Jeff Bezos and his beleaguered ex-wife MacKenzie have reached a divorce agreement which will make Jeff's ex the "World's 4th Richest Woman" holding a 4% stake in Amazon valued at ~35 billion USD (archived). MacKenzie declined to take stakes in Jeff's rocket startup Blue Origin or Jeff's troubled Washington Post gossip network. MacKenzie is ceding her stock's voting rights to Jeff for 25 years. The dissolution of the Bezos household comes after Bezos indiscretely dipped into a nearly 50 year old matron behind MacKenzie's back.
Bezos has taken to blaming the House of Saud for hacking his phone and leaking his sexts in recent days (archived).
The field of candidates to take the Pantsuitist position challenging Trump in the 2020 election has swollen to 46, a figure that only includes declared candidates. Undeclared candidate, frontrunner, and former assistant to Hussein Bahamas, Joe Biden is facing an early obstacle as Pantsuitists debate how far to take their "believe women" mantra when it concerns their own ranks. The aged Biden has a long history of making affectionate contact with women and children at campaign events, a habit which began long before his party's recent Puritan turn against any contact between homo sapiens that isn't explicitly homosexual.
These assaults have recently been used by Pantsuitists to deperson many of their own strongest supporters in order to create openings for younger, dumber replacements. Thanks to the rapid changes in their behavioral rules enabled by taking social media mobs seriously, anyone who subscribes to pantsuit insanity finds themself incapable of defending themself from future charges as popular mores become ever more Puritan. Especially if the only thing moderating the lynch mobs surrounding Biden is that he was Hussein Bahamas's Vice President less than three years ago.
Given the immense size of the field and popular consensus that the incumbent Trump is deeply unpopular, this is set to be an incredibly bloody primary contest.
British wordpress plugin firm Pipdig has been caught using customer sites as attack bots in a campaign against a competing firm (archived).
With Brexit Day winding to a close the Brits are still wanking over how exactly to Brexit with Parliament voting "no" leaving with a deal and leaving without a deal. Theresa May is calling for a fourth vote on her "soft Brexit" deal thrice rejected in parliament next week, should her government survive that long. Once again modern democracy inteprets a simple proposition, in this case "leave the EU", as anything but the actual fucking words.
The European Union has passed a measure requiring cars to be fitted with a nagging speed nanny systems by 2022 (archived). The naggers will import speed data from the vehicle's GPS reported location as well as from a forward pointed camera intended to read speed limit signs. During the first implementation phase driver's will be able to over ride the system and disable it, though every time the vehicle starts the nagger will be enabled by default. Eventually EU social engineers have expressed their hope that with continued exposure to the nagger, they will be able to remove the allowance for its disabling. Mandatory pre-wiring with a harness to allow installation of alcohol interlock devices without further vehicle modification is included in this nanny state measure as well.
Post Brexit Britain will also suffer imposition of the naggers as well under its current transportation regime thanks to the eagerness of bureaucrats to agree to absolutely anything at all, so long as they have an opportunity to agree to something.
The commercial vessel Elhiblu 1 rescued 108 migrants and was hijacked by the same after the the mass of humanity pulled from the sea discovered the ship would be taking them back to Africa rather than onward to Europe (archived). This is not the first time helpless African migrants turned violent against their maritime saviors after discovering their rescuers logistics conflicted with their wishes.
All 16 counts of felony disorderly conduct in the case of Jussie Smollet scamming two Nigerian brothers to stage a hate hoax have been dropped. Smollet agreed to forfeit the
100,000 10,000 USD bond he posted for pre-trial release though all parties involved insist that the bond forfeiture was in no way related to the cessation of prosecution. The potential still exists for the USG to make a federal case out of the affair.
Ross Ulbricht remains in prison on a sentence that the USG would like to see end only with Ubricht's own death, the imposition of the sentence was abetted by his own legal counsel.
The European Union parliament has passes a measure "reforming" their copyrasty regime to include upload filters, licensing mandates, and possible link taxes (archived). The European council will consider the measure April 9th. If passed by the council, EU members will be compelled to adopt the new copyrasty regime in their local laws or leave.
USG prosecutors are increasingly turning intra-marital disputes into federal cases for the purpose of disarming American males (archived).
Meanwhile, Illinois is looking to test legislation mandating serializing handgun ammunition with no grandfather clause allowing private possession of ammunition purchased before the serialization requirements go into effect (archived). The text of the proposed bill singles out .22 caliber rimfire ammunition as subject to the serialization requirement, and each round of traditional unserialized ammunition would count as a seperate offense. This is a serious problem for target shooters who buy .22 long rifle by the 500 round brick. The full text of the Illinois proposal scheduled for a hearing in committee tomorrow is presented below: Continue reading
The embattled hate organization calling itself the "Southern Poverty Law Center" is looking for a new president and a new legal director as departures continue (archived). As the hate organization finds itself increasingly the defendant in court as opposed to aggressing and filing amicus briefs, inconvenient stories attributed to insiders are making the rounds including consistent reports of pervasive colorism with a plantation style split between poorly paid dark skinned clerical workers and higher paid, light skinned "leadership" in their own organization.