Armed Guard At German Grocer Kills Man In Saint Louis

Over the weekend an armed guard at a colonial location of the German Grocery giant Aldi killed a customer suspected of shoplifting at an Aldi outpost in North Saint Louis City. The suspect, killed over store branded groceries was pronounced dead at the scene. This shooting follows a Friday meeting between German chancellor Angela Merkel and US President Donald Trump where the two differed on issues of globalization and the meaning of the word bilateral. It is unknown how many US locations of the German Globalization Grocer Aldi employ armed agents to protect their bounty of off brand products.

The Fourth Reich Grips Berlin

The definition of that kind of large scale theft called extraction goes something like,

A bunch of foreigners land on your shores, buy up some local chiefs, chop down your forests, rip the minerals out of your soil, enslave a few generations, and eventually go home, leaving their bastards in charge.

Such has been the sad fate of Germany for the past seventy years. The bastards are fully in charge, and the dormitory states occupying the historical territory of the Eastern Franks have been relentlessly producing — at the behest of their foreign masters and to benefit their foreign master's experimental curiosities — generation after generation of confused young men and women. Sad, shambling abominations bereft of anything substantial, their identity — cultural, political or personal — entirely not their own nor of their own making but instead the product of research in the exact sense of the term contemplated by Mengele.

With the withdrawal of US socialism from most of the world forced on by their self-inflicted economic collapse comes a very acute dilemma for most of the old colonies. Clearly, the socio-economic model predicated on extraction for the benefit of Washington and Washington alone can not continue in Germany. What, then is to be done ?

Will the great-grandchildren of the erstwhile bastards withdraw with the tide ? Will they go back home ? Oh, but they can't do that, there isn't enough food at home to satisfy the local important nobodies, precious snowflakes native to the capitol. Any scraps for the trough of distant cadet branches from the provinces are entirely out of the question.

Or have the great-grandchildren of the erstwhile bastards meanwhile sucked enough blood and sap so as to have turned into men and women, ready to stand on their own two feet and face what may come, whatever it may be ? Such wonder lays far past extreme absurdity — a human embryo, fed properly will over time result in a man or a woman, it is true, but no amount of blood allowed ticks, leeches or mosquitoes will produce as much as a goat, let alone a human being. The bastards don't have humanity in their genes, and so no, they haven't turned into anything. They'll be forever what they always were — if you're willing to believe it's good and right and proper all the better, and if not they'll call you names, but that's as far as it goes. No frog ever became a prince, whoever may have kissed it for as long as they cared to.

Once we've eliminated the impossible, whatever left, however improbable, must be the truth. So it is here : the bastards in control of Germany, taking as truth a ridiculous decoction of nonsense simply because they read it in Maryland's Volkischer Beobachter — which, to them, is what truth is and how truth comes — gathered together, casting aside any pretense of "parties" or "competition" and in one voice declared : should anyone make inconvenient truth known, they all to the last one agree to never mention this! Because yes, their duty, not to a history that isn't theirs, not to an identity they do not partake in, not to a German people they are imposed upon instead of coming from, their duty is to themselves and themselves alone : to make any flight of fancy anyone may print in Maryland a fact in Germany, a fact for Germany.

The cat is out of the bag : not German, not in any sense nor to any degree ; not even interested in fact and truth but fully dedicated to shared hallucination and collective flight of fancy. Should "Putin" and "hacks" expose inconvenient facts about any of the "competitors" in Germany's "electoral" contest, all the others fully agree and solemnly promise not to use it! Because yes, denying truth a platform is a working strategy and a workable approach to survival — they've read it, after all, in the same Beobachter they read everything else they believe and hold dear.

Will the German public stand for it ?

Praxair Buying Linde, Renaming Self Linde In Industrial Gas Consolidation

US based Praxair1 is buying German firm Linde in a move that stands to substantially consolidate ownership of world industrial gases production. In a most unfair merger Praxair will be ceding to Linde half of the seats on the merged board, nearly half of the conjoined equity, and taking Linde's name after consummating this marriage. As is traditional in rushed elopements the combined headquarters will be in neither the US nor Germany, but in a third "neutral" Eurozone country.2 The cherry top is an anticipated 25 euros of value created for current Linde shareholders through synergies and a mere 17 United States dollar of synergies for Praxair holders. Praxair CEO Steve Angel however will remain CEO of the new Praxair which calls itself Linde. It's almost as if Monsanto had bought Bayer this time!

Sorry for your loss.


  1. Of who could have predicted pressurized cylinders would heat to failure on hot asphalt fame. (archived)  

  2. Provided there is still a Eurozone by the time regulators get a say. This is a fiat marriage after all.  

"Liberal" West Today: Merkel Announces Burqa Ban

Angela Merkel, who recently announced zer intent to run for reelection as an explicitly establishment candidate, has embraced a populist political position in order to curry favor with voters. Merkel announced plans to ban the burqa in any place zhe may "legally" do so. Germans have been taking a beating lately at home, in their European Union, and technologically.

DT Customers Lose Service Due To "Cyber Attack"

Deutsche Telekom has reportedly been hit with a cyberattack that has caused hundreds of thousand of its customers to be without service since Sunday afternoon. German government and company officials say that approximately 900,000 customers, around 4.5% of it's fixed-line customer base, have been affected by the attack. The company was giving few details as to the nature of the attack, but stated on their website:

"Based on the pattern of errors, it can not be ruled out that the router has been targeted externally, with the result that it can no longer log on to the network"

Some customers believe that the tight-lipped response is due to Deutsche Telekom not knowing the full extent of the issues at hand, and many took to social media to vent as the company's hotline and online customer center were rendered unreachable due to the outages. The only fix suggested by the company on their website at this time was to "try turning the router off, wait 30 seconds, then turn it back on again".

And In Other Unhappenings Today

You may recall the recent instance where Phuctor schweizered SecLab@TUBerlin1, an event that was then discreetely unhappened under the pretense that supposedly something marked as "Signing key" was merely an (unmarked) exercise, intended as a target for kids to practice their factoring skills. Anyone except Putin2 finds this explanation supremely convincing, especially because it is very common for training exercises to spuriously come in the exact form and markings of live munitions, but with convenient indication of which items to pick as part of the exercise (the factorable ones being conveniently placed last in an enumeration labelled "2006", "2007", "2008", "2009", "2010", "2011", "2012", "2013", "2014", "2015" and "2016"). Only terrorists would use the opposite approach, where effort is directed instead towards marking training exercises for distinction from the real McCoy and towards not telegraphing the correct choice.

Less than two weeks later which is to say about an hour ago, lost among a continuing shower of cheap VPS hosters, home routers etcetera…

deedbot phuctor.nosuchlabs.com/gpgkey/A2BC32C93E2CCD68BD6B50936177E24EFB482DB894713D1D9193F41CEA2AB7B1 << Recent Phuctorings – Phuctored: 1307…6977 divides RSA Moduli belonging to '93.174.104.41 (ssh-rsa key from 93.174.104.41 (services.euclides.nl. NL)).

You may perhaps be excused if you don't know who Euclides Automatisering B.V. of 16 Bredestraat 3632 AZ Loenen aan de Vecht is. They do.

Phuctor schweizered SecLab@TUBerlin


  1. BND's amateur drafting club. 

  2. Who a) doesn't understand how the world works and b) may have manipulated the US elections. These claims are neither contradictory nor do they disqualify the emitter from a Nobel prize. On the contrary. 

Today In Accidental Insecurity

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Phuctor reported popping keys 6EF3D2C0BA64734A3C0425B21EB0CAA26FE81A7C and EFD9448A5FE501B107C32AD15AB4C1237924BE94 at 20:32:51 GMT yesterday. 

The shared factor is

3100568694595076734686979820330253089614865506425934747234722044220976925441335217738426027833105034245
6445126481343091027696015873408329180286505324090208791356401685488632594573639626011967028852284987701
0967115630719364594515514565864083475198410533100792088012571668579091700397319607658923685438658044430
5286529066624341477320563024789004984638956787358622173523575700630550890562046936247939825607494279930
3909984882283079716566423141876709031507883553455452314931202170711277559709938918157034624428381091843
733176552634481080290679291021661954570523305447050841482495845936945694373844932850748050349261100319

which appears to be a prime number.

The exponent and other metadata associated with the keys seem intact. Apparently the modules in question belong to the 2016 and 2015 signing keys of an entity identifying itself as "seclab@airgapped.sec.t-labs.tu-berlin.de", which in the biosphere maps to TU Berlin (Technische Universitat Berlin)'s "Institut Fur Softwaretechnick und Theoretische Informatik"'s IT Security Lab, an entity with long running connections to the BND (Germany's version of the NSA) as well as a substantial trail of published CompSec papers. 

The keys had been submitted that same day at 13:50:45.642313 via the self-serve web interface, and were factored immediately thereafter because of the shared factor.

Peace in our time.
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: GnuPG v1.4.10 (GNU/Linux)

iQIcBAEBAgAGBQJYKhfbAAoJEFq0wSN5JL6UDfkQAJ7gcI1tNyYZimZ1N9BxRXu3
tftSv1aPGe8zEUYzZVSrk6dIp9sm0AjqxtDG56179Gz+RkQ8ydHgKd6qOwHOPz+I
gsjqB9uU8XqxH83mN33JjW70I7/ZGH/S+H1e+zxeBzORwaXdA2KEXw4xaypU4mzV
IcOP/xIfrN7+aoe0DeEgRsvDEBsJA3GnN90P3T5VbHNrOQZuy6kbYi63FRDWXT5j
h3FZ25TL5WajBorz0Klzf3UN5kV59TpQsXmQj3jtgeG0Mxaq328qnHGDxIIGIvXJ
wFojfkdJUfXg6AMW30txdCEfGb90SOiDxLtVCyXBiONhZ0b6Y/EAqU33bPVIoN3S
hksBKH4OA4IFPTnh1rJhiC9jAehQFiBj/NzXAsAZsDsYHK0XirQ4jxsmPmywMIRR
SAy1j+RgXla9XPUyj7Ha8Zgmd+BDpKUqj8CRVdQe+PDNYTk/J7TYFRLCEw9rZ6Tp
671/xDb7CDpnXJperJCts5L9k71ELmvg2FyPoQMitmhKFV73VXup4kfcylYOhJIP
qRRtS+2VyRKetfaNZ4pACqy1BGivkAtLMZrojQppAAD/K0axLBGFhkxlmsWJdrI0
q5piCtxQeCb+VtwFqN9ei/eu9YMKkn9RIxZdwhCNmVkBWcOZGYlYa80pzKRuJzFL
FYxTT+UTb7lJr9tuabVp
=aVsu
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

PS the pubkey is here for your amusement : 

-----BEGIN PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----
Version: GnuPG v1.4.10 (GNU/Linux)

mQINBFaFwYABEADtmRfrcv5LKDukO9mPFj3FMx1H3e73MZ0eM5qyzL+pEuekHA8C
YoyFilEVeNFzoKtCXfv+PVDSeWSaBIfKHv807iILwTsgfyOC121BTshJeE39Tchs
W08brGCXbXN9sBiruU4U9Mkc7422tqSe1+zjHQVCgakiJOutmcm6/ZtJMbMTXg4D
rlVVlRK6Q3JQcP/5kSgx1Jp3wu7v3htVfGhFFm1AGu2vc9167+KmwfWpC3piIHa5
fx+uhZdSXc2miG9za3OZDjcaXEJOgC5um4RpmKbc4Kj04hl2GTc/ll3aRu6O5HqE
yyBxMhwOxBhlAvoD7fSmNDcGlEDRt4iJ9o7e35NWuLVd9ltduzWP8GBu610VtKQz
0IKjX7zflal1Yd4MmbTyB/MmxUzRQJP3fiBjx4KhSm38fkWADNh+gA0th1mV/wHT
VAKSclKD7farx4xPWrp0IrVjBx4s+yLgmSzL3fjPlmz27uqOoVYXdcwX2IynOizK
S8QVHTgJh7rFJuOVtdAfmExJtbkc0HzkN++btdejX7CZAy+Lwq/LyL7wBnKIM3gp
8eVocX+Z0sDxOiNzL3EeIN79b4VTPGrCk0uUaiVuhHKzpLJMsw/y0sWVmEZCXO6B
72OLTwVIUAV0N78ut7yjTpZxJTeJya0k+uk35lp8SFDOwrwxFMt6aKeGAQARAQAB
tEJTZWNsYWIgU2lnbmluZyBLZXkgMjAxNiA8c2VjbGFiQGFpcmdhcHBlZC5zZWMu
dC1sYWJzLnR1LWJlcmxpbi5kZT6JAj4EEwECACgFAlaFwYACGwMFCQH0+gAGCwkI
BwMCBhUIAgkKCwQWAgMBAh4BAheAAAoJEFq0wSN5JL6UYRAQAIpbEAL2rOsn5tQY
bo3KvR/eC8FFPZ8B3KyP+RMbhA0hV+H68sonkXQdx2xLsr9+umZ1QscXLSv5bDTp
gTCsSJ4q2/PMzKtXSPtp8bki6BAIrNfVnEncJ9IE/YzhOhDZmGEgMoEenxR4/Pwx
Po/xd/Vva4mIwI3U41js1MyzVQNHJQkO0KVsRxpTLcaJCGwgrPpn3vEmFXp1diEZ
AcBZvNAlQFPNn7Lurk5Rh8zUsIVAbuIDNTFLfb03GPK+oq/aTfjG4cAaldyWb9T9
E4me9wCjmgfrKjem0pqVNKBPL6sv0xH6BakPkj7FxFMDanaXStcH/3Po5DL0JvtT
xc8SS+elFresfaoymq3wL98ES4aTlEXsxjw0StYZmaneeUHUW6iAnkvp3kxrwKbg
xYczM/zSi86Mrw/rihW77VuyrKMJvbD+XNhjBAjnemPkvBg4REk53Y432q7YoKIs
o3591XH8E3TzbvXJ5tlkiD/NLQX7KxkUBlSUsPIVOhCPoyqAD/28X345gf4Ciazo
jZ4XfY/0gZA8aPIJpSKigDR7cbQp23jtk1SLnQhMqrv5k4l+5Jd/W9yy5/RAmEtz
CmFPdtAHK4+wKK7LZdYKbeKQuB77w8yEQqo3Cd+UzoINUXbXvm8HlXJPXOE/wd54
u4nn1epDxJbiu+tyfJgebGaP8y4Q
=I1WF
-----END PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----

Merkel Regime To Broaden Issuance Of Driving Bans In Germany

Reports are emerging that the Angela Merkel regime in Germany is prepared to push through new legislation that would make drivers license revocation a common sanction for non-driving related "crimes" against the Zher majesty the EuroF├╝hrer Angela Merkel. While much of the public justification for the new measures involve detering youth crime (archived), suggested offenses include failing to pay child support as an absentee parent. Naturally the measure would be used to punish dissidents as "hate speech" would be similarly subject to driving license revocation. The new motoring sanctions would be levelled in combination with the EuroF├╝hrer's most popular sanction, the suspended prison sentence. This adds to the threat of arbitrary imprisonment for violating the sentence's suspension1 further punishment in the form of travel restrictions. Sorry for your laws, but papers please.


  1. Because why judicially imprison someone after trial when you can administratively imprison them later.