Boeing Production Hit By Ransomware Using USG.NSA Exploits

Reports are emerging that aerospace giant Boeing's production process has been crippled by malware utilizing exploits farmed by the United States NSA. According to local media reports the ransomware outbreak has crippled commercial airline production equipment and an effect on military products production is likely though unmentioned in the popular press (archived).

Ecuador Cuts Communications From Assange As Brits Go On Tilt

The Embassy of Ecuador in London has cut off communications between Julian Assange and the outside world following pressure from NATO member states. Recently the sublethal poisoning of a British Spy in London with a common nerve agent has been used as a pretext for the United Kingdom to pressure its allies into isolating Russia and other percieved enemies. The full text of Ecuador's announcement is below:

COMUNICADO OFICIAL

28 de marzo de 2018

EL GOBIERNO DE ECUADOR SUSPENDE LAS COMUNICACIONES DE JULIAN ASSANGE

El Gobierno de Ecuador suspendió de los sistemas que permiten a Julian Assange comunicarse con el exterior desde la embajada ecuatoriana en Londres, en donde el ciudadano permanece en situación de protección internacional desde hace seis años debido al riesgo que corre su vida e integridad.

La medida fue adoptada ante el incumplimiento por parte de Assange del compromiso escrito que asumió con el Gobierno a finales de 2017, por el que se obligaba a no emitir mensajes que supusieran una injerencia en relación a otros Estados.

El Gobierno de Ecuador advierte de que el comportamiento de Assange, con sus mensajes a través de las redes sociales, pone en riesgo las buenas relaciones que el país mantiene con Reino Unido, con el resto de los Estados de la Unión Europea y otras naciones. Por todo ello, para prevenir potenciales perjuicios, la embajada en Londres interrumpió este 27 de marzo las comunicaciones al exterior a las que tiene acceso Assange.

El Ejecutivo mantiene además abiena la vía a la adopción de nuevas medidas ante el incumplimiento del compromiso por parte de Assange.

"Developed" Norway Lacks Means To Receive Imports

News has emerged this weekend that Norway, a country that consistently tops development indices as compiled by pantsuits, lacks the infrastructure to recieve imported cars. Elon Musk's Tesla Motors has been frustrated by the lack of transporters sufficiently competent to move their product from ports of entry to customers (archived). Incidents include cars being crushed during transport due to collapse of the trailer carrying them and numerous interdictions of shipments by police leading to substantial delays following failed safety inspections.

USG Whispers Pleas Of "War On Terror" And "Special Operations Command" In MikroTik Router Shitware Case

In the absence of firm admissions of guilt, known USG influence outlets including Conde Nast publications are pleaing that the malware pushed into phuctorable MikroTik routers was part of a US Special Operations Command anti-Terrorism effort (archived, archived). Presumably this is part of the terrorist Pantsuit USG campaign to creating dialogue points for shifting the overton window on shitware.

Ledger "Hardware Wallet" Backdoored By Child Who Releases Proof Of Concept Attack

Saleem Rashid has published a vulnerability report on the "Ledger Nano S" hardware wallet (archived). The nature of the vulnerability thorougly counters marketing and damage control PR offered by the firm and it's CEO Eric Larchevêque. This incident once again demonstrates that magic totems are no substitute for hygiene.

Saif Ghaddafi Attempting Libyan Presidential Campaign 7 Years After Pantsuit Murdered His Father And Plunged Libya Into Chaos

Seven years after Pantsuit Hillary Rodham Clinton threw Libya into chaos and caused the murder of Libyan leader Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, son Saif Al-Islam Gaddafi is attempting a presidential campaign to bring stability back to Libya. The 45 year old scion of the late Libyan leader is rumoured to be in exile successfully evading all manner of "summons" and "indictments" including an in absentia death sentence ordered by a local pantsuit puppet court (archived). Until June 2017 Saif Gaddafi had been continusly in the custody of the local militia which captured him in 2011. Said militia refused to carry out the July 2015 in absentia death sentence and released Gaddafi for reasons uncertain at present.

NSA's Payload for the 'Phuctorable' MikroTik Routers Found

Kaspersky Inc has published an analysis (archived) of a MS Windows rootkit, therein nicknamed "Slingshot".

The item exhibits the traditional smell of USG-authored shitware, e.g. validly-signed Windows drivers for the persistence layer. However the more interesting aspect is that it is spread via infected routers, of a type which, astonishingly even for consumer shitware, forces the execution of a x86 Windows binary for initial configuration.

An infected router dutifully augments this configurator with a rootkit installer; the rootkit, in turn, contains the typical keylogger and saved-password-collector, network topology probe, etc. components.

The more interesting and "unmentioned/unmentionable" aspect is however the identity of the router's manufacturer:

MikroTik. That very same Latvian USG shill company that's been deploying routers with nonfunctional RNGs and trivially-Phuctorable SSH keys for its entire existence. And dutifully spreads obfuscatory squid ink whenever the danger of public exposure seems acute.

US FBI And Canadian Mounties Kill Startup After Entrapment Campaign

The CEO of cellular phone hardware startup Phantom Secure was arrested following a joint entrapment campaign conducted by the US FBI and Canadian Mounties (archived). Phantom Secure specialized in reselling Blackberry phones that had been substantially improved through the removal of frivilous shit like cameras and microphones while loading the improved devices with a more mininalist operating system image.

Mining Rig Heist In Iceland: Arrests Made But No Material Recovered

Reports are emerging that allege 600 Bitcoin mining rigs and other supporting materials were stolen from a data center in Iceland between December 2017 and January 2018 (archived). No materials have been recovered and out of 11 arrests related to the investigation, local police are only keeping two suspects in custody.

Favorable electricity prices in Iceland have set the island up to be one of the first regions where power consumption for Bitcoin mining exceeds power consumption for other purposes.

Dublin Looters Destroy Grocery Store

lidlLooters in Dublin, Ireland appropriated a piece of construction equipment and removed structural material from a Lidl grocery store to achieve ingress and egress from the premises (archived). Reports out of Ireland and Airstrip One suggest a state of chaos amid routine winter weather self declared local authorities are apparently no longer capable of handling.