Pulpit Lobby Hounds Circle K Into Retracting Romantic Deal Offered For 'Secretary Day'

Following aggressive hounding effort by the old women's pulpit lobby, retailer Circle K retracted a romantic promotion they had advertised to honor the Hallmark holiday 'Secretary Day' (archived). The promotion offered an "executive combo" including a bottle of wine, chocolate, and packet of condoms for 199 pesos Mexicanos to celebrate secretaries "the proper way."

Empire Today: S-400 Deliveries, Bitcoin, And More Pantuit Darkmoney Sex – A Week In Review

As the Empire's relevance in the world continued to slide, the very inconvenient happenings are piling up:


  1. The individual Western European members are distantly behind.  

Germany Defies US Order To Send Wehrmacht To Syria

As the slow US withdrawal of troops from Syria continues to take shape, Germany has defied US orders to deploy the Wehrmacht to Syria and continue the ambiguous mission undertaken by US meddlers (archived). In the early years of the Hussein Bahamas administration insisted there would be no US ground troops in Syria, but after his re-election the ongoing accumulation of US materiel and personnel changed the dialogue to "Of course there are US troops in Syria" without any dialogue on whether there should be. Democratically elected US president Donald Trump has tried several times to withdraw the US from Syria, but folded against pressure from his subordinates and European allies including the French Despot Macron. They all insist "regime change" in Syria is still a viable and worthy purpose to pursue despite democratically elected Syrian President Assad's hold on power appearing firmer than ever.

Pantsuit Sex: Epstein Arrested For Child Trafficking, Norwegian Fish Minister Arrested For Buggering Trafficked Migrants In Asylum Quid Pro Quo

Clinton family friend and New York Pantsuit networker Jeffery Epstein was arrested overnight for allegedly trafficking several dozen pre-teen and early teen girls through his residences in New York and Palm Beach, Florida between the years 2002 and 2005 (archived). The indictments will supposedly be unsealed tomorrow. In the interim, rumours and inuendo carry word Epstein will face a single count each of "sex trafficking of minors" and "conspiracy to engage in sex trafficking of minors" with the case being prosecuted by Southern District of New York's pompously titled "Public Corruption Unit" providing ample fuel for conspiracies on how far this investigation will either go or not go.

In a related case out of Norway, a former Minister of Fisheries was sentenced to 5 years imprisonment late last week for offering three young trafficked men the chance to receive favorable asylumn rulings in exchange for letting him have his way with them while he was a sitting county governor. The 25 to 34 year old men in question appear to have retained their physical presence in Norway as promised.

British Navy Returns To Piracy With Seizure Of Iranian Oil Tanker, Iran Points Out Their Obligation To Retaliate In Kind

British Marines near Gibraltar seized a ship allegedly carrying Iranian oil to Syrian (archived). The Brits are defending their theft as an act of "EU sanctions enforcement" despite Marines capturing a foreign vessel in transit from a nation outside the EU to another nation outside the EU, while the thieves themselves are Brexiting anyways.

Iran responded by summoning their British ambassador to explain that in the international law texts Iran has read, the EU sanctions against Syria are not only illegal and further Iran wouldn't have to recognize the sanctions even if they were "legal" through some twisted confusion of terms.

Thusly Major General Mohsen Rezaee of Iran's Revolutionary guard announced to the world that Iran has a duty to capture a British tanker ship.1


  1. Should Britain actually have any oil tankers.  

British Home Secretary Sajid Javid Signs Order To Extradite Julian Assange To United States

British Home Secretary Sajid Javid has signed an order requesting Julian Assange's extradition to the United States for Julian's attempts to do journalism in violation of the US Espionage Act (archived). The extradition order will be weighed in the UK's courts Friday. Sweden withdrew their competing extradition claim earlier this month.

Conde Nast Pantsuitist And Microsoft And MPEx Beat Blogger Peter "DrPizza" Bright Arrested In US For Enticing Minors To Sex

Peter Bright, a Conde Nast blogger who covers the Microsoft and MPEx beats for Ars Technica has been arrested for responding to an advertisement posted by a female FBI agent seeking men to sexually entice her 7 year old daughter and 9 year old son (archived). Bright attempted to establish his credentials with the FBI agent by stating he has an ongoing relationship with an 11 year old Manhattan girl.

While neglecting the MPEx beat, Bright was a critic of investigations into organized Pantsuitist child sex trafficking rings. The USG complaint filed before Magistrate Debra Freeman of the Southern District of New York does not clarify whether the account used by the FBI agent to entrap Bright was a dedicated honeypot or a personal account the agent normally uses to pimp out her children to other "law enforcement" members and their Pantsuitist allies.

The full text of the complaint is presented below: Continue reading

ProtonMail Caught Cooperating With "Law Enforcement"

Protonmail, notable for featuring "privacy" in its marketing and being a being a "private" email service commonly recommended outside the republic, is facing serious allegations of cooperating with criminal organizations styling themselves as "law enforcement" in various fiat jurisdictions (archived). A spokesperson has tried to mitigate the criticism by suggesting the don't "voluntarily" cooperate and are "obliged" to cooperate with criminal demands.

Such derpy weaseling ignores the example of Ladar Levison, who when faced with criminal FBI demands supported by the local courts circus against his Lavabit email service did the right thing. Rather than break the contract he was marketing to customers, Levison shuttered Lavabit when the forces of evil made continuing under the conditions he marketed to customers impossible.

USG Dumps More Charges On Assange Amid Dueling Extradition Claims

The USG has unleashed a new round of charges against Julian Assage for violations of the US espionage act while Sweden has formally submitted their own extradition request. Ever since the US case against Assange started moving forward, Obama pardonee Chelsea/Bradley Manning has been in and out of jail for contempt of court for refusing to snitch to grand juries and aid the production of new charges against Assange.

The new charges and the continued issuing of charges should injure the USG's chances of winning the extradition game against Sweden ,as the possibility of an espionage act charges carrying a potential death penalty such as "intefering in a military operation" are arguably in play, should Assange have competent counsel and not a Joshua Dratel. Of course since the UK uses a common law system where precendent can be cherry picked and rewritten, the US may still manage to land Assange in spite of the UK's Extradition Act prohibitions.

The full text of the USG's latest dump is below: Continue reading

USG Anti-Massage Parlor Case Crumbling Over Orgasm Free Massage Footage

The USG case against Jupiter, Florida's Orchids of Asia spa and their customers appears to have completely imploded after colliding with defense attorneys (archived). It turns out numerous hours of collected footage featured mundane orgasm free massage, and the Jupiter Police Department spent substantial time viewing footage of naked women receiving non-orgasmic massages. With this the defense team of New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft had the Prosecution's video stricken. Other customers are following on with suits against the agencies involved for illegal surveillance, which has now been established in the case.

Further indicting the USG in the case is their principle allegation, that the women working the spa were trafficked and held in captivity, an allegation which if true raises the question of why the USG had to film porn instead of simply raiding the spa and liberating the women. That the USG would delay action to stop grave human trafficking to collect some mundane additional soliciting prostitution charges weighs nothing in the USG system. It however matters immensly when a defendant outweighs the prosecution and can move fight to optics and politics outside the courtroom.