Fiat Wraps Up Miserable May As Malaise Reaches New Lows

The period of sustained malaise which hit fiat currencies this year continues to take it's toll with the United States dollar spending much of May under 1/2000th of a Bitcoin. New all time lows for the dollar threatened to cross 1/3000th of a Bitcoin, but they did cross the 1/2800th mark more than doubling the dollar's pre-2017 low mark. At present fiat/Bitcoin interfaces are sitting around a ~1/2200th of a Bitcoin price for the US dollar, a mark unheard of before this May. Sorry for your loss.

Lazy Wreckers Actually Dare To Name Their Thing "EtherDoge"

A new token launching soon on the Ethereum database, dubbed "EtherDoge", will attempt to combine forces of the forces of twin scams of Ether and Doge to liberate US 1 Million from the pockets and couch cushions of gullible redditards by combining "the fun of Doge and the technology of Ethereum into one". A companion subreddit, r/etherdoge, was launched almost a month ago1 and currently ticks a paltry 75 subscribers. No date has been announced for the start of the crowdsale, though the official website located at promises "So future many wow!" for anyone buying the tokens. The scheme is apparently one of the endless schemes predicted to surface when Dogetipbot scam ended last month.

  1. Related or not, alt-Soros Zbigniew Brzezinski fucked off out of the world of the living earlier this week.  

USG Stoolie Noriega Dead

United States CIA "School of the Americas" graduate Manuel Noriega died today at age 83. In cooperation with the US Central Intelligence Agency, Noriega seized power in Panama and ran Panama as a successful pharmaceutical business until business disagreements emerged between himself and his one time partners at the CIA.

In consideration of his long service to the CIA's narcobusiness, Noriega was deposed by US military forces in an action condemned by the United Nations General Assembly, and thusly imprisoned for trafficking narcotics with an expired USG.CIA narcotics trafficking license.

Merkel Gets Cocky After Pantsuit Party's Macron Win In France

Weimar leader Angela Merkel is doubling down on zher growing role as the public leader of the International Pantsuit Party's establishment1 while campaigning for re-election as chancellor of the Weimar Republic, by suggesting Europe can no longer depend on America… And by America zhe means Britain… And Poland… And Hungary… And much of the French Population… And any other Europeans who are insufficiently Weimar to be European.

Zher comments on the future of Weimar trailed NATO and G7 meetings where United States President Donald Trump embarrassed the Weimar Europeans for balking on their NATO dues and trying to push for stricter "environmental" rules2 while the de facto German state owned firm Volkswagen faked exhaust emissions with lying software  initially sold as engineering "innovation". The Krauts go to the polls this September.

  1. Longtime Pantsuit Party leader and US President Reject Hillary Rodham-Clinton has meanwhile been relegated to speaking on college campuses about the hallucinatory coping powers offered by Chardonnay.  

  2. i.e. opportunities for the Weimars to gain unfair competitive advantage via fraud  

Media Attacks Montana Candidate For Defending Self Against Physical Assault By Goon

Numerous left wing fake news outlets are besieging Montana congressional candidate Greg Gianforte after Ben Jacobs, a goon and agitator hired by the Britain's Guardian toilet paper, attempted to assault the candidate.

On the eve of the special election, Jacobs entered Gianforte's office without invitation during a meeting with another so-called journalist. Jacobs immediately engaged in verbal aggression and came within a distance of the candidate so close as to cause alarm, especially in light of the growing epidemic of leftist violence in the United States. Gianforte engaged in justified self defense to expel the invader from his office.

After the local sheriff cited Gianforte for misdemeanor assault on the strength of witness testimony delivery the invader Jacobs' allied witnesses who happened to be in the room meeting with the candidate when Jacobs began his performance.

Gianforte's only major fault in this situation lies in the risk miscalculation that lead him to attempt to engage with political agents of the fake news establishment as though they were neutral observers or actual journalists. Gianforte made a second, minor error in not roughing up the other journalists present in order to change their standing from witnesses to combatants, but this error follows from the first.

Still No Consensus Supporting Bitcoin Hardfork – Barry Silbert Pretends Otherwise To His Peril

Barry Silbert's (WOT:nonperson) "Digital Currency Group" announced in a medium post that yet another delusion of consensus arrived in the Bitcoin scaling debate with "A conference sponsored by the Ethereum,1 Dash,2 and Ripple3 scams produces an agreement on how to scale Bitcoin". The post outlined the reasons the conference attendees believe they get to make decisions in Bitcoin, with claims of support for the proposals by:

  • 56 "companies" located in 21 countries4
  • 83.28% of hashing power5
  • 5.1 billion US dollars of monthly on chain transaction volume6
  • 20.5 million Bitcoin wallets 7

A selection of scam artists doing business as "companies" while lacking the charm necessary to fleece the elderly allege they will "provide technical and engineering support to test and support the upgrade software, as well as to assist companies with preparing for the upgrades". Noted names incapable of providing meaningful testing or support such as: the MLM BitClub Network, Ryan X. Charles' paywalled spam reader, and Gavin Assassinsen were offered as options for the forkcurious to seek support from.

  1. Not Bitcoin.  

  2. Not Bitcoin.  

  3. Not Bitcoin.  

  4. For a very loose definition of company.  

  5. Unverified and unimportant  

  6. Volume denoted in wrong units 

  7. Entirely meaningless construction  

Impeachment Fantasy Of US Socialist Party Begins Collapsing As Infighting Resumes

The socialist fad sweeping fake news outlets last week threatening a swift Trump impeachment appears to be cracking as the US arm of the Pantsuit Party faces difficulty handling its constituents. National Party chair Tom Perez was heckled for being himself and using insufficiently vulgar language towards Donald Trump, elected United States President and High Priest of The Great Again.

While the Pantsuits and their constituents on Reddit and WORLDSTAR continue escalating their public conflicts, evidence continues to mount that an insider and not the Russians were behind the publication of the party's emails. President Trump, through once again turning towards action, compelled the fake news media to show Trump's warm reception by the Saudis and the Israelis.1

  1. Not mentioned by the fake news media is both regimes' traditional alignment towards the United States and against Russia.