Actual Headlines Found On Mainstream "Fake News" Publications

The following headlines were found on mainstream 'Fake News' outlets:

  • "Woman complains Hobby Lobby’s raw cotton decor is racially insensitive "
  • "Toys R Us might file for bankruptcy right before everyone starts holiday shopping"
  • "St. Louis police investigate claim that officer called Black Lives Matter ‘domestic terrorists’"
  • "St. Louis seeks a new police chief; some chanting required"
  • "Armed LGBT student shot dead by Georgia police"
  • "Family Wants Answers After Georgia Tech Police Kill LGBTQ Campus Leader"
  • "Hundreds of Rohingya Villages in Flames"

Casino Robbed Amid Civil Disorder In St Louis

Three men armed with rifles robbed the cashier's cage at the Casino Queen in East Saint Louis, Illinois early Sunday morning1 while civil disorder continues on the other side of the river in Saint Louis, Missouri. One unarmed casino guard was shot, no patrons were injured, and no suspects have been arrested.

The casino is set to re-open at 8 am local time Monday.


  1. The Illinois State Police report ~2:50 am local time  

Media And Clergy Orchestrated Civil Disorder Erupts In Downtown St Louis After Acquittal

Escalating civil disorder has gripped downtown Saint Louis after a former police officer was acquitted of murder in the December 2011 shooting death of Anthony Lamar Smith which followed a high speed chase. Interest the case was drummed up by the local Fake News media and activist clergy members aligned with Black Lives Matter following the outrage they were able to bake in Ferguson, Missouri. Many local businesses have released their employees evacuate the city while local schools have dismissed classes early in order to allow their students to serve as footsoldiers in the disorder of Pantsuit making.

The accused officer was acquitted in a bench trial where the Judge concurred with the initial investigation of the shooting, that the evidence to justify a murder conviction was not there.

At present masses of protesters have obstructed a number of surface streets. It is probable that police lines containing the protesters may be breeched breached in time to conveniently allow the protesters to obscure Interstate 64 and other freeways just in time for the evening commute. The dominant sentiment among locals questioned about their feeling on the emergent disorder is "Really, again?"

Pantsuit's Party Reacts To Pantsuit's Book By Capitulating To President Trump

Pantsuit's political party has reacted to the release of arch-pantsuit Hilary Rodham-Clinton's book by capitulating to the legitimacy of elected President Donald Trump's 8 year Reich. The text titled 'What Happened' presents numerous conspiracy theories while ignoring the actual determinant of her loss. This marks a substantial abandonment of their party's base by elected members of the now weakly Pantsuit aligned party. Trump is supplying ample ammunition for commie pinkos of various flavours to mount credible primary campaigns against establishment Pantsuits for their betrayal of their base in the rapidly approaching 2018 legislative election cycle.

Meanwhile after having been released from the restrictions of public employment, Presidential loyalist Steve Bannon is working hard on GOP primary campaigns to shape that party to the will of its elected President.

Civil Unrest Continues In Charleston: Leftist Culture Warriors Move Historical Revisionism Target To University Founder Thomas Jefferson

Following last month's violence in Charlottesville, Virginia at the hands of antifa terrorists another leftist group is escalating its nuisance presence. A group of neo-Maoist cultural revolutionaries advocating for an agenda authored by a group calling itself "the Black Student Alliance" but which the neo-Moaists calling themselves "the Black Student Alliance" insist was not actually them, vandalized a statute of third United States President and University of Virginia founder Thomas Jefferson.

The unnamed neo-Maoists <sarcasm>who surely weren't the named nao-Maoists</sarcasm> covered the statue in a black shroud and placed signs alleging the dead polymath is "racist" and "rapist" [sic]. Today's president of the university founded by Jefferson, a different kind of cultural Marxist calling itself Teresa A. Sullivan offered a number of utterances which included:

I strongly disagree with the protestors’ decision to cover the Jefferson statue. I also recognize the rights of those present at the protest to express their emotions and opinions regarding the recent horrific events that occurred on our Grounds and in Charlottesville…

however, he was also a slave owner… The University1 has acknowledged its controversial history and we continue to learn from it through open dialogue and civil discourse.

The yet another kind of Marxist Law Center intent on perpetuating Southern Poverty has failed to name "the Black Student Alliance" as a hate group.


  1. Once again founded by the memorialized man in question on his initiative  

Preet Reduced To Panhandling Disc Jockey, Again Demonstrating Costs Of Opposing Republic

Focusing on "issues of justice and fairness", discredited and disowned enemy of The Republic Preet Bharara (WOT:nonperson) is preparing to launch a new weekly podcast series entitled "Stay Tuned with Preet". The "imwithher" mouthpiece New York Public Radio has picked up the forthcoming series in order to ensure that only delusional liberals listen to Herr Bharara's echo-chamber shannonizing.

Far Left Media Covers for Violent Even-Further-Left-ists Assault on Landscaping Vehicle

In the most recent chapter of "I can't believe how far they'll go to undermine their own credibility!", Jeff Bezos' Amazon Washington Post artlessly deploys the passive voice in its coverage of provincial stotting and other chimp activity.

A brief review of what passes for videography courtesy Maggie Vespa KGW1 in the service of American Journalism shows that where JBAWP reported "counterprotesters shouting at the driver", violent leftist elements clearly lobbed improvised ballistic lols at an iconic American landscaping vehicle (0:09), prompting its hasty retreat from a hostile work environment. After local deputies of the federal-gendarmerie-in-waiting2 stopped and extracted the vehicle's operator for forcing it through a red light against its will (4:10), the Violent Vanguard of the Left (in a scene eerily reminiscient of Stanly Kubrick's openeing sequence for 2001, A Space Odyssey) tentatively approached the idle vehicle, and assaulted the defenseless capital equipment.

Given the typical Redditor's underdeveloped upper body strength, the editorial staff of QNTRA expects the truck to make a speedy recovery, and haul itself back to its duties in the Great Again expediently and without complaint. Pence in our time.


  1. Journalists are gleefully leading the charge into Max Barry's utopia as described in "Jennifer Government", taking their employers brands for their own last names. 

  2. The Portland Police Bureau bent and spread proudly in 2014 to accomodate Federal encroachment into their sovereign right to mistreat populations the Pantsuit wishes to elevate out of the Untouchable caste. 

US Debt Ceiling Adds Zeros, Ensures Future Heroes

With the signing into law of the suspended debt ceiling by The Trumpenfuhrer, the total American National Debt now stands at over $20 Trillion United States Dollars. This figure is up a modest $215 Billion in the first ten months of the Trumpreich, or barely a fifth of the average annual national debt accumulated by his penguin-walking predecessor. Do you need more proof that some semblance of order is being restored to the swamp ?

Still, as of this writing, this government-fueled financial burden represents an economic growth repellent of $62`000 per person and $167`000 per taxpayer, which doesn't even factor in nearly $50 Trillion in business, mortgage, and consumer debt held by the former largest economy in the world.

Such levels of fiat malaise ensure that the future will be rife with heroes. Freedom demands it.

Another Trezor "Hardware Wallet" Default Flaw: Trezord.exe Phones Home

Reports are emerging that the developers of the Trezor "hardware wallet" designed their Microsoft Windows driver Trezord.exe to phone home each time it's started. While phoning home it further downloads files from Jeff Bezos presents Washington Post Amazon Web Services servers.

Edit: This behavior also occurs on other platforms when using Trezor's official driver.