BTC-E Down Owner Appears Headed For USG "Coke Machine" Treatment As Fiatist Thefts Continue

Long time semi-independent fiat/Bitcoin interface BTC-E has gone down with its apparent operator captured by USG and Greek pederast forces. The Stasi's press representatives are alleging that BTC-E laundered 4 billion United States dollars since 2011, this is in spite of BTC-E trading multiple tokens in addition to Bitcoin with one of the most volatile being the United States dollar. This suggests the Stasi pulled the 4 Billion dollar figure out of someone's ass to defend their favored scamcoin's honor.

This move follows the death earlier this month of Alexandre Cazes, the alleged proprietor of AlphaBay, who appears to have been killed by one of the Stasi's attempts to capture Bitcoin value via the "coke machine" method. Perhaps the Stasi feels that partnering with the Greek pederasts, with their legendary Hellenic loving touch, might give this latest captive enough life to spit out the private keys.

The fiatists continue thrashing.

A Quick FAQ About The Not Bitcoin fork "Bitcoin Cash"

Q: Is "Bitcoin Cash" Bitcoin?

A: No

Q: What does Roger Ver presents "Bitcoin.com"'s backing mean?

A: It's even more likely to fail in the vein of XTCoin, ClassicCoin, and Unlimited Spam Coin which were all Roger Ver-ified scams. The "Roger Ver-ified" endorsement is a leper's mark.

Q: But "Bitcoin Cash" futures appear to be trading very high? How could this be?

A: Wash trading. No one with any money that counts is sending it to the only malarial (falciparum) "exchange" trading such an instrument.

Q: Why did they use Wix.com to build a website?

A: Probably because their television viewing overlaps with the middle aged woman "small businessing" demographic that Wix.com advertises to. Also they pre-emptively hate their users.

Q: Are you sorry?

A: Only for your loss.

Miners Signal Segwit Via BIP 91 "Lock In" Avoiding "User Activated" Fork

Miners on the Bitcoin network signaled that they would begin enforcing a new set of block acceptance rules concerning the handling of "anyone can spend" transactions, commonly referred to as "Segregated Witness". For users of the actual Bitcoin system and actual Bitcoin software, this news comes with the usual "soft fork" related increase in the risk of chainsplits and orphaned blocks. For users engaging in fringe behavior on the Bitcoin network and seeking to abuse the new "rules" surrounding the "anyone can spend" edge case, there exists incredible potential1 for "your loss".

This move by Bitcoin miners circumvents an effort advanced by assorted social engineers to attempt enforcing this new "anyone can spend" ruleset through a loud tantrum. It remains to be seen how large a pile of coins the brave and the duped are willing to amass under "anyone can spend" conditions in order to tempt miners to abandon this new "soft forked" ruleset.


  1. From Qntra, December 28th, 2015

    The chief idiocy in the Blockstream camp is that if miners decide to stop enforcing the "soft" forks that Blockstream needs, the miners are somehow on "invalid" chains. Soft fork enforcement is nothing more than a courtesy extended by miners. Should miners trigger activation of segregated witness, and a super majority of miners later decide to stop enforcing its rule set, Blockstream is out of luck. Luke-Jr's protests about the "valid" blockchain would be as impotent as his protests about the valid Pope. So long as the longest chain that wins verifies on the actual reference Bitcoin client, life goes on.

    There are hazards to artificially trying to introduce new levels of trust to a system that doesn't require it. Softforks that explicitly create an incentive for their own revocation create an extraordinary moral hazard

     

Coinbase To Go On Trading Vacation With "Your" Coins Over Altcoin Fork Hysteria

Earlier today fiat/Bitcoin interface Coinbase emailed their users warning them that their accounts will be suspended for an indefinite period of time beginning four hours prior to reddit's scheduled temper tantrum.

To ensure the safety of customers’ funds, we will temporarily suspend bitcoin [sic] deposits, withdrawals, and buy/sell starting approximately 4 hours before activation of either fork.

Back at power ranger hindquarters a graph theory revelation has occurred.

Darknet Market Alphabay Shut Down: Alleged Operator Dies In Jail Cell

The darknet market Alphabay has been shuttered. One alleged operator, Alexandre Cazes, died in a Thai jail cell following his arrest. His captors insist Cazes was found hung, implying his death was a suicide. Given the recently departed's alleged position in relation to a sum of value in Bitcoin, more sinister explanations for Cazes' demise are possible and likely.1

This is yet another episode highlighting the dangers of attempting to use USG honeypots like the Tor network as tools. The timing suggests increasing desperation by fiat aligned interests in concordance with other recent acts of desperation.


  1. The "coke machine" referenced in the comment refers to a kleptographic attack where a captive is systematically tortured to extract private key material.  

USG Domain Squatters Hype Soon To Fail Luke-jrXT Fork

The USG, fiat aligned, domain squatters at Bitcoin.org are hyping a supposed "network disruption" which they hope will follow their latest effort to fork away from actual Bitcoin. The effort fronted by known sleeze Luke-jr (WOT:luke-jr) has been dubbed by the social engineers  a "User Activated Soft Fork", and in this scheme the vermin attacking Bitcoin are attempting to dupe would be Bitcoin users into running their software instead of an actual Bitcoin node. The idea is that by creating the impression of easily faked support, the social engineers may bully miners into accepting a forking away from Bitcoin and into something lesser.

This effort, supported almost entirely by assorted USG stoolies and assorted single language anglophone social engineering victims, is the most transparently desperate effort so far to undermine Bitcoin by imposing governance outside of The Most Serene Republic. It remains to be seen how many persons supposing themselves involved in Bitcoin will be victimized by Luke-jr and his co-conspirators when this latest fork's "flag day"1 passes.


  1. Yes, a flag day. Because desperation has lowered these pests into "throw a coordinated tantrum" as a strategic maneuver. 

Drama Heats Up As fiat/Bitcoin Interfaces Prepare For Next Round Of Fork Failures

Reports are emerging that minor fiat/Bitcoin interfaces may suspend crediting deposits and allowing withdrawals in advance of the latest round of drama surrounding fake Bitcoin network forks. Readers are reminded that interacting with fiat tied institutions is a pursuit fraught with peril. All signs point to impending "your loss", we are very sorry.

Bitcoin Latecomers Try Pumping Blockchain.info Flush With Fiat Cash

Blockchain.info announced they have received another $40 million in filthy fiat venture capitalist funding from bandwagon Bitcoin latecomers like billionaire Richard Branson, Lakestar, and Google Ventures. Blockchain.info opened for business in 2011 and claims to be the world's largest "online Bitcoin wallet service". The last round of funding it received in 2014 amounted to 30.5 million USD and was used to make such earth-shattering improvements as numerous trivial UI changes, creation of weak pseudo-random number generating software, and an abundance of downtime gold that would make Coinbase green with envy. The latest round of funding is expected to swirl down the toilet just as quickly as the previous batch, leaving copious amounts of "Sorry For Your Loss" in its wake. (archived)

Coblee And Coinbase Quit Each Other

Chucky Lee (WOT:coblee)), best known as the chief forking officer of Litecoin, has quit his position at Coinbase to focus on altcorn development. During his tenure at Coinbase, customers complained of frequent outages and degraded performance, events which often conveniently coincided with swings in US dollar price against the Bitcoin standard. Coinbase is alleged to value itself at an incredible Billion fiat dollars, and claims to have coerced 7.7 million customers into using the platform. The news of Lee's resignation comes on the heels of Coinbase/GDAX seeking $100 million US dollars in venture capital funding for further development, which users ought to hope1 will be used to make the site run for more than a week without crashing.


  1. likely in vain