USG.MIL Pursues Single Provider "Cloud" Computing Contract

Substantial butthurt is coming out of the USG Department of bagholding as the US Department of Defense looks to award a 10 year single provider "cloud" computing contract (archived). The feedbeasts marketing commercial "cloud" computes are already crying foul that only one of them will get chosen for the priviledge of serving the most gullible customer in history.

Russian Air Defense Hardware Getting Pretty Good At Intercepting US Missiles

Overnight the US, Airstrip One, and France launched missile strikes against Syria which were condemned by both the Russians and Chinese. Out of 103 missiles launched, 71 were reportedly intercepted leaving 32 to strike targets. This move comes 373 days after Trump last directed US cruise missiles towards a Syrian airbase's pussy. Syria and Russia are reporting that this attack was "absorbed" with personel having been withdrawn from the target sites days in advance while the US insists no warning of the attack was offered.

Duterte Receives Support From Russia And China As USG.STATE Spurns Another Longtime Ally

Pinoy President Rodrigo Duterte has praised Russia and China for providing arms for his forces to use in their struggle against Islamist rebels in the south of the Phillipines (archived). The Phillipines has until recently aligned itself strongly with the US, but relations have soured as the Great Again free USG State Department has worked to thwart Duterte's efforts to try making the Pinoys great. Duterte further aired his concerns that the USG.CIA with its own anti-Great faction may move to assassinate him.

Gun Free London's Murder Rate Passes New York And Reaches For Detroit

Stabbings in London have taken Airstrip One's capital past New York and on towards Detroit as murder rises the city (archived). The British response to the surge in violence has been to consider banning businesses from delivering knives to residencial addresses and charging a man who defended himself during a break in with murder because his assailant happened to have died after being repelled in a successful defense of the residence (archived). The murder charges are likely an effort to boost the murder conviction rate because that man defending his home was one of the few the police could identify as having stabbed another person.

Between increasing domestic challenges and pending fallout from inciting international aggression beyond their station, Britain continues to become more like Somalia than any historical Britain since the advent of sail.

Venezuela's Education Minister: Eat Less If You Want To See Food In Supermarkets

Venezuela's education minister and former Vice President Elias Jaua blames empty grocery store shelves on his fellow Venezolanos and Venezolanas eating too much (archived). This was accompanied by his declaration that:

Thank God there is a Bolivarian Revolution and our people have a right to eat meat, chicken, milk, that they did not have ten, 14 years ago

Meanwhile the "right to eat" won by the Bolivarian Revolution has resulted in a net drop in Venezuela's per capita human mass of 11 kilograms. This resembles the manner in which Obamacare substantially reduced access to healthcare in the United States.

China Raises Tariffs On US Agricultural Exports

In response to economically nationalist moves made by the US Trump administration, China has moved to impose tariffs on a number of US agricultural products including pork and ginseng. Notably absent from tariffs at this time are soybeans. With Brazilian soybeans demanding a price premium for their higher dry weight protein content, a tariff on US soybeans would have likely have ended their marketability in China.

Gold Diggers Take Grace Mugabe's Farm As Precedent Of Uncompensated Land Seizure Turns on The Mugabes

Reports out of the former Rhodesia indicate that recently deposed first lady Grace Mugabe's farm has a pest control problem with numerous orchards and fields uprooted by goldminers (archived). Mugabe and her husband's regime oversaw the uncompensated seizure of land including the farm currently occupied by an estimated 400 gold diggers from white farmers.

Boeing Production Hit By Ransomware Using USG.NSA Exploits

Reports are emerging that aerospace giant Boeing's production process has been crippled by malware utilizing exploits farmed by the United States NSA. According to local media reports the ransomware outbreak has crippled commercial airline production equipment and an effect on military products production is likely though unmentioned in the popular press (archived).

Ecuador Cuts Communications From Assange As Brits Go On Tilt

The Embassy of Ecuador in London has cut off communications between Julian Assange and the outside world following pressure from NATO member states. Recently the sublethal poisoning of a British Spy in London with a common nerve agent has been used as a pretext for the United Kingdom to pressure its allies into isolating Russia and other percieved enemies. The full text of Ecuador's announcement is below:

COMUNICADO OFICIAL

28 de marzo de 2018

EL GOBIERNO DE ECUADOR SUSPENDE LAS COMUNICACIONES DE JULIAN ASSANGE

El Gobierno de Ecuador suspendió de los sistemas que permiten a Julian Assange comunicarse con el exterior desde la embajada ecuatoriana en Londres, en donde el ciudadano permanece en situación de protección internacional desde hace seis años debido al riesgo que corre su vida e integridad.

La medida fue adoptada ante el incumplimiento por parte de Assange del compromiso escrito que asumió con el Gobierno a finales de 2017, por el que se obligaba a no emitir mensajes que supusieran una injerencia en relación a otros Estados.

El Gobierno de Ecuador advierte de que el comportamiento de Assange, con sus mensajes a través de las redes sociales, pone en riesgo las buenas relaciones que el país mantiene con Reino Unido, con el resto de los Estados de la Unión Europea y otras naciones. Por todo ello, para prevenir potenciales perjuicios, la embajada en Londres interrumpió este 27 de marzo las comunicaciones al exterior a las que tiene acceso Assange.

El Ejecutivo mantiene además abiena la vía a la adopción de nuevas medidas ante el incumplimiento del compromiso por parte de Assange.