In the most recent chapter of "I can't believe how far they'll go to undermine their own credibility!", Jeff Bezos' Amazon Washington Post artlessly deploys the passive voice in its coverage of provincial stotting and other chimp activity.
A brief review of what passes for videography courtesy Maggie Vespa KGW1 in the service of American Journalism shows that where JBAWP reported "counterprotesters shouting at the driver", violent leftist elements clearly lobbed improvised ballistic lols at an iconic American landscaping vehicle (0:09), prompting its hasty retreat from a hostile work environment. After local deputies of the federal-gendarmerie-in-waiting2 stopped and extracted the vehicle's operator for forcing it through a red light against its will (4:10), the Violent Vanguard of the Left (in a scene eerily reminiscient of Stanly Kubrick's openeing sequence for 2001, A Space Odyssey) tentatively approached the idle vehicle, and assaulted the defenseless capital equipment.
Given the typical Redditor's underdeveloped upper body strength, the editorial staff of QNTRA expects the truck to make a speedy recovery, and haul itself back to its duties in the Great Again expediently and without complaint. Pence in our time.
Journalists are gleefully leading the charge into Max Barry's utopia as described in "Jennifer Government", taking their employers brands for their own last names. ↩
The Portland Police Bureau bent and spread proudly in 2014 to accomodate Federal encroachment into their sovereign right to mistreat populations the Pantsuit wishes to elevate out of the Untouchable caste. ↩