Trump Issues Ultimatum To GOP Senators: Start Selling!

This week, following yet another failure by legacy legislative members of the GOP to end Obamacare, United States President Donald Trump summoned GOP members of the Senate1 to a luncheon where he issued them an ultimatum. They must begin selling! President Trump even singled out a Nevada Senator, Doubting Dean Heller, and challenged Heller on his presumed desire to remain a Senator (archived). Only eight of the thirty three US Senate seats being contested in the 2018 mid term election are currently held by the GOP. This places non-compliant, legacy, GOP Senators like Doubting Dean vulnerable to challengers during this coming spring's primary season as Trump's GOP moves towards greater purity and ability.

The luncheon's lesson is that in Trump's GOP, faith without works is now dead. Private professions of faith and muted announcements supporting the cause are no longer enough. GOP legislators must begin the work of selling the Trumpreich's agenda or they will be purged as the party resolves its schisms. Eight years of Hussein Bahamas, where the GOP existed as a hollow and lazy opposition party doing little other than serving to legitimize pantsuit's pretensions of purpose, allowed Trump to capture the party. Now that Trump has the GOP, he will have his way with the GOP.


  1. Minus the lich John McCain who has been revealed to have aggressive brain cancer. Presumably McCain has failed to maintain personal possession of his phylactery.  

Dead alt-Soros No Longer Effective In Protecting Daughter From Truth

Fear of the late alt-Soros Zbigniew Brzezinski has now faded to the point that it can no longer protect his daughter from the fact that she is not very smart and has now become old. In a tweet United States President Donald Trump told the story about how Brzezinski's daughter and her pet, the failed congressman Joe Scarborough, attempted to abusively parlay their early appearance of Trump support into a quid pro quo favor trading relationship in spite of the President's ethical reservations. Since the incident the late alt-Soros' daughter and her pet have dedicated their talkshow to spewing an unending stream of animus and resentment at the president elect.

Legions of old women, pantsuit loyalists all of them, proceeded to wail about how wrong it was for Trump to shame the old hag for bleeding all over his resort while she recovered from cosmetic surgery intended to conceal her advanced age. Brzezinski's daughter entered an engagement to marry with her talk show co-host Scarborough once the elder Brzezinski's failing health satisfied Scarborough's concerns that the alt-Soros was in fact a mortal homo sapien and not a lich or other undead eldritch horror.

8 Year Old Dorm Building Explodes On US Campus

Wounded dorm buildingA natural gas explosion gutted the 8 year old Richmond Residential College dormitory at Kentucky's Murray State University. This is the second major headline grabbing fire safety failure of a government owned facility for warehousing persons this month, though claimed casualties were limited to one wounded body due to the summer break.

Information on the building's anticipated lifespan at the time it was designed in unavailable. There is a high probability that the state run University will try pass blame for the dormitory's failure off on either plumbing materials or the plumbing profession.

US Securities Regulator Denies Another "Paper Bitcoin" Trading Instrument

The United States Securities and Exchange Commission (WOT:unpersons) has denied a petition by a venture calling itself "SolidX" (WOT:nonpersons) to trade a paper security simulating Bitcoin on US markets. This follows the same group's denial of a similar petition by the Winkelvii (WOT:unregistered eukaryote) to list a paper simulated Bitcoin instrument. Sorry for your laws.

Arkansas Facing Shortage Of Snuff Fans To Watch Executions

The US state of Arkansas is facing difficulties finding the required amount of citizen witnesses for a marathon execution session next month. State law requires that the prison director procure no fewer than six and no more than 12 citizen witnesses for each execution, and witnesses must not have a felony criminal record or be related to the condemned, evidently a problem in R-Kansas. Officials plan to perform 2 executions at a time over a 10-day period, which has prompting the condemneds' attorneys to file a petition with the U.S. Supreme court to reconsider their cases. "Executing eight men in ten days is far outside the bounds of what contemporary society finds acceptable," the petition read, and one attorney believes this is the reason why finding volunteer witnesses is proving to be a challenge. Arkansas has not performed any executions since November of 2005 following pseudo legal circlejerks over midazolam, which allegedly does not completely induce unconsciousness and allows condemned to suffer their condemnation.

The Californian Dilemma Approaching Peak LOL

The People's Republic of KKKalifornia has found itself in a pickle. While KKKalifornia is actively seeking to secede from the United States because of President Trump's election, KKKalifornia's government is desperately pleading for certain portions of the Trump agenda to be enacted. Namely KKKalifornia wants the portion of The Great Again that involves rebuilding America's infrastructure as the Cali bois who have neglected their home into ruin reject the rest of The Great Again. The arid desert territory's roads are buckling, dams are failing, and the recent, rare deluge which filled their reservoirs is set to break even more of their stuff when the soil dries.

With one hand KKKalifornia neglects its infrastructure while devoting effort to legislating cow flatulence.1 KKKalifornia's crisis is that if one wants a part of The Great Again, one has to accept all of The Great Again. Can KKKalifornia summon the honesty necessary to make amends with Trump and America, or is The Great Again going to pass the once Golden State on by?


  1. And further exports alfalfa to China while pleading thirst.  

US President Trump Hosts Press Conference And Reviews Action Packed First Month

United States President Donald Trump held his first solo press conference on the job and offered a comprehensive review of his action packed first month in office. Trump promised further action in the coming weeks as he celebrated a busy first month in spite of the fake news media, hostile career bureaucrats, and a slate of department secretaries delayed by an obstructionist legislature. A transcript of the press conference is presented below: Continue reading

US National Security Advisor Michael Flynn Blackmailed Into Resignation By US "Deep State"

US National Security Advisor Michael Flynn submitted his resignation tonight after being blackmailed by unnamed elements within the "National Security" bureaucracy. An unidentified group or individual with access to wire tapped phone conservations of Flynn's leaked insinuations to the self described press. Flynn erred in his handling of the blackmail by failing to be honest with Vice President Mike Pence. This would constitute the first substantive blow to the Trump administration by the "deep state" bureaucracy, but it had the benefit of removing the least reliable member of Trump's cabinet. Pence in our time.

PBOC Coordinates Action Among Chinese fiat/Bitcoin Interfaces Again: Anti-Money Laundering Being Pushed

The People's Bank of China has again coordinated with a number of Chinese fiat/Bitcoin interfaces to implement new regulatory requirements. This time anti-money laundering suggestions have lead to 30 day suspensions of Bitcoin withdrawals at Huboi and OKCoin while they explore their compliance. Withdrawals of legacy fiat currency and deposits remain available at these interfaces. Other measure being implemented across Chinese fiat/Bitcoin interfaces involve an end to zero fee trading.

The continued interest by the People's Republic's central bank towards Bitcoin this year along with the surprise emergence of Chinese monophone pool operators from nowhere with allegiance to ongoing network coup attempts demonstrates an increasing amount of statal aggression by China towards Bitcoin.