Trumpreich Swamp Draining Plans Still Elusive, No Dykes, Weirs, Or Windmills Proposed

The United States President Elect has still failed to present any plans for a system of dykes, weirs, and windmills to drain water from the swamp. He was however begun filling out his cabinet. Notable selections include:

  • Tom Price,  former orthopedic surgeon and future secretary of Health and Human services. This move has generated heated debated with lines roughly drawn between health customer service providers that draw comfortable salaries and those who attempt operating a business by billing for services.
  • James 'Mad Dog' Mattis, retired US Marine Corps General for secretary of defense. This selection has been unusually unchallenged in the press. Mattis is notable for bombing wedding parties1 and an unusual willingness to relieve his command of officers who would not get with his program. Mattis enjoys a retirement gig as a Director on the board of General Dynamics and Theranos.
  • Betsy Davos, an heir by marriage to the Amway multi level marketing fortune, to secretary of education.
  • Preet Bharara to continue as United States Attorney for the District of Manhattan.
  • No pick has been announced for Secretary of State. Instead the fate of the position filled by failed presidential candidates Hillary Rodham-Clinton and John Kerry is surrounded by rumors, innuendo, and speculation in line with the sacred traditions of "reality" television.

  1. Notable benefit: less surviving relatives to avenge the deceased  

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