US Department of "Defense" Switches To iPhone

Reports are emerging that the United States Department of "Defense"1 is moving from Google's smartphone platform to Apple's smartphone platform. Apple already enjoys a rather chummy relationship with various organs of the United States government but now Apple has won endorsement from the Special Operations Command for the supposed tactical utility offered by the iPhone 6s ™(r). The price Apple paid for the marketing value of having the iPhone, assembled in Shenzen by Hon Hai Precision Industry Co. Ltd., endorsed as a "National Security Product" used by 31337 special forces operators playing Modern Warfare IRL has not been disclosed. Peace in our time.

  1. An odd designation considering nearly all of its roles and abilities are balanced towards offensive rather than defensive capability.  

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