US Securities Regulator Denies Another "Paper Bitcoin" Trading Instrument

The United States Securities and Exchange Commission (WOT:unpersons) has denied a petition by a venture calling itself "SolidX" (WOT:nonpersons) to trade a paper security simulating Bitcoin on US markets. This follows the same group's denial of a similar petition by the Winkelvii (WOT:unregistered eukaryote) to list a paper simulated Bitcoin instrument. Sorry for your laws.

Arkansas Facing Shortage Of Snuff Fans To Watch Executions

The US state of Arkansas is facing difficulties finding the required amount of citizen witnesses for a marathon execution session next month. State law requires that the prison director procure no fewer than six and no more than 12 citizen witnesses for each execution, and witnesses must not have a felony criminal record or be related to the condemned, evidently a problem in R-Kansas. Officials plan to perform 2 executions at a time over a 10-day period, which has prompting the condemneds' attorneys to file a petition with the U.S. Supreme court to reconsider their cases. "Executing eight men in ten days is far outside the bounds of what contemporary society finds acceptable," the petition read, and one attorney believes this is the reason why finding volunteer witnesses is proving to be a challenge. Arkansas has not performed any executions since November of 2005 following pseudo legal circlejerks over midazolam, which allegedly does not completely induce unconsciousness and allows condemned to suffer their condemnation.

The Californian Dilemma Approaching Peak LOL

The People's Republic of KKKalifornia has found itself in a pickle. While KKKalifornia is actively seeking to secede from the United States because of President Trump's election, KKKalifornia's government is desperately pleading for certain portions of the Trump agenda to be enacted. Namely KKKalifornia wants the portion of The Great Again that involves rebuilding America's infrastructure as the Cali bois who have neglected their home into ruin reject the rest of The Great Again. The arid desert territory's roads are buckling, dams are failing, and the recent, rare deluge which filled their reservoirs is set to break even more of their stuff when the soil dries.

With one hand KKKalifornia neglects its infrastructure while devoting effort to legislating cow flatulence.1 KKKalifornia's crisis is that if one wants a part of The Great Again, one has to accept all of The Great Again. Can KKKalifornia summon the honesty necessary to make amends with Trump and America, or is The Great Again going to pass the once Golden State on by?


  1. And further exports alfalfa to China while pleading thirst.  

US President Trump Hosts Press Conference And Reviews Action Packed First Month

United States President Donald Trump held his first solo press conference on the job and offered a comprehensive review of his action packed first month in office. Trump promised further action in the coming weeks as he celebrated a busy first month in spite of the fake news media, hostile career bureaucrats, and a slate of department secretaries delayed by an obstructionist legislature. A transcript of the press conference is presented below: Continue reading

US National Security Advisor Michael Flynn Blackmailed Into Resignation By US "Deep State"

US National Security Advisor Michael Flynn submitted his resignation tonight after being blackmailed by unnamed elements within the "National Security" bureaucracy. An unidentified group or individual with access to wire tapped phone conservations of Flynn's leaked insinuations to the self described press. Flynn erred in his handling of the blackmail by failing to be honest with Vice President Mike Pence. This would constitute the first substantive blow to the Trump administration by the "deep state" bureaucracy, but it had the benefit of removing the least reliable member of Trump's cabinet. Pence in our time.

PBOC Coordinates Action Among Chinese fiat/Bitcoin Interfaces Again: Anti-Money Laundering Being Pushed

The People's Bank of China has again coordinated with a number of Chinese fiat/Bitcoin interfaces to implement new regulatory requirements. This time anti-money laundering suggestions have lead to 30 day suspensions of Bitcoin withdrawals at Huboi and OKCoin while they explore their compliance. Withdrawals of legacy fiat currency and deposits remain available at these interfaces. Other measure being implemented across Chinese fiat/Bitcoin interfaces involve an end to zero fee trading.

The continued interest by the People's Republic's central bank towards Bitcoin this year along with the surprise emergence of Chinese monophone pool operators from nowhere with allegiance to ongoing network coup attempts demonstrates an increasing amount of statal aggression by China towards Bitcoin.

Trump To CNN Spammer: "You Are Fake News"

During a press conference on the measures he would take as President to divest himself of business related conflicts of interest by turning his business over to his adult sons and putting his remaining assets in a trust, United States President Elect Donald Trump was accosted by fake news reporters with salacious rumours.

The salacious rumors involve allegations the President Elect is being blackmailed over sexual perversions by Russia and were taken from a report prepared by a former British Intelligence official as opposition research for the Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign. Reportedly a memo based on that report was presented to the President Elect as an example of disinformation, though the socialist leaning press is running with the report as Gospel.

Buzzfat published the allegations ahead of the press conference, after the allegations had apparently spent weeks circulating amongst the lamestream media who were all too chickenshit to pull the trigger on this wet dream of theirs. CNN immediately followed Buzzfat. By the end of the day the context for the allegations as sample disinformation had counterleaked and the liberal media's Chuck Todd was accusing Buzzfat boss Ben Smith of spreading fake news.

Thusly, the President Elect denied a spammer at CNN the chance to ask a question by saying:

You are fake news.

Pence in our time.

Backpage.com Stops Serving Adults

Backpage.com has officially shut down its adult service page section as of Tue, with a link from the pages leading to a message regarding US censorship – hours before US Senate hearing on the site.

When browsing attempting to browse to any of the adult services section, one is greeted with this message:

CENSORED
The government has unconstitutionally censored this content. What happened? Find out
Protect internet free speech. Visit Center for Democracy and Technology, Electronic Frontier Foundation, and Cato Institute.
Use your social media to support #FREESPEECH.
Donate to Children of the Night, an organization dedicated to rescuing children from prostitution.

The site has been attacked by the Senate morality police before, leading to a brief shutdown in 2010. Links to various statements from Backpage officials could be found under the sites media section.