Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 6 (TM)(R)

Welcome to the sixth edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are probably innocent of newsworthiness.

  • A mentally ill teenager from Godfrey Illinois, Keaun Cook, faces terrorism related charges in his local criminal court. The teenager was indicted in spite of a search of his home failing to find any weapons or hazardous materials as well as nearly a year of his life already spent in confinement at "mental health" facilities. His only prior criminal conviction was for misdemeanor "damage to property" after allegedly scratching a pickup truck with a rock.In 2011 a college student,¬†Olutosin Oduwole, was convicted of similar terrorism charges in the same local criminal court after a set of song lyrics were discovered in his locked vehicle when his vehicle was towed by his university's parking stasi in 2007. That particular conviction was overturned in an outright reversal by an appellate court in¬† May 2013 after the prosecution victim had already lost more than six years of his life to the ordeal.
  • In an op ed piece for the New York Times Richard Lumb advanced the position that intervention is required to "correct" the unfolding of actual historical events.
  • The United States Air Force has grounded its flavor F-35 Join Strike Fighter due to crumbling insulation. The boondoggle continues.
  • Trend pieces emerged this week documenting a new strategy American cities are using to fight rats (archived). Municipal government employees are putting chunks of solid carbon dioxide into rat burrows where the material kills the rats as it vaporizes and is then released into the atmosphere. Urban politicians and mainstream media outlets have spent years heralding the atmospheric release of carbon dioxide as the greatest threat to civilization.
  • Aspiring New York based Bitcoin exchange Itbit, after failing to become a Bitcoin exchange trading any serious volume, has decided to shift to bespoke software development and change their name to Paxos as they rebrand to shift into a completely different kind of industry.
  • A interesting case study in how for USians their everything is useless and harmful was discovered (archived).

Sorry for your loss.

4 thoughts on “Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 6 (TM)(R)

  1. The "dry ice" was from Martian atmosphere, and not Earth's? Or what.

  2. Alf doesn't understand how "carbon" works.

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