Microsoft, Google, And Facebook Partner With EU On Censorship Effort

"Law Enforcement" agencies in the European Union have entered into an agreement with Microsoft, Google, and Facebook to streamline their censorship processes together. The agreement is being referred to publicly as a "code of conduct" though it appears to be more akin to the also somewhat misleadingly named legal construction commonly referred to as a "consent" decree. Under the guise of combating illegal "hate" speech the companies have been pledged to censor material on their platforms determined to be "hate" speech within 24 hours. The European Commision has bound these countries to follow these guidelines singularly throughout the European Union with out any variance to accommodate local cultural norms.

Former Governors Johnson And Weld Compose US Libertarian Party Ticket

At the United States Libertarian party convention in Orlando, Florida former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson (WOT:unknown/undisclosed) and former Massachusetts governor William Weld (WOT:unknown/undisclosed) secured the party's presidential and vice presidential nominations. Johnson and Weld both served as two term governors in their respective states easily winning during their re-election campaigns. This gives them both greater executive experience in government than Major Socialist party likely nominee Hilary Rodham-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) or Minor Socialist party presumptive nominee Donald Trump-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) possesses. In national polls against Hilary Rodham-Clinton and Donald Trump-Clinton Johnson manages to consistently draw ten percent of likely voters to his ticket.

As promising as this development is it only reduces the near certainty that the next United States president will be a Clinton by the smallest of margins. Notable candidates present at the Libertarian Party convention who Johnson defeated include Vermin Supreme (WOT:unknown/undisclosed), John McAfee (WOT:nonperson), Austin Petersen (WOT:unknown/undisclosed), and Darryl Perry (WOT:unknown/undisclosed).

Self Propagating Ransomware Arrives

Microsoft is raising the alarm on the latest threat it opened its customers to: Zcryptor, a new ransomware product with self propagation features. Zcryptor is capable of deploying itself to shared network drives and portable storage devices accessible from an infected machine. Zcryptor also allows infected machines to be used as part of a DDoS gang for additional monetization opportunities. Once again ransomware seems to be leading other accessory industries surrounding Bitcoin in product improvement.

Forced Outrage Over Ohio Gorilla Shooting

USistani news outlets have been constipated this weekend trying to pass a steaming pile of forced outrage upon the American populace. At the center of this effort is the shooting of a 400 pound male gorilla that was roughly dragging a toddler through the moat of its enclosure. In order to protect the life of the toddler and to protect themselves from torts of all kinds, zoo keepers in this incident immediately used lethal force against the silverback Harambe (WOT:nonperson). Now all manner of media in the United States is reporting the story alongside substantial supposing that the situation might have been handled in some way that lead to an outcome other than Harambe's death.

Harambe's legacy of failing to drown a human child is vastly eclipsed by the accomplishments of cetacean freedom fighter Tilikum who managed to bludgeon to death and drown 3 grown adults homo sapiens trained to oppress him during his ongoing captivity at various "amusement" parks. Tilikum rather than being shot for committing homicide instead was rewarded with the opportunity to sire 21 children through his captivity with the enthusiastic assistance of his captors. Apparently in the warped value system unloaded onto the American people whale lives matter more than those of apes and mens. Sorry for your loss. Peace in Our Time.

Darkode Member Sentenced

A Louisiana man arrested in July 2015 for his role in selling a botnet on Darkode forums has been sentenced to 366 days in prison and 3 years supervised release after being found guilty of "obtaining information by computer from a protected computer". At the time of his arrest Mr. Guildry  was found to be in possession of stolen credit card information, and allegedly stole almost 150 Bitcoin from his victims. Authorities said some of the Bitcoin stolen had been converted to cash and spent. Guildry was one of 70 members of the Darkode site around the globe that were arrested in a crackdown on carding sites as part of "Operation Shrouded Horizon".

Cooling Pacific Has Potential To Further Injure Corn Belt's Fortunes This Season

As El Nino breaks in the Pacific it is set to be followed by a cooling of waters in the Pacific in a meteorological phenomenon known as La Nina. For the American Corn Belt this shift bring the potential for still further pain in a season which already has farmers scrambling in loss control mode. Depending on the degree of cooling in the Pacific the La Nina phenomenon may have a range of effects on the temperature and wind speed1  in the Middle West, but summertime La Nina events reduce reduce rainfall in a region where irrigated fields are the exception rather than the rule. A drought event in 2012 absolutely decimated crop yields due to the region's dependence on rainfall to water crops.

While a season of failed crops could otherwise get farmers to finally deliver their glut of stored grains waiting for more favorable prices to market, the more likely scenario is a continued increase in imports of staple and fodder crops. Thanks to "progress" the problem of endemic2 obesity is likely to continue to grow.

  1. Yes, La Nina has ways of making Iowa in particular suffer exceptionally.  

  2. The reality that this problem is here to stay precludes referring to it as an epidemic. Epidemics pass.  

Asia Losing Garment Manufacturing Jobs To Machines

Numerous reports are emerging that Adidas will be destroying the jobs of numerous workers in Asia who have been manufacturing their footwear for decades. Adidas is following numerous other garment manufacturers in deciding to trade payroll and other assorted costs associated with employing homo sapiens for the comparatively predictable costs associated with financing and maintaining machines. Urban apparel maker Nike is also working on eliminating its workforce in Asia in favor of roboting garment assembly. Mining never changes. Sorry for your loss.

US dollar Falls Against Bitcoin In Move Lead By Chinese Trading

The value of the United States dollar has been falling sharply over the past week as evidenced by prices reported by various exchanges. Compare today:

gribble: Bitstamp BTCUSD last: 515.98, vol: 12731.63597753 | BTC-E BTCUSD last: 504.248, vol: 15287.34937 | Bitfinex BTCUSD last: 525.01, vol: 78077.20951914 | CampBX BTCUSD last: 455.0, vol: 8.61002736 | BTCChina BTCUSD last: 582.162181, vol: 98456.32250000 | Kraken BTCUSD last: 523.412, vol: 5386.22732809 | Bitcoin-Central BTCUSD last: 489.06, vol: 175.11466033 | Volume-weighted last average: (1 more message)
gribble: 549.658128339

To May 27th:

gribble: Bitstamp BTCUSD last: 470.26, vol: 12079.16275283 | BTC-E BTCUSD last: 467.8, vol: 12941.60984 | CampBX BTCUSD last: 451.0, vol: 4.26073272 | BTCChina BTCUSD last: 496.321332, vol: 74752.45100000 | Kraken BTCUSD last: 470.9, vol: 1744.79227392 | Bitcoin-Central BTCUSD last: 471.5728, vol: 209.9632246 | Volume-weighted last average: 489.10970125

Notice from today's report that Chinese trading is leading this devaluation of the United States dollar. Chinese traders have also been substantially divesting from non-dollar United States assets at an accelerating rate for the past several years. Sorry for your loss.