Amazon Fucks Retailers, Panics Customers With Recall Week Before Total Eclipse

Jeff Bezos' Amazon has recalled numerous sun and eclipse viewing products exactly one week before a total solar eclipse crosses North America (archived). Amazon is alleging that numerous "reports of counterfeits" have compelled them to undertake this blanket recall though Amazon has never been particularly remorseful about selling counterfeit products in the past. The specter of mass blindness however seems to have moved Amazon to act in this one instance.

In typically Incan fashion, Amazon recalled products from a number of their "partner" vendors without any regard for paper work previously submitted establishing authenticity and safety of the recalled products. Naturally this has thoroughly fucked Amazon's "partners" who are now sitting on substantial inventory tied to an infrequent event Amazon has decided to write off. Likewise Amazon's Incan decision making has left their customers panicked, customers who are by and large incapable of assessing the safety of their now recalled purchases with time burning rapidly in advance of the sun's temporary egress from the sky.

As of this writing, the few remaining Amazon listed eclipse viewers sell for fiat equivalent to 0.05-0.1 BTC at current rates offered by fiat/Bitcoin interfaces. Qntra readers who wish to view the eclipse are advised that a welding visor which can be set at "shade 13" is the sweet spot for intermittent direct observations of the sun. Shade 12 offers a lower margin of comfort while shade 14 is too dark to allow a quality viewing experience. However, there is no remedy for having "partnered" with Amazon.

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