Viktor Orbán Wins Supermajority In Hungarian Parliament: Pantsuit Whines

The people of Hungary voted for the candidate who promised to continue denying EU efforts to fill Hungary with economic migrants from diverse cultural backgrounds. As is becoming increasingly common with popular election results, Pantsuit is refusing to yield even though the leadership of most Hungarian opposition parties has resigned in acknowledgment of their failure.

British Government Lab Admits No Evidence For Scandal Used To Blow Up Diplomatic Relations And Court European Sympathy

Today Airstrip One's Porton Down defense laboratory admits it has no evidence to support loud Pantsuit allegations that the nerve agent used to poison a British double-agent came from Russia (archived). This news comes despite the government of the not so United Kingdom using the incident to blow up relations with Russia while fishing for solidarity with the continental Europeans whose Union the Brits will be leaving.

Despite the usual pantsuit media organs insisting Russia must have done it, the ready baked pantsuit public relations campaign accompanying the incident lacks an innocent look on its surface.

Ecuador Cuts Communications From Assange As Brits Go On Tilt

The Embassy of Ecuador in London has cut off communications between Julian Assange and the outside world following pressure from NATO member states. Recently the sublethal poisoning of a British Spy in London with a common nerve agent has been used as a pretext for the United Kingdom to pressure its allies into isolating Russia and other percieved enemies. The full text of Ecuador's announcement is below:

COMUNICADO OFICIAL

28 de marzo de 2018

EL GOBIERNO DE ECUADOR SUSPENDE LAS COMUNICACIONES DE JULIAN ASSANGE

El Gobierno de Ecuador suspendió de los sistemas que permiten a Julian Assange comunicarse con el exterior desde la embajada ecuatoriana en Londres, en donde el ciudadano permanece en situación de protección internacional desde hace seis años debido al riesgo que corre su vida e integridad.

La medida fue adoptada ante el incumplimiento por parte de Assange del compromiso escrito que asumió con el Gobierno a finales de 2017, por el que se obligaba a no emitir mensajes que supusieran una injerencia en relación a otros Estados.

El Gobierno de Ecuador advierte de que el comportamiento de Assange, con sus mensajes a través de las redes sociales, pone en riesgo las buenas relaciones que el país mantiene con Reino Unido, con el resto de los Estados de la Unión Europea y otras naciones. Por todo ello, para prevenir potenciales perjuicios, la embajada en Londres interrumpió este 27 de marzo las comunicaciones al exterior a las que tiene acceso Assange.

El Ejecutivo mantiene además abiena la vía a la adopción de nuevas medidas ante el incumplimiento del compromiso por parte de Assange.

Europol Arrests Unnamed Man For Politely Persuading Eurobanks To Part With Cash

On Monday, March 26, armed thugs representing themselves as "Spanish National Police, with the support of Europol, the US FBI, the Romanian, Belarussian and Taiwanese authorities and private cyber security companies" arrested a yet-unnamed "mastermind" — who stands accused of causing "cumulative losses of over EUR 1 billion for the financial industry". And apparently this is not difficult:

"In all these attacks, a similar modus operandi was used. The criminals would send out to bank employees spear phishing emails with a malicious attachment impersonating legitimate companies. Once downloaded, the malicious software allowed the criminals to remotely control the victims’ infected machines, giving them access to the internal banking network and infecting the servers controlling the ATMs. This provided them with the knowledge they needed to cash out the money."

I.e. chair warmers were asked politely to install "Back Orifice" — and they (whether out of stupidity, or in exchange for a cut of the take — we are not told) obliged. As for MS-Windows, installed on bank infrastructure and in ATM boxes all over Europe: it, in turn, worked precisely as it was designed to work.

As of the time of this writing, the number of "bank employees" arrested in connection with their indispensable work in making this heist possible — stands at: zero. Likewise, the number of Microsoft executives held to answer for the very existence of "infectious attachments" as a concept — stands also at zero.1

The "mastermind" and his merry men also stand accused of Bernankeization without a license:

"Databases with account information were modified so bank accounts balance would be inflated, with money mules then being used to collect the money."

Magicking money into existence from thin air is, we learn, A-OK when carried out from a well-pedigreed bag of lard parked in an Aeron in New York — but not so much when it is done by non-bluebloods and on the wrong side of the Atlantic.

The accused, presently nameless — and held incommunicado — also stand to be punished for the unforgivable USG.crime of having "laundered via cryptocurrencies".


  1. On the other hand, the EU bureaucracy informs us that the "perpetrator" of this "crime" supposedly was "vacationing in Spain" — rather suspiciously similar to the previous three major USG.kidnapping-under-the-colour-of-law victims; evidently crafting a replacement cover story for USG thugs' free hand in lifting people straight from the streets of Bucharest & elsewhere, would overrun the budget?  

Pantsuit Disarmament March Eclipsed In Popular Headlines By Opposition From Musicians: Killa Mike And Bataclan Survivor Jesse Hughes Call For Sanity

A disarmament march carried out by young pantsuits supporting citizen disarmament in the United States was overshadowed in the Pantsuit media this weekend by celebrity opposition. The trend was started by a National Rifle Association interview with beloved gangsta rapper Killer Mike who attacked young gun grabbers as 'progressive lackeys' and 'not woke' working to 'progress us into slavery' (archived).

This was followed today by pantsuit pearl clutching in outrage against Bataclan terror attack survivor Jesse Helms who compared people opposing their own gun ownership because of violence to men chopping off their own dicks to stop rape. Helms further accused the student activists the pantsuit march was centered around of exploiting their classmates' deaths for Facebook likes (archived).

"Developed" Norway Lacks Means To Receive Imports

News has emerged this weekend that Norway, a country that consistently tops development indices as compiled by pantsuits, lacks the infrastructure to recieve imported cars. Elon Musk's Tesla Motors has been frustrated by the lack of transporters sufficiently competent to move their product from ports of entry to customers (archived). Incidents include cars being crushed during transport due to collapse of the trailer carrying them and numerous interdictions of shipments by police leading to substantial delays following failed safety inspections.

113 GigaWatt Hours Go Missing In Europe

The possibility of converting electrical current, wherever found, directly into coin appears to have added yet another fungible item to the list of socialist "people's properties" liable to get spontaneously "redistributed" by their "servant leader" caretakers — via the quite familiar, to inhabitants of the ex-soviet world, "complicated dance through which to steal the shebang while leaving behind the appearance, in the manner of termites".

Concretely: the European Union's "Continental European Power System", "a large synchronized area stretching from Spain to Turkey and from Poland to Netherlands; encompassing 25 countries", reported (archived) on March 6, 2018, a sudden energy deficit summing to 113 GWh (i.e. 3.6 terajoules):

The power deviations are originating from the control area called Serbia, Macedonia, Montenegro (SMM block) and specifically Kosovo and Serbia. The power deviations have led to a slight decrease in the electric frequency average. This average frequency deviation, that has never happened in any similar way in the CE Power system, must cease. The missing energy amounts currently to 113 GWh. The question of who will compensate for this loss has to be answered.