Exposed: US Navy Officer Corps Not Very Good At Boating

A publication calling itself the "Military Times" has published an exposé titled "Maybe today’s Navy is just not very good at driving ships" (archived). Unlike mainstream Fake News coverage of recent events, this exposé's narrative is concordant with known facts about the world including:

  1. Secretarial skills and consistently passing "inspection" are more valued in the Incan US Department of Defense than competence, job skills, or actual human functional abilities
  2. Naval Officers including "Surface Warfare Officers" were frequently taken out of maritime service in order to provide tours of administrative and secretarial support to land forces in the ongoing Union wars of aggression against Iraq and Afghanistan. Selections for these tours was looked upon favourably in promotion boards because "interdisciplinary" is a buzzword.
  3. The US Navy eliminated their 6 month basic Surface Warfare Officer course for newly commissioned officers in 2003. It was replaced by a 21 disk course on CD-ROM.

Fourteen years after the US Navy replaced their basic Surface Warfare Course with a CD-ROM boxed set, the longest experiment in computer disk based instructional courses is reaching its apex as graduates of the CD-ROM course are beginning to assume command positions. Pence in our time.

US President Trump Issues His First Executive Pardon

Elected US President Donald Trump issued the first pardon of his presidency to former Maricopa County, Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio. The 85 year old had been convicted this summer in federal court of misdemeanor contempt for taking a stand for actual federalism over the "federal" government. With Arpaio's sentencing scheduled for October and the possibility that Sheriff Joe could have effectively been sentenced to die in prison for a misdemeanor due to his advanced age, President Donald Trump compassionately used his constitutionally unlimited power of the pardon to relieve Sheriff Joe.

Fake News commentators are already calling this exercise of a Presidential power specifically enumerated in the US Constitution as "An unconstitutional attack on the judiciary".

Bitcoin Network Mining Difficulty Drops ~3.8 Percent To Second Place Versus All Time High

At the latest Bitcoin network mining difficulty adjustment, difficulty fell approximately 3.8 percent from the all time high of 923233068448.90527344 to a new second highest all time value of 888171856257.32055664 today. Aside from typical variance, the possibility of some hashpower  inflicting woe upon a certain altcoin and heroically repatriating BTC value may have contributed to this small drop in difficulty.

"NYTIMES: Corporations Moral Voice Of America" – Soviet America Continues Thrashing

In an op ed, The New York Times is asserting that American corporations, have become the "moral" voice of the United States (archived). These nominally private socialist extensions of the leftist Hussein Bahamas flavored pantsuit USG in exile have become more overtly political since Hussein Bahamas was deposed by elected US President Donald Trump.

These corporations including McDonalds, Walmart, and Microsoft have historically had a symbiotic relationship with the socialist USG with each feeding the other in a cycle that grows more Inca while making any quality of life far more difficult to achieve in the United Soviet of America.

The battle over the Great Again has brought to light numerous truths about the Soviet America which the Soviets would have preferred to conceal, if only their desperation didn't demand they reveal themselves for what they are. The hard truth is that Amazon, Warren Buffett, and McDonalds require socialism and cultural Marxism in a way that not even the most gender weird marijuana laced KKKalifornian university "professor" does. Expect more emergent weird as traditional adversaries like the New York Times and "the corporations" reveal they were in this together the whole time. Soviet America continues thrashing.

Austria And Car Makers Conspire To Cripple 600,000 Cars Already Sold

Austrian Transport Minister Joerg Leichtfried announced today that a number of car manufacturers have signed the papers to impose software changes on 600,000 diesel vehicles which would lessen their drivability. Despite the fact of these vehicles already having been sold, the manufacturers decided that fucking their customers over by retroactively making the cars shittier in order to satisfy Austrian Transport Minister Joerg Leichtfried (WOT:nonperson) was apparently an acceptable course of action.

US Warship Named For Minor Dynasty Suffers Casualties After Aggressing Against 30,000 Ton, Ten Knot Commercial Vessel

The USS John S. McCain (DDG-56)1 suffered casualties after it collided with the Liberian commercial vessel Alnic MC in an act of aggression by the runty warship.

The runt, an Arleigh Burke class guided missile destroyer named for the grandfather and father of sitting US Senator John S. McCain III, for aggressing beyond its station suffered a hull breach flooding the barracks and reports 10 crew members missing with another five injured. The victim of the warship's ill advised aggression reports minor damage to their bow.

This is the third incident so far this year in the Pacific where aggression by a US warship against a commercial vessel lead to a collision. The only incident where the aggressing US warship inflicted more damaged than it suffered was when the thirty year old and 568 foot long USS Lake Champlain (CG-57) hit a 70 foot fishing vessel near Korea. In a fourth incident from this January the USS Antietam, named after the Battle of Sharpsburg in the American War of Northern Aggression, confused the ground with a commercial vessel and collided with it thereby self inflicting damage to its propulsion system.

  1. Not to be confused with it's predecessor the USS John S. McCain (DL-3) which was commissioned 1953 – 1978  

Minor Pantsuit Apologizes For Crime Against Trump

Hours ago obese minor Pantsuit Party operative and Missouri State Senator Maria Chappelle-Nadal issued an apology to US President Donald Trump. On August 17th, 2017 Chappelle-Nadal posted:

I hope Trump is assassinated!

Since making the post, Chappelle-Nadal has been condemned by a number of Pantsuit higher ups, with all of zher fellow pantsuit partisans calling for zher resignation. From 2005 through 2009  Chappelle-Nadal sat on the Democratic National Committee, steering Pantsuit's platform for zherdemocracy.

Boston Free Speech Rally Quashed By Pro-Censorship Forces, Pickup Truck Bed Flag Index Climbs

A rally in support of Free Speech set to happen in Boston was cancelled today after pro censorship terrorists massed in opposition to the rally. After antifa terrorists attacked a similar rally in Charlottesville, Virginia; organizers of the Boston event distanced themselves from the Charlottesville event organized by former Obama For America activist Jason Kessler. This denunciation seemed to embolden the forces of leftist terrorists with ~30,000 marching against free speech in Boston today.

Meanwhile outside of coastal pantsuit strongholds, the Pickup Truck Bed Flag1 index is nearing the all time high set on the night of May 2nd, 2011 after Osama Bin Laden's death was announced. The PTBF is an indicator of acute political interest among rural, conservative2 Americans. This latest increase differs from the 2011 run up in that 2011's peak featured the flag of the occupying Union government forces nearly exclusively. Now the Union flag is losing substantial truck bed share to the Gadsden flag suggestion a more aggressively rebellious posture on the part of rural Americans.

  1. abbreviated PTBF  

  2. i.e. Real