Argentine Government And Monsanto Approaching Peace Deal

The Argentine government is considering a bill which would require soy farmers to pay royalties over three generations of crops grown from genetically modified seeds of the sort peddled by Monsanto. The measure would present a far better situation than that available to farmers in the United States, where in there perverted farming culture they are made to either buy seeds for every crop or pay as though they had bought seeds. The Argentine compromise would at least recognize that in sane agriculture farmers get to save a portion of their previous crop as seed if they choose to do so. Peace in our time.

US Navy Project "Tor" Surrounded By Drama As USG Reasserts Control

Further drama continues to besiege the fandom surrounding the United States Navy project commonly referred to as "Tor" as the United States Government reasserts overt control over the project. Back in July the entire board was sacked with the exception of NSA asset, Political Officer, and project co-founder Roger Dingledine who transitioned to a "technical leadership" position along with his fellow co-founder. Now that it is a month later, the fandom community surrounding Tor is proposing a "general strike" and other forms of flailing because reality won't let them continue pretending this thing they though was their private playground never actually was any of the things they pretended. Sorry for your lost innocence.

After Years Of Rumours Coinbase Adds Litecoin Support, Kind Of

With rumours of Coinbase adopting Litecoin1 dating back to 2012, the time has finally arrived. Sort of. Coinbase has opened a market for trading a Litecoin versus United States dollar currency pair on their GDAX exchange. Anticipation that Coinbase would in some way do something with Litecoin peaked in August of 2013 when they hired Litecoin creator Charles Lee (WOT:coblee). Apparently Coinbase was just waiting for the right scamcoin to pop their altcoin cherry before letting the largely abandoned Litecoin take a ride with them. Sorry for your lost years.


  1. A supposedly experimental ASIC and FPGA resistant altcoin now largely mined with ASICs and FPGAs farms to the extent anyone bothers with it at all.  

Cost Of Wrong Kitty Litter Escalates Into The Billions Following Nuclear Waste Accident

The Los Angeles Times reports that the estimated cost of cleaning up a 2014 underground containment failure at a nuclear waste storage site in New Mexico is climbing past the two billion United States dollar mark (archived). The failure occurred at a facility located within an underground salt dome. A container holding Plutonium and Americium waste failed because organic kitty litter used as a binding agent reacted with the waste creating gas that lead to an explosion reportedly contaminating 35% of the space in the underground facility. Using inert mineral kitty litter would have prevented this accident.

The accident has lead to a cavalcade of fail1 as the facility's unsafety has lead to delays in sequestering waste from "temporary" storage at former nuclear weapons facilities including the notorious Hanford Site there. This means that in addition to the costs imposed by attempts to restore this salt dome to safety the accident has forced the United States Government to breach agreements with a number of state and local governments for failure to dispose of their nuclear trash according to agreed upon schedules. It has also threatened to bring the United States into violation of International Treaties with Russian and other nuclear powers on the reduction of weapons grade material.

The immediate cost of cleaning up after this breach is set to eclipse the Three Mile Island incident in absolute dollars, and the total cost imposed by the fallout is likely to eclipse Three Mile Island in inflation adjusted dollars. The latest alleged USMS auction of Silk Road-ish Bitcoins at 1.6 million United States dollars for 2700 Bitcoins can do nothing for the fiat order when it has debts like this. Sorry for your loss, but you should have read the label on that kitty litter.


  1. This is not unlike the situation US farmers chose trading their windbreaks and their neighbor's orchards for a season's soybean harvest.  

Pokemon Go Fad Already Over

Pokemon Go, a surveillance and public health app developed by Niantic, is already seeing declining usage according to every possible metric (archived). Likely contributing factors include the game having been released broken with updates only introducing software that's even more broken and gameplay that's even less sophisticated than Cookie Clicker, Farmville, and supposed "games" played for fun. Combine that with the reality of rampant transmayoism keeping the most likely core fanbase from engaging in the optimal gameplay strategy of walking around outside and you have a complete market failure no amount of brand related nostalgia1 can save. Meanwhile other games with allegedly more satisfying mechanics are continuing to grow. Just say Pokemon No.


  1. In related news Crystal Pepsi is back and 1990's nostalgia is apparently a thing marketers are trying to push.  

PayPal Freezes Bundy Accounts Over Rebellion Against Federal Government

Paypal has frozen accounts associated with Cliven Bundy and his Nevada ranch. Cattle rancher and American Patriot Cliven Bundy was captured by Federal Forces in Portland while he was travelling to support his sons following their effort to liberate a portion of the high desert in Oregon. Cliven's sons Ammon and Ryan had already been captured in an incident which left Ryan injured by gunshot and Lavoy Finicum murdered by FBI stooges. Meanwhile the only Federal officer to face charges of terrorism in United States courts was indicted for playing with gift cards. Peace in our time.

Bitfinex Partners Up For Your Loss

Admitting defeat in all their attempts to use actual Bitcoin, Bitfinex announced on their blog yesterday they have decided to resort to more fractional reserve tricks and have hired BnkToTheFuture1 to assist them in their efforts to compensate customers for their socialized losses due to the devastating hack that occurred earlier this month. The announcement stated that BnkToTheFuture "will be providing a Special Purpose Vehicle (SPV) through which qualifying BFX token holders can contribute their tokens in exchange for an equity interest in compliance with their individual jurisdictions". BnkToTheFuture received over USD $70 million in investments from other pretend Bitcoin services such as ShapeShit.io and Uphold. Bitfinex said customers could learn more about this new type of suppository on the BnkToTheFuture blog (archived). Sorry for your loss.


  1. Also spelled "BitcoinBuilderMtGoxCoin Market" 

Noodle Bricks Overtaking Smokes As US Prison Currency Standard

According to a recent report by Michael Gibson-Light, doctoral student at the University of Arizona’s school of sociology, the ubiquitous Ramen noodle pack is fast replacing tobacco as the currency of choice amongst US prisoners. Gibson-Light conducted the study over the course of a year while conducting research for another project, and attributes the rise in value being due to substandard nutrition that inmates are now receiving due to budget cuts in prisons nationwide. Inmates often exchange the soup packs, which cost less than $1 in prison commissaries, for items of much higher value. In the prison where the study was conducted, one pack could fetch an inmate 5 handmade cigarettes worth approximately $2, and other assorted sundries were often valued in soup packs. Other inmates used ramen to pay for such services as laundry or cell-cleaning. Violence has been known to erupt over ramen bought on credit when the noodly debts went too long unpaid. Mr Gibson-Light concluded the study by stating that "The shift from tobacco to ramen highlights how dire the nutritional standards at prisons has become." Gresham's Law bitch! Sorry for your loss.

Fratire Retailer Suffers Pervasive Malware Installation

Popular fratire retailer Eddie Bauer suffered a pervasive installation of malware that spanned all of its 350 retail locations according to Brian Krebs (archived). This is astounding normal in electronic fiat payment systems. Krebs however has not offered any words on his blog concerning a far graver malfeasance recently uncovered. Sorry for your loss.

Nth French Republic Sending Tourists To Belgium For Death

In an attempt to ease the pain of the lost business from folks who can no longer stand the stench of the Nth Republic centred in Al-Paris, Brugmann University hospital’s Michele Morret-Rauis wants to assure the world that all is well :

Of course, Belgium is not here to euthanize half the planet.

Of course! If half the planet lived under the unbearable burden of multicultural socialism, then maybe, but thankfully that's not the case, and only Europe and the Americas1 are so offensively afflicted. Nonetheless, "euthanasia tourists" are flocking to Belgium in droves, with assisted suicides doubling to 2`023 in the last five years alone, nearly half of which are French (archived). Rest in Peace in our Time.


  1. Or just ~2/7 billion homo sapiens on Earth.