The slow motion flailing of empires against one another continues as the Shanghai International Energy Exchange has begun pricing crude oil contracts in the Chinese Renmibi rather than that other paper currency. (archived)
Reports out of the former Rhodesia indicate that recently deposed first lady Grace Mugabe's farm has a pest control problem with numerous orchards and fields uprooted by goldminers (archived). Mugabe and her husband's regime oversaw the uncompensated seizure of land including the farm currently occupied by an estimated 400 gold diggers from white farmers.
As part of the ongoing cleaving initiated by the Brexit process, the European Union is moving to cancel all .eu domain names with registrants based in Airstrip One. How future departures will be handled is uncertain at this time.
Reports are emerging that aerospace giant Boeing's production process has been crippled by malware utilizing exploits farmed by the United States NSA. According to local media reports the ransomware outbreak has crippled commercial airline production equipment and an effect on military products production is likely though unmentioned in the popular press (archived).
The Embassy of Ecuador in London has cut off communications between Julian Assange and the outside world following pressure from NATO member states. Recently the sublethal poisoning of a British Spy in London with a common nerve agent has been used as a pretext for the United Kingdom to pressure its allies into isolating Russia and other percieved enemies. The full text of Ecuador's announcement is below:
28 de marzo de 2018
EL GOBIERNO DE ECUADOR SUSPENDE LAS COMUNICACIONES DE JULIAN ASSANGE
El Gobierno de Ecuador suspendió de los sistemas que permiten a Julian Assange comunicarse con el exterior desde la embajada ecuatoriana en Londres, en donde el ciudadano permanece en situación de protección internacional desde hace seis años debido al riesgo que corre su vida e integridad.
La medida fue adoptada ante el incumplimiento por parte de Assange del compromiso escrito que asumió con el Gobierno a finales de 2017, por el que se obligaba a no emitir mensajes que supusieran una injerencia en relación a otros Estados.
El Gobierno de Ecuador advierte de que el comportamiento de Assange, con sus mensajes a través de las redes sociales, pone en riesgo las buenas relaciones que el país mantiene con Reino Unido, con el resto de los Estados de la Unión Europea y otras naciones. Por todo ello, para prevenir potenciales perjuicios, la embajada en Londres interrumpió este 27 de marzo las comunicaciones al exterior a las que tiene acceso Assange.
El Ejecutivo mantiene además abiena la vía a la adopción de nuevas medidas ante el incumplimiento del compromiso por parte de Assange.
Ryan Bundy, a milita veteran of the 2016 Oregon liberation effort, announced he is running for the Governorship of Nevada. Ryan Bundy was wounded by federal gunfire in the FBI ambush where Lavoy Finicum was murdered. Bundy is mounting his campaign as an independent, to qualify for inclusion on the ballot Nevada law presents the rather trivial barrier of collecting 250 petition signatures before June 1st.
On Monday, March 26, armed thugs representing themselves as "Spanish National Police, with the support of Europol, the US FBI, the Romanian, Belarussian and Taiwanese authorities and private cyber security companies" arrested a yet-unnamed "mastermind" — who stands accused of causing "cumulative losses of over EUR 1 billion for the financial industry". And apparently this is not difficult:
"In all these attacks, a similar modus operandi was used. The criminals would send out to bank employees spear phishing emails with a malicious attachment impersonating legitimate companies. Once downloaded, the malicious software allowed the criminals to remotely control the victims’ infected machines, giving them access to the internal banking network and infecting the servers controlling the ATMs. This provided them with the knowledge they needed to cash out the money."
I.e. chair warmers were asked politely to install "Back Orifice" — and they (whether out of stupidity, or in exchange for a cut of the take — we are not told) obliged. As for MS-Windows, installed on bank infrastructure and in ATM boxes all over Europe: it, in turn, worked precisely as it was designed to work.
As of the time of this writing, the number of "bank employees" arrested in connection with their indispensable work in making this heist possible — stands at: zero. Likewise, the number of Microsoft executives held to answer for the very existence of "infectious attachments" as a concept — stands also at zero.1
The "mastermind" and his merry men also stand accused of Bernankeization without a license:
"Databases with account information were modified so bank accounts balance would be inflated, with money mules then being used to collect the money."
Magicking money into existence from thin air is, we learn, A-OK when carried out from a well-pedigreed bag of lard parked in an Aeron in New York — but not so much when it is done by non-bluebloods and on the wrong side of the Atlantic.
The accused, presently nameless — and held incommunicado — also stand to be punished for the unforgivable USG.crime of having "laundered via cryptocurrencies".
On the other hand, the EU bureaucracy informs us that the "perpetrator" of this "crime" supposedly was "vacationing in Spain" — rather suspiciously similar to the previous three major USG.kidnapping-under-the-colour-of-law victims; evidently crafting a replacement cover story for USG thugs' free hand in lifting people straight from the streets of Bucharest & elsewhere, would overrun the budget? ↩
A disarmament march carried out by young pantsuits supporting citizen disarmament in the United States was overshadowed in the Pantsuit media this weekend by celebrity opposition. The trend was started by a National Rifle Association interview with beloved gangsta rapper Killer Mike who attacked young gun grabbers as 'progressive lackeys' and 'not woke' working to 'progress us into slavery' (archived).
This was followed today by pantsuit pearl clutching in outrage against Bataclan terror attack survivor Jesse Helms who compared people opposing their own gun ownership because of violence to men chopping off their own dicks to stop rape. Helms further accused the student activists the pantsuit march was centered around of exploiting their classmates' deaths for Facebook likes (archived).
News has emerged this weekend that Norway, a country that consistently tops development indices as compiled by pantsuits, lacks the infrastructure to recieve imported cars. Elon Musk's Tesla Motors has been frustrated by the lack of transporters sufficiently competent to move their product from ports of entry to customers (archived). Incidents include cars being crushed during transport due to collapse of the trailer carrying them and numerous interdictions of shipments by police leading to substantial delays following failed safety inspections.
On Friday, March 23, USG once more indulged its recently-acquired taste for indicting in absentia loyal soldiers of a sovereign nation — this time, nine signals-intelligence professionals residing in, and lawful citizens of, Iran. For carrying out their duties in service to their sovereign, USG saw it fit to charge (archived OCR) them in USG kangaroo court with the USG.crime of "Conspiracy to Commit Computer Intrusions".
For the role of "victims" of this "crime", USG chief prosecutor Rosenstein cast:
"… 144 U.S. universities, 176 universities across 21 foreign countries, 47 domestic and foreign private sector companies, the U.S. Department of Labor, the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, the State of Hawaii, the State of Indiana, the United Nations, and the United Nations Children’s Fund",
from whom the "criminals" have "stolen" "…more than 31 terabytes of academic data and intellectual property".
Interestingly, the most unforgivable USG.crime committed by the accused appears to have been a successful attempt to… re-create, in-house, "SciHub":
"The members of the conspiracy used stolen account credentials to obtain unauthorized access to victim professor accounts, which they used to steal research, and other academic data and documents, including, among other things, academic journals, theses, dissertations, and electronic books. The defendants targeted data across all fields of research and academic disciplines, including science and technology, engineering, social sciences, medical, and other professional fields. The defendants stole at least approximately 31.5 terabytes of academic data and intellectual property, which they exfiltrated to servers outside the United States that were under the control of members of the conspiracy… …Megapaper sold stolen academic resources to customers within Iran, including Iran-based public universities and institutions, and Gigapaper sold a service to customers within Iran whereby purchasing customers could use compromised university professor accounts to directly access the online library systems of particular U.S.-based and foreign universities."
I.e. roughly the same act of "terrorism" for which Aaron Swartz was hanged in New York in 2013.
It is worth noting that, while USG at one time, not so long ago, had "long hands" in Iran, these hands have recently acquired a tendency to get abruptly shortened — Iranian-style. Therefore it remains unclear how, if at all, USG intends to bring the nine "criminals" to "justice". And one may safely suppose that the only people likely to hang in connection to this "conspiracy"… are the remaining USG moles in Iran, who supplied Rosenstein and his assistant Freislers with their "evidence".
"31337 w4r3z" in our time.