Existence Of Big Botnet Made From Small Routers Announced

A great many types of vulnerability-by-design in consumer routers have been public for a rather long time: Linksys, MikroTik, NETGEAR, TP-Link, and other vendors, have — for the entire history of this product type — been selling boxes that are, essentially, public toilets, free for the remote taking by any reasonably-intelligent teenager.

It appears that this "news" has finally percolated down through the drains and into the dark cellars where USG gendarmerie dwell. As part of their regular work to force the replacement of systems containing old, burned NSA-authored vulnerabilities, with new and fresh ones — USG.FBI have recently turned their attention to consumer routers.

The lively petri dish of self-propagating shitware now commonly known to be dwelling in the NSA victims' home routers, has been officially blamed on Putin's omnipotent DNC-diddling brigade. Respectable, non-terrorist USG subjects will, presumably, be issued new, "clean" routers, in the nearest future.

The burning of these vulnerabilities was handled by having "researchers" affiliated with Cisco unveil the presence of a botnet populated by ~500,000 small routers commandeered by an artful piece of malware which persists across device reboots (archived). Meanwhile, Cisco continues having its own profound and self-inflicted security issues.

US Destroyer And Russian Warplanes Engage In Intimate Activities In Syrian Waters

The latest reports on the situation in Syria indicate the Arleigh Burke class destroyer USS Donald Cook1 is in Syrian waters where it is being intimately buzzed by Russian warplanes. With diplomatic channels between the US and Russia dramatically reduced following British aggitation, Pantsuit just might get their war if this dance continues. Make Green, Great Again!


  1. Launched May 1997 

Duterte Receives Support From Russia And China As USG.STATE Spurns Another Longtime Ally

Pinoy President Rodrigo Duterte has praised Russia and China for providing arms for his forces to use in their struggle against Islamist rebels in the south of the Phillipines (archived). The Phillipines has until recently aligned itself strongly with the US, but relations have soured as the Great Again free USG State Department has worked to thwart Duterte's efforts to try making the Pinoys great. Duterte further aired his concerns that the USG.CIA with its own anti-Great faction may move to assassinate him.

China Raises Tariffs On US Agricultural Exports

In response to economically nationalist moves made by the US Trump administration, China has moved to impose tariffs on a number of US agricultural products including pork and ginseng. Notably absent from tariffs at this time are soybeans. With Brazilian soybeans demanding a price premium for their higher dry weight protein content, a tariff on US soybeans would have likely have ended their marketability in China.

Boeing Production Hit By Ransomware Using USG.NSA Exploits

Reports are emerging that aerospace giant Boeing's production process has been crippled by malware utilizing exploits farmed by the United States NSA. According to local media reports the ransomware outbreak has crippled commercial airline production equipment and an effect on military products production is likely though unmentioned in the popular press (archived).

Ecuador Cuts Communications From Assange As Brits Go On Tilt

The Embassy of Ecuador in London has cut off communications between Julian Assange and the outside world following pressure from NATO member states. Recently the sublethal poisoning of a British Spy in London with a common nerve agent has been used as a pretext for the United Kingdom to pressure its allies into isolating Russia and other percieved enemies. The full text of Ecuador's announcement is below:

COMUNICADO OFICIAL

28 de marzo de 2018

EL GOBIERNO DE ECUADOR SUSPENDE LAS COMUNICACIONES DE JULIAN ASSANGE

El Gobierno de Ecuador suspendió de los sistemas que permiten a Julian Assange comunicarse con el exterior desde la embajada ecuatoriana en Londres, en donde el ciudadano permanece en situación de protección internacional desde hace seis años debido al riesgo que corre su vida e integridad.

La medida fue adoptada ante el incumplimiento por parte de Assange del compromiso escrito que asumió con el Gobierno a finales de 2017, por el que se obligaba a no emitir mensajes que supusieran una injerencia en relación a otros Estados.

El Gobierno de Ecuador advierte de que el comportamiento de Assange, con sus mensajes a través de las redes sociales, pone en riesgo las buenas relaciones que el país mantiene con Reino Unido, con el resto de los Estados de la Unión Europea y otras naciones. Por todo ello, para prevenir potenciales perjuicios, la embajada en Londres interrumpió este 27 de marzo las comunicaciones al exterior a las que tiene acceso Assange.

El Ejecutivo mantiene además abiena la vía a la adopción de nuevas medidas ante el incumplimiento del compromiso por parte de Assange.

"Developed" Norway Lacks Means To Receive Imports

News has emerged this weekend that Norway, a country that consistently tops development indices as compiled by pantsuits, lacks the infrastructure to recieve imported cars. Elon Musk's Tesla Motors has been frustrated by the lack of transporters sufficiently competent to move their product from ports of entry to customers (archived). Incidents include cars being crushed during transport due to collapse of the trailer carrying them and numerous interdictions of shipments by police leading to substantial delays following failed safety inspections.

USG Whispers Pleas Of "War On Terror" And "Special Operations Command" In MikroTik Router Shitware Case

In the absence of firm admissions of guilt, known USG influence outlets including Conde Nast publications are pleaing that the malware pushed into phuctorable MikroTik routers was part of a US Special Operations Command anti-Terrorism effort (archived, archived). Presumably this is part of the terrorist Pantsuit USG campaign to creating dialogue points for shifting the overton window on shitware.

Ledger "Hardware Wallet" Backdoored By Child Who Releases Proof Of Concept Attack

Saleem Rashid has published a vulnerability report on the "Ledger Nano S" hardware wallet (archived). The nature of the vulnerability thorougly counters marketing and damage control PR offered by the firm and it's CEO Eric Larchevêque. This incident once again demonstrates that magic totems are no substitute for hygiene.