The Wail of "Our Democracy"! A Holiday Roundup Xtend Special Edition (TM)(R)

We bring tidings of lulz in this very Qntra Roundup Xtend Holiday Special Edition.

  • Following a recount of votes, Trump's margin of victory increased in the states where ballots were re-examined, and substantial voter fraud was uncovered in Michigan. It was revealed that in the democratic party stronghold of Detroit far more votes were initially counted than were actually cast, and this fraud favored Trump's challenger Hillary Rodham-Clinton. Officials in Detroit are attributing the fraud to "errors" involving faulty voting machines.  This news did not receive attention in the "mainstream" press.
  • Following a week long divide between the CIA and FBI on whether Russia influenced the election the two agencies came together to believe that Russia was probably involved. Further in a statement the US Secretary of Homeland Security and the Director of National Intelligence1 stated they believe that the sort of hacks observed could have only been ordered by senior Russian officials.
  • Wikileaks continues to assert that the leaked Democratic National Committee lulz came from a party insider.
  • A single spear phishing email reportedly compromised a number of servers at the United States' Department of Defense and the accounts of hundreds of senior officers including a number of Generals were compromised. As a result the Pentagon trashed the old machines, bought new machines, and bought new software licenses with which to refill the machines.
  • Media talking heads taking a "moderate" position on alleged Russian hacking are being moderate by suggesting Russia didn't hack voting machines, but instead "hacked" the voters through social engineering. To them this still amounts to unacceptable "foreign interference".
  • There is minimal discussion on the foreign interference on the election exercised by George Soros, The Guardian, Qatar, and numerous other supporters of Hillary Rodham Clinton's Democratic party.
  • The electoral college meets to submit the actual Presidential vote on Monday. Some especially butthurt fantasies involve the electors, selected for their history of party loyalty, might vote for someone other than the President elect. Another fantasy of the butthurt suggest their meeting be delayed until they can be "briefed" on all the "facts" concerning foreign interference in the election.2
  • Moves in fiat securities and bond markets suggest that with help from the guiding hand of the socialist controlled Federal Reserve, the president elect could be handed an fine handcrafted economic calamity early in his reign.
  • An informal poll of Hillary Rodham Clinton and Donald Trump voters3 suggests that 100% of them would have voted for Vladimir Putin if constitutional eligibility requirements for the Presidency were not a concern.

Peace in our uTime!

  1. Both political appointees from the side that lost the election.  

  2. If such an unconstitutional delay was prolonged indefinitely Hussein Bahamas could conceivably serve as President for life.  

  3. Two total respondents 

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