Darknet Market Alphabay Shut Down: Alleged Operator Dies In Jail Cell

The darknet market Alphabay has been shuttered. One alleged operator, Alexandre Cazes, died in a Thai jail cell following his arrest. His captors insist Cazes was found hung, implying his death was a suicide. Given the recently departed's alleged position in relation to a sum of value in Bitcoin, more sinister explanations for Cazes' demise are possible and likely.1

This is yet another episode highlighting the dangers of attempting to use USG honeypots like the Tor network as tools. The timing suggests increasing desperation by fiat aligned interests in concordance with other recent acts of desperation.

  1. The "coke machine" referenced in the comment refers to a kleptographic attack where a captive is systematically tortured to extract private key material.  

Buttfunex's Fiat Banking Partners Move Towards Becoming Ex's

Bitfinex self reported that their fiat-side banking partners in the Republic of China1 are going to soon stop doing banking work for them on the bank's initiative. This is in line with the other China's attitude towards their fiat emphasized fiat/Bitcoin interfaces. Sorry for your loss, butt fun while it lasted.

  1. also known as Taiwan, Island China, or Little China  

Russian Ambassador To Turkey Assasinated

Today Russian Ambassador to Turkey Andrei Karlov was shot dead by an assassin at an art gallery in Ankara. The assassin is alleged to be a local police officer who during the killing praised the name of his higher power, one he chooses to call Allah.

Due to the nature of the event a number of high quality photographs and videos of the attacker and the attack itself are circulating. There is no credible news on the identity Mevlüt Mert Altıntaş has been identified as the shooter and his fate is still unknown at this time suggesting he is still at large and possibly being supported in his evasion of justice is in custody.

Two and a half miles away the United States embassy complex was shut down due to a "security incident". United States Lame Duck President Hussein Bahamas still enjoys a bit more than a month in office with which he can start a hot war with Russia.

Lower Korea Makes "Our Democracy" Weird Again

Lower Korean1 President Park Geun-hye was impeached following a scandal involving confidential information granted to the president's "Spiritual Advisor" by the chief executive of our democracy. On top of the simple charge the President was impeached for there was substantial media campaign involving the occult and tawdry sex allegations which eroded popular support for the President as is traditional in our democracy. Park Geun-hye remains the President of lower Korea including residence at the Blue House though Presidential powers of our democracy have been transferred to the Prime Minister until the Supreme Court rules on the impeachment.

If the Supreme Court rules to eject Park Geun-hye from office, the United Nation's Ban Ki Moon is the leading candidate to win the office. Conveniently Moon's term as UN Secretary General expires at the end of this year. Make Our Democracy Weird Again!

  1. Also known as Republic of Korea, not to be confused with The Democratic People's Republic of Best Korea  

US Tax Department Busted By Indian Police

Police in rural Thane, India have arrested over 500 people working in a call center, accusing them of scamming U.S. citizens in a fraud scheme. The callers allegedly would tell the victims they were with the "US Tax Department" and demanded financial and bank details, and threatened them with legal action if they refused to provide the details. The employees would then use the information to withdraw funds from the accounts, with officials estimating the scheme could make upwards of $160,000 USD a day. Police said the investigation was ongoing and further information was to be released soon, although no word was available as to whether any iTunes gift cards were recovered in the haul

Duterte Assigns Phillipine Police To Investigate US Police

Phillipine President Rodrigo Duterte (WOT:unknown/undisclosed) has charged Phillipine National Police Chief Ronald dela Rosa with sending a task force to the United States to investigate violence committed by police in the United States (archived). While lesser world leaders limit their criticism of the criminal gang in Washington, DC's actions to those on the international stage, the ever consummate humanitarian Duterte takes America to task at home. Peace in our time.

Japanese Virginity Reaches Crisis Levels

The Japan Times reports that nearly half of unmarried adult Japanese men and women are virgins. Decades of social "reforms" have left the Japanese population docile to the point sex outside a marital contract rarely happens, and Japan's low birthrate suggests that even marital contracts to little to promote sex among those residents of Japan who managed to lose their virginity.

A similar though less developed trend of sexlessness is beginning to emerge in the young adult population in the United States, though rampant transmayogenderism complicates comparisons by as many young Americans can be visually identified as sexually defective from a distance. Japan's increase in obesity lags their growing sexlessness while American sexlessness lags their increasing obesity. The failure of the fundamental biological drive to "make baby" suggest deep defects at the societal and personal level in both cases.

Peace (by attrition) in our time.