Obama Brings Fish to Orgasm In Alaska Vacation Hijinks

CNN and numerous other outlets are reporting that in a depraved act of bestiality the Commander in Chief of the American socialist state Barack Obama has brought a male salmon to orgasm in from of a crowd of spectators (archived). The event occurred during Obama's current vacation to Alaska where he went to an area known to have numerous horny stud salmon in mating form. In the brief time he handled on of the fish he was able to bring the fish to drip its seed all over his shoes. In the past Obama has made it known he is an enemy of Bitcoin and General Purpose Computing going so far as to issue oppressive instructions to law enforcement while denying mercy for a brave American patriot who had opposed his efforts to impose socialist hegemony in cyberspace. It is unknown at the present whether Michelle Obama had given her assent to Barack's hookup with the fish, or if she knew at all about Barack's sexual proclivities of the piscine variety.

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