And In Other Unhappenings Today

You may recall the recent instance where Phuctor schweizered SecLab@TUBerlin1, an event that was then discreetely unhappened under the pretense that supposedly something marked as "Signing key" was merely an (unmarked) exercise, intended as a target for kids to practice their factoring skills. Anyone except Putin2 finds this explanation supremely convincing, especially because it is very common for training exercises to spuriously come in the exact form and markings of live munitions, but with convenient indication of which items to pick as part of the exercise (the factorable ones being conveniently placed last in an enumeration labelled "2006", "2007", "2008", "2009", "2010", "2011", "2012", "2013", "2014", "2015" and "2016"). Only terrorists would use the opposite approach, where effort is directed instead towards marking training exercises for distinction from the real McCoy and towards not telegraphing the correct choice.

Less than two weeks later which is to say about an hour ago, lost among a continuing shower of cheap VPS hosters, home routers etcetera…

deedbot phuctor.nosuchlabs.com/gpgkey/A2BC32C93E2CCD68BD6B50936177E24EFB482DB894713D1D9193F41CEA2AB7B1 << Recent Phuctorings – Phuctored: 1307…6977 divides RSA Moduli belonging to '93.174.104.41 (ssh-rsa key from 93.174.104.41 (services.euclides.nl. NL)).

You may perhaps be excused if you don't know who Euclides Automatisering B.V. of 16 Bredestraat 3632 AZ Loenen aan de Vecht is. They do.

Phuctor schweizered SecLab@TUBerlin


  1. BND's amateur drafting club. 

  2. Who a) doesn't understand how the world works and b) may have manipulated the US elections. These claims are neither contradictory nor do they disqualify the emitter from a Nobel prize. On the contrary. 

Today In Accidental Insecurity

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Phuctor reported popping keys 6EF3D2C0BA64734A3C0425B21EB0CAA26FE81A7C and EFD9448A5FE501B107C32AD15AB4C1237924BE94 at 20:32:51 GMT yesterday. 

The shared factor is

3100568694595076734686979820330253089614865506425934747234722044220976925441335217738426027833105034245
6445126481343091027696015873408329180286505324090208791356401685488632594573639626011967028852284987701
0967115630719364594515514565864083475198410533100792088012571668579091700397319607658923685438658044430
5286529066624341477320563024789004984638956787358622173523575700630550890562046936247939825607494279930
3909984882283079716566423141876709031507883553455452314931202170711277559709938918157034624428381091843
733176552634481080290679291021661954570523305447050841482495845936945694373844932850748050349261100319

which appears to be a prime number.

The exponent and other metadata associated with the keys seem intact. Apparently the modules in question belong to the 2016 and 2015 signing keys of an entity identifying itself as "seclab@airgapped.sec.t-labs.tu-berlin.de", which in the biosphere maps to TU Berlin (Technische Universitat Berlin)'s "Institut Fur Softwaretechnick und Theoretische Informatik"'s IT Security Lab, an entity with long running connections to the BND (Germany's version of the NSA) as well as a substantial trail of published CompSec papers. 

The keys had been submitted that same day at 13:50:45.642313 via the self-serve web interface, and were factored immediately thereafter because of the shared factor.

Peace in our time.
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: GnuPG v1.4.10 (GNU/Linux)

iQIcBAEBAgAGBQJYKhfbAAoJEFq0wSN5JL6UDfkQAJ7gcI1tNyYZimZ1N9BxRXu3
tftSv1aPGe8zEUYzZVSrk6dIp9sm0AjqxtDG56179Gz+RkQ8ydHgKd6qOwHOPz+I
gsjqB9uU8XqxH83mN33JjW70I7/ZGH/S+H1e+zxeBzORwaXdA2KEXw4xaypU4mzV
IcOP/xIfrN7+aoe0DeEgRsvDEBsJA3GnN90P3T5VbHNrOQZuy6kbYi63FRDWXT5j
h3FZ25TL5WajBorz0Klzf3UN5kV59TpQsXmQj3jtgeG0Mxaq328qnHGDxIIGIvXJ
wFojfkdJUfXg6AMW30txdCEfGb90SOiDxLtVCyXBiONhZ0b6Y/EAqU33bPVIoN3S
hksBKH4OA4IFPTnh1rJhiC9jAehQFiBj/NzXAsAZsDsYHK0XirQ4jxsmPmywMIRR
SAy1j+RgXla9XPUyj7Ha8Zgmd+BDpKUqj8CRVdQe+PDNYTk/J7TYFRLCEw9rZ6Tp
671/xDb7CDpnXJperJCts5L9k71ELmvg2FyPoQMitmhKFV73VXup4kfcylYOhJIP
qRRtS+2VyRKetfaNZ4pACqy1BGivkAtLMZrojQppAAD/K0axLBGFhkxlmsWJdrI0
q5piCtxQeCb+VtwFqN9ei/eu9YMKkn9RIxZdwhCNmVkBWcOZGYlYa80pzKRuJzFL
FYxTT+UTb7lJr9tuabVp
=aVsu
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

PS the pubkey is here for your amusement : 

-----BEGIN PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----
Version: GnuPG v1.4.10 (GNU/Linux)
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=I1WF
-----END PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----

Merkel Regime To Broaden Issuance Of Driving Bans In Germany

Reports are emerging that the Angela Merkel regime in Germany is prepared to push through new legislation that would make drivers license revocation a common sanction for non-driving related "crimes" against the Zher majesty the EuroFührer Angela Merkel. While much of the public justification for the new measures involve detering youth crime (archived), suggested offenses include failing to pay child support as an absentee parent. Naturally the measure would be used to punish dissidents as "hate speech" would be similarly subject to driving license revocation. The new motoring sanctions would be levelled in combination with the EuroFührer's most popular sanction, the suspended prison sentence. This adds to the threat of arbitrary imprisonment for violating the sentence's suspension1 further punishment in the form of travel restrictions. Sorry for your laws, but papers please.


  1. Because why judicially imprison someone after trial when you can administratively imprison them later.  

Bayer Bidding For Monsanto

With Monsanto's long term prospects as an independent concern looking bleak, far better diversified German chemical giant Bayer made an unsolicited 46 Billion United States dollar bid to acquire Monsanto in an effort to diversify further. With Monsanto's value dropping as its enforceable patent portfolio shrinks Bayer would be acquiring a steady revenue stream and the means by which to continue Monsanto's business, but in a way that might leverage Bayer's own sizeable patent portfolio for synergy in those backwater markets that still recognize the fiat patent system. As Bayer already pirated the genes from a bacteria that breaks down its new herbicide "Liberty"1 that would present a far more marketable continuation of Monsanto's "Roundup Ready"(TM)(R) brand than the present, momentarily independent Monsanto's move to add Dicamba resistance.

Glufosinate has no pre-emergent action. Unlike Dicamba it is purely a post-emergent herbicide which creates the interesting question of just how many herbicide resistant traits is Bayer willing to throw into a single crop at a time, and how will they pace the market releases to keep their patent extortion funds rolling in? Sorry for your loss.


  1. Less ambiguously known as Glufosinate  

Mercedes Joins German Carmaker Emissions Train

Never content to allow trends to pass it by without a full-throttle attempt at keeping up – be it luxury SUVs, hybrid cars, or überfragmentation of market niches – German firm Daimler AG, which oversees automaker Mercedes-Benz, has just been implicated in its own nitrous oxide (NOx) emissions scandal, following the lead of compatriot Volkswagen and overseas upstart Tesla Motors. Continue reading

Greek Finance Minister Varoufakis Resigns in Failure

Greek banks continue to struggle beneath the onerous burden of financial debt imposed by their left-leaning welfarist government and as such are teetering on the brink of insolvency.1 Despite a slew of highly restrictive capital controls and out-of-the-blue "bank holidays" designed to maintain some modest levels of liquidity in the face of branch and ATM queues across the country, the condition of Greece's banks is less than ideal and quite possibly insufficient for long-term survival. Continue reading


  1. The prospect of Greek debt default isn't just weighing down the local economy either. Inextricably intertwined as the global fiat economy is, the Euro has taken some damage, as have a number of stock markets around the world, as many are wondering aloud whether Greece is the canary in the coalmine of paper promises. 

Basketball Team Relegated to Lower Division by MS Windows Misbehavior

The Paderhorn Baskets of the German Basketball Budesliga face potential relegation to the lower ProB division after Windows Update forced a delay of game so severe the league had to penalize Paderhorn by reducing their points in the league's standings. While the disastrous security consequences of Microsoft Windows are often the focus of criticism, in this case the disaster was triggered by Window's automatic update functionality which is generally regarded as annoying though somewhat beneficial. In this case however, the rogue behavior of the Windows Updater went from merely annoying to economically and professionally damaging.

Germany & Austria's Project BITCRIME

A joint study between Austria and the German Federal Ministry of Education and Research will look at the use of virtual currencies and how supposed illicit transactions and alleged criminals can be prevented, detected, tracked and prosecuted. The program, which has funding totalling €1.5m and will run through to the end of 2016, will also look at the need for supervision and regulation in the cryptocurrency space. Continue reading