Criminal Gang In DC Passes Another Resolution To Continue Spending

An ensemble of criminals in Washington, DC popularly referred to as the "United States House of Representatives" yesterday passed yet another in a long series of "continuing resolutions" where they resolved to continue spending imaginary play money (archived). This now routine development buys these criminals more time to continue conducting their illegitimate business with the numerous accessories and accomplices to their criminal empire. Sorry for your loss.

Datskovskiy Publishes Tool For Making "Parachute" Lamport Keypairs

Saint Stanislav Datskovskiy (WOT:asciilifeform) published today a tool for creating a one time use "parachute" Lamport keypair. This type of keypair is referred to as a "parachute" because it allows a person to recover their cryptographic identity after the catastrophic compromise of the extant cryptographic system in which their identity was born. For maximum readability and understandability the ever consumate craftsman implemented this tool in bash using common userland utilities.

US Sports Team Loses Bidding War To Russian Sports Team For Sportsman

For the third consecutive year Avanguard Omsk has outbid the Saint Louis Blues for the affections of Czech ice hockey player Vladimir Sobotka. Over the past two years the Blues have tried to cast Sobotka's choice to participate in the Kontinental Hockey League club Avanguard as a "development" move allowing Sobotka more playing time to hone his skills "back home"1 when the simple fact is they've been beat at the money game.

For decades the extravagant spending of the advertising industry in the United States allowed American spectator sports teams to enjoy their pick of top players from the international market, but as the United States continues to become concretely poorer in absolute terms decisions like Vladimir Sobotka's are likely to become more common among sportsmen.

  1. Omsk is in Siberia which is not Sobotka's temperate Czech homeland. Siberia is inside Russia, and Russia is far enough from the Czech Republic that the two separate countries do not share any borders.  

ClassicCoin Supplanted By UnlimitedSpamCoin As Social Engineer's Forking Brand

The social engineering effort to fork an altcoin from the Bitcoin blockchain has changed branding yet again. This time the social engineers are beginning to push the idea of creating an altcoin based on the "Unlimited" Bitcoin network client, which was originally created to follow altcoin forks from the Bitcoin network triggered by other clients. Following theĀ  previous GavInsurrections including the failed XTCoin and underwhelming ClassicCoin coups, this latest rehash of an argument that was a non-starter from the beginning offers even less justification than its predecessors.

This latest adventure has three major public drivers:

  1. Roger Ver1 (WOT:nonperson) is continuing his long march from sanity and notably refuses to surrender his will and life to powers greater than himself, especially Bitcoin.
  2. Roger Ver continues abusing and libelling the name of Bitcoin as part of his personal branding in an effort to wantonly and maliciously confuse the uniformed. His latest transgression is the -EV proposition he dubbed "The Mining Pool."
  3. Notorious transmayogendered hamplanet and serial fraudster Marshall Long (WOT:nonperson)has yet to complete his life's mission of eating himself to death.

The actual reference Bitcoin network client remains largely unchanged and though refinements continue network consensus rules are unchanged. Accept no substitute for the real deal.

  1. His recent travels to the United States after an acrimonious public divorce strongly suggests Ver has gone stoolie.  

Record High Pumpkin Harvest On The Way

Commercial growers report a record high Illinois1 pumpkin harvest appears to be on the way this fall. This follows last year's pathetic crop which was marred by fungal blight with many of these fall squash to approach maturity rotting on the vine. Last year's pumpkin crop in the United Kingdom faced further challenges in the form of extortion.

As is traditional with niche crops in the fiat system the commercial pumpkin crop in its near entirety is grown under contract for a division of Nestle S.A. allowing growers to escape the uncertainty of market pricing and instead bet their entire farm on the season's yield. Soy for your loss.

  1. Contracting out the entire commercial pumpkin crop to one region greatly simplifies logistics for Nestle. This is a serious concern given the fragility of commercial pumpkins prior to processing.  

Refugee Death Displaces Electoral Noise From US National Conversation On Eve Of Debate

For nearly the entirety of September 25th, the day before the first debate between Donald Trump-Clinton and Hillary Rodham-Clinton news media in the United States toned down their production of electoral noise to mourn the death of a refugee. The body of Cuban refugee Jose Fernandez was recovered from an overturned boat that came to rest on a jetty off of Miami Beach around 3:30 am. Two other people were killed in the accident, but they have neither been named nor triggered a day of national mourning.1 Rest in Peace.

  1. Death is so unfair.  

Lizards have human rights too!

Things are looking up for notorious USG stoolie Brian Kerbs, whose propaganda outlet operating under a thin veneer of "security" met some difficulty earlier this week. A National Security Letter signed by none other than President Hussein Bahamas himself indicates that government's own experts specializing in identifying Russian hackers behind attacks have identified Russian hackers behind the attack. Alongside the claim of Valery Putin-Trump being responsible for the sudden lack of Kerbs in the daily online diet of the free world, Bahamas directed USG.Google, a governmental agency formerly known as a private company to host the Kerbs on its very own servers, under the aegis of Project Shield (or vice-versa).

As previously described by Google,

Project Shield welcomes applications from websites serving news, human rights, or elections monitoring content. We do not provide service to other types of content, including gaming, businesses, or individual blogs.

Hilary Clinton was busy working on an email server deployment for a paying customer and couldn't respond to our request for comment.

Difficulty Up 6.86% In Fifth Hike Since Halving

Continuing the recent trend, mining difficulty has climbed to 241,227,200,229.991, an increase of 6.82% above the previous value. For perspective, the net increase since the recent halving is only 12.99%, less than what has been previously covered in a single leap. Miner revenue from transaction fees has kept growing since then, reaching 806.50601126 bitcoins in the last adjustment period. This comprises 3.10% of the total mining rewards, and corresponds to a mean price of 54.2 satoshis per byte for a piece in our chain.

Duterte Assigns Phillipine Police To Investigate US Police

Phillipine President Rodrigo Duterte (WOT:unknown/undisclosed) has charged Phillipine National Police Chief Ronald dela Rosa with sending a task force to the United States to investigate violence committed by police in the United States (archived). While lesser world leaders limit their criticism of the criminal gang in Washington, DC's actions to those on the international stage, the ever consummate humanitarian Duterte takes America to task at home. Peace in our time.

Vox Media, Torch Bearer of Gawker Legacy Faces Own Scandal

Vox Media, the surviving heir to Gawker Media's promotion of unabashed idiotarian socialism, faces its own ethics scandal as a co-founder of Vox Media property "The Verge" secretly accepted financial compensation through employment with Apple while also being employed by Vox Media. Aside from the ridiculous construction where venture's founding partner somehow ends up an employee of that same venture, this incident provides an illuminating example of the illusory faux-ethics pushed by the socialistoid press.