Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 9 (TM)(R)

Welcome to the ninth edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are decidedly innocent of newsworthiness.

  • Via Wikileaks and the hacking of a senior aide's email account, substantial excepts from Hillary Rodham-Clinton's private speeches to investment bankers and other senior lizards of the fiat order were leaked.  This release was counter by the mainstream press hammering on an eleven year old "entertainment news" video where Donald Trump-Clinton talked about grabbing women by the pussy and otherwise engaging in Bill Clinton-eque locker room chit chat. Guess which candidate is being pressured by one time supporters to quit the presidential race, the one whose entire public persona is a lie or the one who had a libido a decade ago.
  • The scary clown meme continues as the mainstream press continues inciting hatred and violence against the gentle minority popularly known as juggalos.
  • A second lawsuit emerged this week alleging that Marissa Mayer and other top executives at Yahoo sought to gradual eliminate and marginalize male workers at the firm. At the time of this writing there as been no word on whether a "truth and reconciliation" effort has begun to heal the wounds of Yahoo's gender war.
  • Hurricane Matthew wrecked Florida's shit. Earlier this year Hurricane Hermine was the first Hurricane to make landfall in the state since Hurricane Wilma back in 2005.
  • Germany's Bundesrat has declared war on the internal combustion engine pressuring the European Union to end the registration of gasoline and diesel powered vehicles for road use by 2030.
  • This week's most over hyped altcoin is mimblewimble which purports to be an improvement over Bitcoin by abandoning the reality commonly referred to as "history" entirely. The most discussed was Monero which suffered news following its inclusion in the fourth edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R) for being overhyped. On the upside for mimblewimble, it is sufficiently removed from value, actual implementation, and deployment to substantially reduce the likelihood of news happening to it any time in the near future.
  • Following the latest hardfork noise heating up the other side of the Hegelian dialectic seeking to kill Bitcoin is drawing attention as Blockstream purports to be closer to deploying Jim Crow for transaction signatures and their "Lightning Network" which depends upon there being a Jim Crow system.
  • Dash, formerly known for its privacy centric marketing as Darkcoin, has been recently trumpeting a partnership for identity verification in conjunction with its fiat interfaces.
  • Cases of syphilis are increasing across the United States with the exception of the Washington, DC metropolitan area. This suggest that the capital region is further ahead of the rest of the United States in its embrace of the new neo Puritan anti-sex agenda.
  • 94031244202143566798174534423023440637356261691582919641171828044851605209359 was discovered to be a number of exceptionally disproportionate popularity.

Sorry for your loss.

3 thoughts on “Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 9 (TM)(R)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>