bitcoin “a combination of a bubble, a Ponzi scheme and an environmental disaster” and urges banks and regulators to "clamp down" on Bitcoin and other "cryptocurrencies" to prevent them from becoming a “threat to financial stability”. He further stated that

"If the only ‘business case’ is use for illicit or illegal transactions, central banks cannot allow such tokens to rely on much of the same institutional infrastructure that serves the overall financial system and freeload on the trust that it provides." — A homo sapien operating at a profound calorie surplus for a very long time

Pretend Bitcoin service and exchange Conbase has already blazed the path for such sentiments, charging "customers" nearly 10% of their BTC value in fees and interest per transaction. On Monday, Lloyds bank of Britain also followed suit, banning the use of credit cards to buy Bitcoin and “cryptocurrencies”, their reasoning being that customers will be unable to repay their debts due to the volatile nature of pricing.