Arkansas Facing Shortage Of Snuff Fans To Watch Executions

The US state of Arkansas is facing difficulties finding the required amount of citizen witnesses for a marathon execution session next month. State law requires that the prison director procure no fewer than six and no more than 12 citizen witnesses for each execution, and witnesses must not have a felony criminal record or be related to the condemned, evidently a problem in R-Kansas. Officials plan to perform 2 executions at a time over a 10-day period, which has prompting the condemneds' attorneys to file a petition with the U.S. Supreme court to reconsider their cases. "Executing eight men in ten days is far outside the bounds of what contemporary society finds acceptable," the petition read, and one attorney believes this is the reason why finding volunteer witnesses is proving to be a challenge. Arkansas has not performed any executions since November of 2005 following pseudo legal circlejerks over midazolam, which allegedly does not completely induce unconsciousness and allows condemned to suffer their condemnation.

Clark County Nevada Commits Three Quarter Billion In Taxpayer dollars To Stadium

Tax payers in Clark County, Nevada will be spending three quarter of a billion dollars to build a stadium following a string of questionable decisions by their elected officials. The new stadium will serve as the home of the NFL's "Raiders" football team allowing the team to flee their current residence in Oakland, California. In a typical year the team will play 8 football games at the stadium.

CEO Elizabeth Holmes Of Theranos: Please Don't Sue, Have My Shares

Elizabeth Holmes, CEO of the well connected bezzle failup Theranos, is approaching her investors with a new plea. Holmes is begging investors in the firm to not sue her and offering as compensation valueless shares from her own stake in the firm. A number of Silicon Valley rags allege that some investors are taking the offer, probably because it is less expensive to be gifted as share of nothing than it is to sue for a share of nothing. Sorry for your loss.

Dying America Firm Nearly Robbed With Own Merchandise As Vultures Swarm

Sears, already running out of things to sell came close to losing over 750,000 US dollars1 worth of jewellery when a thief attempted to rob a Washington, D.C. area store on St. Patrick's day. The allegedly Daniel E. Grant managed to find a Craftsman hammer in the store and smashed display cases after the store closed. His plans were foiled by the store's motion sensing alarms. He allegedly abandoned his loot and the hammer and attempted to flee before being apprehended and charged with two counts of commercial burglary and one count of theft after police responded. (archived)


  1. Figures were not available in an actual unit measuring value  

Fake News Interest In Jewish Center Safety Drops Precipitously After Arrest Of Second Suspect

When threats to Jewish community centers continued after the arrest of leftist fake newsman Juan Thompson, the fake news media drummed up fear of a fake white supremacist bogeyman behind continued threats. A second arrest however has entirely killed leftist enthusiasm for continuing to cover the subject. A young Israeli Jew was arrested earlier this week for what appears to be making all of the threats not made by Juan Thompson. On the day of the arrest a token amount coverage was given to the public defender assigned to the suspect. Notably, the court appointed attorney is arguing the arrested party is not criminally culpable due to mental defect.

Instead the fake news media has redirected their effort into doubling down on their assertion that "America First" is a Russian slogan that supports German National Socialism. This continues showing how the Fake News media is hopelessly disconnected from the reality of how little America, particularly white America, cares about Jews and other minorities.1


  1. And forgetting that there are attitudes far less friendly than indifference.  

More State Run Job Boards Hacked

Further reports are emerging states other than Vermont had their government run job boards hacked as well. Boards in Deleware and Illinois, both named "JobLink" have been compromised for 200,000 and 1.4 million job seeker's sorry for your loss respectively. It should be safe to assume other states with a "JobLink" service have had theirs hacked as well.

USG.NSA Head Rogers Perjured Self On Eavesdropping

During a hearing on Monday Mike Rogers, head of the USG.NSA testified along side FBI Director James Comey that US President Donald Trump and his team were emphatically not eavesdropped upon. This was followed on Wednesday with the revelation from House Intelligence Committee chair that not only was there tremendous eavesdropping, the traditional redaction and masking of names was not done before the fruits of eavesdropping upon Trump were disseminated to political operatives.

The flensing of the legacy "Deep State" is gaining momentum as Rogers clearly perjured himself while James Comey at the very least violated his duty of candor while testifying.

Relics Of American "Great Again" Found In Mexico

The jerseys worn by Patriots quarterback Tom Brady during Super Bowl LI were located in Mexico after it was taken from the locker room by a member of the "international media" after the game. Super Bowl LI was a passion play in which Tom Brady and his New England Patriots defeated the Atlanta Falcons despite many protestations from the fake sports media that such an accomplishment is impossible. This mirrors US President Donald Trump's victory on November 9th despite fake news media protestations that such an accomplishment was impossible. This parallel makes Tom Brady's Super Bowl worn jerseys lesser holy relics of the coming of The Great Again.

Armed Guard At German Grocer Kills Man In Saint Louis

Over the weekend an armed guard at a colonial location of the German Grocery giant Aldi killed a customer suspected of shoplifting at an Aldi outpost in North Saint Louis City. The suspect, killed over store branded groceries was pronounced dead at the scene. This shooting follows a Friday meeting between German chancellor Angela Merkel and US President Donald Trump where the two differed on issues of globalization and the meaning of the word bilateral. It is unknown how many US locations of the German Globalization Grocer Aldi employ armed agents to protect their bounty of off brand products.