Tensions Heat Up In Europe After Ukranian Ships Seized While Aggressing On Kerch Strait Bridge

Two Ukrainian vessels were seized by the Russian Navy after the erractically maneuverng ships aggressively approached the Kerch Strait bridge without providing advanced notification required by a 2003 treaty between Russia and Ukraine (archived). Russian personnel treated Ukranians wounded in defense of the 18.1 kilometer long bridge. Ukranian President Poroshenko has responded by declaring martial law while Hawks in NATO governments has proposed opening hostilities outside of the Syrian proxy war sandbox. Russian influenced media outlets are supposing that if a new Crimean war breaks out, it will be the last (archived).

In Filing Begging For Sealed Charges Copy/Paste Mishap Confirms Assange As Target Of US Prosecutors

In a petition to the US District Court for Eastern Virginia, US Attorney G. Zachary Terwilliger and Assistant US Attorney Kellen S. Dwyer argue for issuing sealed charges in a case titled "United States of America v. SEITU SULAYMAN KOKAYI" with SEITU SULAYMAN KOKAYI presumably being a pseudonym for the defendant who may not be named. Except further down in the document a failure in redaction yields gold:

Another procedure short of sealing will not adequately protect the needs of law enforcement at this time because, due to the sophistication of the defendant and the publicity surrounding the case, no other procedure is likely to keep confidential the fact that Assange has been charged.

And a bit further down:

The complaint, supporting affidavit, and arrest warrant, as well as this motion and the proposed order, would need to remain sealed until Assange is arrested in connection with the charges in the criminal complaint and can therefore no longer evade or avoid arrest and extradition in this matter.

And so any order to seal the charges being leveled at Julian Assange is moot. If there are not already sealed charges against Assange in different pseudonymously obscured case, it can be assumed there will be in another regardless of the determination in this one. Full text below: Continue reading

Russian Lawmakers Consider Regularizing Civil Servant Duels

Legislators in Russia are drafting a law that would normalize a system of duelling for citizens and civil servants to avenge insults allowing for men to engage in dignified combat by small swords, sabers, and pistols (archived). The elderly, and the disabled would be allowed to select substitutes to defend their dignity in the combat arena while women are to be excluded from elegibility to seek recourse through dueling. As the proposal stands now at least one participant in a duel is required to be a civil servant for it to be recognized under the proposed system.

Fractured US Government Indicts 22 Russians In Absentia While Chief Executive Makes Progress In US-Russia Cooperation

In anticipation of today's summit between US President Donald Trump and Russia leader Vladimir Putin, "Special" Counsel Robert Mueller and the US Department of "Justice" handed down 22 in absentia indictments to Russian nationals. Despite Mueller's activist fanfiction writing, Trump and Putin did indeed meet in Helsinki and announced plans for greater cooperation in a joint press conference following their summit.

The full text of Robert Muller's court approved fanfiction is below: Continue reading

US Sorghum Boats Looking For New Markets After China Implements Anti-Dumping Measures

Twenty ships loaded with 1.2 million tons of Sorghum are changing course after China implemented anti-dumping measures targeting the grain (archived). Chinese imports of US sorghum began only five years ago and China swiftly began purchasing nearly all US exportable sorghum as livestock fodder. These boats are in the unfortunate position of requiring an entirely new market for their product while at the same time burning precious fuel in the Pacific.

Russian Air Defense Hardware Getting Pretty Good At Intercepting US Missiles

Overnight the US, Airstrip One, and France launched missile strikes against Syria which were condemned by both the Russians and Chinese. Out of 103 missiles launched, 71 were reportedly intercepted leaving 32 to strike targets. This move comes 373 days after Trump last directed US cruise missiles towards a Syrian airbase's pussy. Syria and Russia are reporting that this attack was "absorbed" with personel having been withdrawn from the target sites days in advance while the US insists no warning of the attack was offered.

Public Bailout Of Bezo Bungle Continues In Indiana

Regional accreditors have given approval to a plan which would allow Indiana's Purdue University, a public institution, to bail out Jeff Bezos' expensive education bungle "Kaplan University" in a deal which delivers the Bezos venture relief from the costs of operating the school. The Bezos venture will still be involved after selling the money sink to Purdue for a nominal sum. Kaplan is positioned to receive an unknown amount of ongoing income for delivering "marketing" and ancilliary "services" to Purdue.